DH was meeting up with some of his friends because one was in town for work, four in total. I have an 11 month old DS and DH told me to come meet them because he wanted his friend one from out of town to meet our son. They were meeting for pizza across London, and it was a big production for me to get DS there, honestly. I arrived at the very end of the meal as a result, but DH didn't care. (Nor did he care about the inconvenience to haul my son all over the city, either.) Now, DS is a very active boy, and I work from home with my own business during evenings and naps, so somewhat flexible but very much bringing in money, and since I'm home, I also do pretty much all the SAHM stuff too. Well, the men showed very little interest in DS (or me), as they preferred to talk to each other, which was fine but made the ordeal feel pointless, and not long after I arrived, the two local friends said they had to get going and started saying that their wives were home with their one-month old babies (both their firsts), and so they were going to be packing up all the rest of the food to bring back to their wives and then they started loading the pizza into boxes and dividing it between the two of them. They made this big production about their poor wives, how exhausted they were, and DH and the friend from out of town were all in agreement, yes, those poor tired mums, bring them all the rest of the food to make their lives a little easier! I was sitting there with a baby on my actual lap, having just rushed all around London to meet them after minding my son and working all day, and I had not yet eaten. Sure, a newborn is tough but an 11-month old boy who is now walking and getting into everything is a lot of work, too! I would have loved to have my day made easier too! I just felt like somehow all these men thought these wives with one-month olds deserved better treatment than me. I was the only woman at the table--and I was with a BABY!
When I said something to DH afterward about how I am a tired mother of a baby too and that he should have spoken up about the food on the table, he said he knew we could just get more food later... I wish I had just stayed home. I just felt...invisible. Like did I have to wave my son in the air to remind these four men that I was also a mum with a baby?