Cousin-in-law’s Wedding Restrictions on spouses.

She can't join on the big dance floor as she is not invited.

Is there something about weddings where people look for loopholes when they are not invited?

It's not hard. No invite, no attendance

Accept you're not invited and stop being so pushy. Desperate.

Go to another hotel and spa and have a lovely time. Don’t get caught up on the fringes of this one

If the bar and breakfast are catered for as part of the wedding then you can't use them. If you don't use the bar and there is a big dance floor I don't see why you couldn't join in that bit, although there may be security on the door to keep non guests out. Breakfast again if there is an area reserved for guests then a bit tricky, if it's just one big room then no problem. Often these things are a bit more lax when you get there than they sound in writing.

No. He saying that his wedding is only allowing those that are invited. The op can go the hotel but will not be invited into the bar the night before as the bar has been reserved as a private function.

You're not invited.

They know that you're hoping to get invited in as you'll be hanging around the venue.

It's embarrassing.

Don't go to that hotel. Have a great time at another one.

Again, you are not invited. Don't go. You'll just make a scene.

It’s quite normal for hotels to have smaller bar areas that are reserved for an event. There might be a capacity restriction, they might have put money behind the bar for invited guests. He’s being polite by being clear upfront so there’s no embarrassment at the time. Basically he’s saying he knows some spouses etc are coming to stay at the hotel, which is fine, but please don’t come to the invited guests parts, and please don’t ask your spouses to go to bars or breakfast with you as he wants to have the invited guests all together. Of course he can’t make your husband go and have breakfast with the other wedding guests, or go to the reserved bar rather than a public one with you, but given it’s his wedding and he’s nicely explained who has been invited etc, please don’t try to muscle in at the edges.

Just don't go to the hotel at all. You're not invited and shouldn't be hanging around on the fringes hoping be invited in for a dance or having breakfast with the wedding guests! Go to another hotel if you want a spa break.

So are you planning to stay in the room with your husband? Who is paying for the room?

If the hotel is open to other guests they will presumably have other bar facilities available if one is closed for the wedding so you should still be able to get a drink in those. There will presumably also be somewhere where you can get breakfast. It would be odd for a hotel to close their dining facilities and not tell customers in advance.

Cringe. Why on earth are you even going to the hotel? You’re not invited and it’s rude to just show up. You’re embarrassing yourself and your husband.

Sounds like they have paid per head (hence the restrictions on spouses in the first place) and the groom is worried about trouble with the venue if it comes across like they've tried to sneak an extra few people in.

If you really want to go (although why would you when made clear you'reso unwelcome?) contact the hotel and find out what facilities will be open to the public/non wedding guests that weekend.

I think it would be unusual for a hotel bar to be closed to residents, even if they were hosting a wedding.

Personally I'd probably go and have my spa weekend elsewhere.

Is the whole hotel reserved for the wedding?

If there's other members of the public around then it's fine to use the hotels amenities. I wouldn't expect to be invited in for a dance at all, that bit did make it sound like you were thinking you could just turn up for the evening.

Is he saying that spouses are not allowed to observe the ceremony & stay at the hotel at all? So if you wanted to tag along for a pamper weekend & do a bit of shopping & eat separately; you will not be allowed to do this?

He doesn't own the hotel and he hasn't hired it for exclusive use only so he can fuck right off with his restrictions. He doesn't want to be reminded of his decision to bar spouses so he'd rather not see you at all that weekend. That's what he's trying to say without saying it out loud.

If the hotel has been reserved for exclusive use of the wedding guests you would have been unreasonable to turn up and hang around.

If the hotel is open to the public and you are paying for your own room, then of course you can go.

If there is a family breakfast event the following day, it follows this is part of the wedding so you shouldn’t go.