Called “greedy” at work

@Caligirl80

they sit out all afternoon at a bakery or the bakery section of a supermarket…what’s the difference?

@changeme4this

why on earth would she do that?? Do you think they’ll be so jealous of her takeaway they’ll feel remorseful and bad about thinking her to be greedy at the buffet??
I don’t think they’ll give a shit

GiveDogBone wow. I suggest you read the OP again. OP has already said that at 4pm there was loads left. How have you come to the conclusion that there wasn't enough for everyone else?

It might not have been women. Men can be just as bad in the workplace!

Much compassionate empathy to you
You're Most Surely not unreasonable nor greedy
Why do some smart alecs feel the need to make such unnecessary unkind digs - How were you supposed to know some made an agreement to bring some home to their children, unless they made a proper announcement, where everyone was present to be informed
Seems there always has to be 1 or 2 to spoil some events, ready with Wise cracks to put others down
You've done nothing wrong, hold your head high, don't permit the snide ones to make you feel embarrassment
This is their aim
Primarily, the buffet was for work staff not their Children & not a single one of them has the right to try to make you feel small with their malicious mockery
Please stay strong, these types will be picking on someone else soon
Wishing You&Yours All The Utmost Very Best Sincere Soul 💚🤗💚

She didn't fill her plate several times or want to take any home. Where did you read that?

Who on earth wants to take home a load of flapjacks/cake that's been sat out all afternoon?? Much less gives a damn about it enough to cause them to be rude to a co-worker - whether or not that co-worker has been shovelling a load of food into their mouths all afternoon?? Of course they can think whatever they want - and no doubt lots of people did indeed think that it was quite the display of gluttony - but the point is to keep that kind of thought to oneself when at work.

Just a question..how many sandwiches can one eat every hour? You said after about an hour you got a few more sandwiches and you seem to have done this several times. So yes that’s a lot. Yes there’s no restriction but I think the point is if you’re eating like 10 sandwiches etc people may raise their eyebrows.

They probably wanted to take home the leftover muffins and flapjacks, not the stale sandwiches.

You should have said "oh I'm sorry, I wasn't aware you were struggling to feed your kids, and just assumed this would be thrown in the bin at the end of the day as it would be quite stale. If you need help, I would be more than happy to buy you a loaf of bread and some filling....." (said with a sickly sweet tone and smile).

This.
It does sound like you had quite a lot.

Exactly.

I do t think you were being unreasonable, but at the same time, as someone who has lived with disordered eating myself, perhaps you weren’t very self aware either. Either way, your colleagues were rude to say something out loud.

I’ve struggled with food all my life. If I’d have been in that situation, I also would have struggled not to keep going back. I was always hungry. I knew I was eating more than everyone else. I knew I shouldn’t be hungry, but yet, I was hungry. Always! I would have been quietly assessing how long was appropriate to wait before going back for more. At the same time thinking, it would be a shame for the food to go to waste, but still, with an awareness that others were probably watching and judging. This wouldn’t have just been in buffet situation. Any shared food would have had me assessing whether or not I could do something like eat the last piece of garlic bread, even if everyone else was up to dessert. Could I take it? Would I be judged? Sometimes, I’d take the food anyway, and other times, that fear of judgement would stop me.

I guess I’d wonder whether you have self reflected on your own behaviour around food. For you, was this a one off, or is it usual for you? That’s not a question for you to answer here, but something to ponder. While your colleagues were rude, I would worry that that people were always judging my behaviour around food, whether they mentioned it or not. I don’t know you and you may or may not be overweight, I was, so this played into things too.

If you are significantly overweight, then speak to your doctor. I personally had weight loss surgery (I’m not advocating for this) and for the first time in my life, I’m not hungry! It’s will sound crazy to some people, but it has been the most freeing thing ever for me. The part of the stomach that is removed is where ghrelin is produced, this is the hunger hormone. These days, I’m rarely ever hungry. I’m also free of diet culture, don’t count calories, and while I’m mindful about what I eat, food no longer controls me.

I believe that some of the new weight loss drugs also have a similar effect. I’m not saying this is something that relates to what happened at work with your rude colleagues, but if it does resonate with you, please speak to your doctor.

that whatever was left would be taken home by those with kids. I did not hear this. I said I hadn’t heard this so someone said “Well no, you won’t have” and rolled their eyes.

This comment sounds really bitchy.
Id be thinking that colleagues talk about me behind my back

You appear to be ignoring the fact that this was a buffet and the food was left out after lunch (many offices don't actually have a designated "lunch hour" especially in professional settings). If the food was still there to be eaten then anyone who wanted some could have some. If there was a limitation then that should have been made clear.

Now: would you eat 4 platefuls of food?? Maybe not, and neither would I. I also wouldn't want to take home a load of warm buffet food that's been sat out all afternoon and coughed on by the whole office. BUT that is utterly irrelevant in this situation: if the food was available for all in the office then it was perfectly fine for her to shovel in whatever she wanted to eat. And to take some leftovers. What wasn't reasonable was for any co-workers to make comments to her about it. Or for there to be some provision that favored co-workers with children versus those without. It's bizarre that this load of food wasn't donated to a homeless shelter - but hey.

Sounds like a crap place to work, full of bitchy people who need to focus more on their work and less on what their co-workers are eating.

So? Why is that any of their business?? If there is free food and she wants to eat it then that's her business - it's not theirs, and they certainly shouldn't be making negative comments. This is a workplace: people don't get to bully or make negative comments just because they disagree with what people are eating.

Overall comment: seems like a cruddy place to work if the co-workers are any indication. If there was food and it was open for all then eat whatever you want - you could have put some food in some ziplock bags and put them in the fridge for later.

It was completely inappropriate for food to be limited to those who have children. Moreover after being sat out all afternoon it's a bit bizarre for people to be wanting to give that grotty stuff to their children anyway - it should all have been thrown away if it wasn't shelf stable.

If you feel bullied and this is a pattern of behaviour (have they made comments about your weight etc in the past??) then seek HR assistance. Co-workers shouldn't be making snotty comments to each other about what they eat. Your co-worker sound like utter morons so perhaps use this as an excuse to test the waters on some other, better jobs. Go have some interviews and enjoy the experience of meeting some new people (but don't mention the bitchy co-workers as being the reason!!!).

It wasn’t me , I was just commenting. The goods there for the staff, Not the staffs kids. Simple .

I think they're making a comment that you seem to have eaten the equivalent of four or five sandwiches in one day

She wasn’t filling up her plate . I might go up your times but it would literally be for a quarter of a sandwich because I’d not wanna waste it. It’s brought in for staff , not lazy parents who can’t be bothered to cook.

That would’ve made me take the lot, lick it then bin it.

Probably lazy people who think ah great I don’t have to cook tonight. It’s there for the people in the office.

I have to admit I enjoy eating something that someone else has prepared or bought in and would eat more than if it was my own.

but it’s no one’s business to be watching you at work and how much you eat.

I would consider bowing out of participation next time and if asked, state you were singled out unfairly and there seemed to be some agreement made by others they were taking food home when when that was not the intention of the event.

I would go and buy a nice smelling hot takeaway and bring it back to work to eat. Do you have an Italian or Chinese restaurant nearby who will do takeaways?

'He who hesitates is lost'.

I am inclined to think that everyone wanted to eat the food but were afraid of others thinking they were greedy, so thought they would take it at the end of the day rather than leave it.

Then you come along and eat it and they are miffed. Serve them right. They had their chance.

They are the embarrassed ones, not you.

It isn't unlike someone at a meeting asking a question and others whispering ''I wanted to know that, but didn't want to look ignorant''.

Making the comment about greedy is what was out of order. I spend time in an office where I can't believe how much people seem to eat - it's loads! All the time! They never stop! - but nothing on earth would make me say something like that and I can honestly say I don't even think it.

I think the person who said that was being incredibly rude, and actually I don't think much to the person who exclaimed about your going back to graze a bit more, either. The food was there to share and you were doing no more. Don't let these people undermine your confidence.