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Called “greedy” at work

516 replies

HamOnBeth · 29/05/2025 12:28

Yesterday we had a lunch buffet for a staff member who is going on mat leave. Usual routine is the buffet comes out at lunch time and everyone brings something such as sandwiches, sausage rolls, flapjacks, etc etc … basic party food. We do a little gift and card giving presentation then everyone gets tucked into the buffet. After lunch the food stays there and people just pick at it during the afternoon whilst they work.

So after lunch we got back to work and I walked across and got a few more sandwiches (other people were also going back up). An hour or so later I went back and got a few more bits - certainly not platefuls - just a couple of sandwiches, a couple of (bite size) flapjacks and a muffin.

We leave at 5pm. At 4pm someone said “there is so much food left”. That’s all I heard so I assumed it needed using up so I went back and got a few more bits. At this point someone said “Jesus Christ Beth, are you hungry?!”

I said “well it needs using up doesn’t it?” And laughed trying to keep it light hearted. Someone else then said “there is going to be none left for people to take home! No need to be greedy with it”.

Long story short it was apparently agreed that whatever was left would be taken home by those with kids. I did not hear this. I said I hadn’t heard this so someone said “Well no, you won’t have” and rolled their eyes.

was I really out of order here?? The food was there, lots of it. Nobody else was bothering with it. I’m embarrassed but I still don’t really think I did anything wrong? It’s not like I scoffed it all as soon as it came out.

OP posts:
crazeekat · 29/05/2025 14:25

Starling7 · 29/05/2025 12:33

Take note of this in your diary, with the people involved and their exact quotes. My nightmare workplace bullying situation started off with a little gang making comments like this. Watch your back. Xx

Absolutely this.

EmeraldShamrock000 · 29/05/2025 14:24

LillyPJ · 29/05/2025 14:20

I still feel indignant decades later that I was told I couldn't have the vegetarian option at a group lunch (there was one meat dish, one fish dish and one vegetarian dish) because I wasn't a vegetarian and 'the vegetarians don't have a choice'. Yes, they do - they've chosen the vegetarian option! I still wish I'd said that I'd just become a vegetarian.

I'm not a vegetarian, but isn't it an unspoken rule? That the vegetarian option was provided for the vegetarians when there is only a certain amount and hearty meat options available.
Just saying.
I wouldn't take from the small vegan platter that 3 colleagues are expected to split.

LivingDeadGirlUK · 29/05/2025 14:23

I would be nipping the 'taking it home for the kids' thing in the bud right away, colleagues aren't there to feed your kids Susan.

ChocolateCinderToffee · 29/05/2025 14:22

HeChokedOnAChorizo · 29/05/2025 13:16

In our office we do buffets quite often, make an occasion of it, we team up with the office next to us and everyone brings in food, and we take an hour to have a social and eat the food. Nobody takes the piss and everyone brings in something and the left overs are put into the communal kitchen so we can have more if we want. Its a mix of men and women probably 70/30 more women.

Another team have asked to join us when we do them but to be honest we dont want to as its mainly all men and we have observed that when its a full office meeting (as in retirement/maternity etc) we all bring food in except the men from that office but they are all first in the queue eating loads of food, piling their plates high. We do a list so we know who is bringing what to save on duplicates and they never contribute. They have access to the list and their contribution is blank next to their name.

I would never keep score of how many times someone went up to the buffet or make a comment, and as for "taking it home for the kids" who decided that? Not very fair on the people who dont have kids.

Yeah, this. It was very noticeable in my last workplace that three or four of the guys never brought anything to shared buffets but they’d pile their plates high. They were also the ones earning most. After about four sessions like this, I did comment that it seemed unfair that the people who brought least ate the most. But I didn’t direct it at one person.

LillyPJ · 29/05/2025 14:22

nomas · 29/05/2025 13:24

Ah the teeny tinies are out in force.

What's 'teeny tinies' got to do with it? Four plates of food in an afternoon is a lot of food by anybody's standards.

HumanRightsAreHumanRights · 29/05/2025 14:22

I'd think you were greedy and had some sort of food issue if you couldn't keep from going back for half stale bits of bread and multiple cakes after you'd just had lunch.

If lunch ended at 1pm and at 4pm you were off to fill up on your 4th pile of beige food and cakes, you were averaging going back for more every 45 minutes or so.

Can you not go much more than an hour without eating, or are you just unable to control yourself in a room that contains food?

I think the people who were planning on bringing any home are weird though, I would have to be using a food bank to be desperate enough to feed my children on left over stuff that had sat on the side in an office for half a day.

Civilservant · 29/05/2025 14:22

Colleagues were rude. Not OK to call a colleague ‘greedy’ out loud.

AguNwaanyi · 29/05/2025 14:21

I don't know why the kids are catching strays when the problem is your rude ADULT co-workers making comments that had no place, regardless of what you knew or didn't know about the plans for the leftovers.

LillyPJ · 29/05/2025 14:20

Sdrena · 29/05/2025 12:43

As a teenager I was reprimanded at a wake by the son-in-law of the deceased for trying to take a second piece of the only vegetarian offering because ‘everyone else likes it too’. I still feel a mix of shame and indignation three decades on!

I still feel indignant decades later that I was told I couldn't have the vegetarian option at a group lunch (there was one meat dish, one fish dish and one vegetarian dish) because I wasn't a vegetarian and 'the vegetarians don't have a choice'. Yes, they do - they've chosen the vegetarian option! I still wish I'd said that I'd just become a vegetarian.

EmeraldShamrock000 · 29/05/2025 14:16

Was the food prepared by colleagues
homemade? I wouldn't eat it. 😕
Yes, you were greedy, 3 visits was too much without ensuring that other people were done, some people could have planned a second helping when leaving, you went for a third.

Fibrous · 29/05/2025 14:15

It all ends up getting binned at our work place. I would rather people were scoffing it down than have such waste.

Never2many · 29/05/2025 14:14

At the end of the day the reason for the obesity crisis in this country is the fact that people are over eating.

And nobody is allowed to say anything about it any more because it’s apparently fat-shaming to do so.

But while someone might go back to a buffet a couple of times, going back for several plates of food is eating to excess.

If the OP is greedy then she’s entitled to be.

But others are also entitled to think that someone who goes up for four plates of sandwiches and muffins is greedy. Because they are.

I wouldn’t have said anything, but I would have thought it.

So the question is, why isn’t it ok to say it if it’s true?

Taking home leftovers for the kids is a different thing and that shouldn’t have been pre-planned either.

Sdrena · 29/05/2025 14:14

Shellianotwheels · 29/05/2025 14:08

You sound greedy too

What a bizarre response!

Agapornis · 29/05/2025 14:13

Of course because the little kiddies never get any snacks 🙄

I'm the [childfree] person who brings extra tupperware knowing that there'll be leftovers at the end of the day 🫅🏻

Hwi · 29/05/2025 14:12

Kids in Ethiopia? What a bloody joke. YANBU

vintagehope · 29/05/2025 14:11

Wednesdayisme · 29/05/2025 14:10

I agree but what's the difference in making sure there's some left for their children. Not much difference is it really

I think it's all daft, food is for colleagues and been left out all day. I wouldnt give my children it lol

Both is batshit.

And no I wouldn’t want the food either.

grizzlyoldbear · 29/05/2025 14:10

They sound really uptight and silly, plus it would have gone stale by the evening, best to just eat it up!

Wednesdayisme · 29/05/2025 14:10

vintagehope · 29/05/2025 14:04

Yes, I understand. But I’m saying that would be rude as hell, wrapping food up to take home before people who work there and brought the food had finished eating. Leftovers is one thing. I would definitelt stop contributing if cf people did this.

I agree but what's the difference in making sure there's some left for their children. Not much difference is it really

I think it's all daft, food is for colleagues and been left out all day. I wouldnt give my children it lol

Shellianotwheels · 29/05/2025 14:09

Willyoujust · 29/05/2025 14:08

Are you overweight? You do sound like a bit of a greedy guts 😅😅

Or worms?

Willyoujust · 29/05/2025 14:08

Are you overweight? You do sound like a bit of a greedy guts 😅😅

diddl · 29/05/2025 14:08

I guess the answer to "are you hungry?" was yes & that's why you were taking more food!

Otherwise you'd have been asking about stuff to take home.

Shellianotwheels · 29/05/2025 14:08

Sdrena · 29/05/2025 14:01

‘Excessive’ or ‘too much’ and ‘a lot’ aren’t synonymous.

The last is neutral. The former two are not.

Op may have eaten loads of food. I don’t necessarily think this implies excess. In the absence of it harming anyone, who is to say it’s excessive?

But I don’t think we’re going to agree on this as it’s clear eating more than strictly necessary is inextricably bound up with morality for many people!

You sound greedy too

Loloj · 29/05/2025 14:06

YANBU. Your colleague was very rude.

If you were piling your plate high 4 times in quick succession and not leaving enough for others I would think you were greedy but I still wouldn’t say anything.

Hoppinggreen · 29/05/2025 14:04

BaronessEllarawrosaurus · 29/05/2025 12:45

I'll admit to me it sounds like you had a lot, an hour after lunch you went back for several more sandwiches, another hour and a couple of sandwiches, flapjacks and a muffin. That's all I'd normally eat for lunch and I wouldn't be constantly grazing all afternoon

And?

Overtheatlantic · 29/05/2025 14:04

Many years ago a couple of assistants would deliberately order food that they would then take home for their families. They finally got caught when they ordered BBQ ribs for 30 for a “working lunch” 🤣

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