To be fuming with MIL and Husband?

@skydiver1985

He knew full well he was over the limit which is why he initially lied about getting a lift. Twat.
I'd fuck off for the weekend alone & leave him & his enabling mother to look after the kids.

If he didn't think he was still over the limit, why lie? People who drink and drive are scum.

Three beers is not necessarily fine as it depends on the ABV - 3 pints of 8% cask ale would leave you flat on the floor, for example. But if he was eating at the same time and the beer was 'session ale' i.e. about 3% ABV he might not be over the limit at the end of a long day. That given, I would not drink on one glass of wine drunk at a 3 course meal, but that's just me.

Selfish , selfish people. Especially with what's in the news.

How many people’s lives could he have ruined on the way home?! There is a reason there is a legal limit.

Personally I’d be saying that if he did it again I’d shop him to the police.

This thread showcases that in truth you can’t tell whether you are under or over the limit to drive. Because how much alcohol is in your system depends on too many factors… strength of alcohol, amount of alcohol, time it was drunk, food eaten, body build, alcohol tolerance etc etc.
Bottom line for me is if you’ve drunk anything you don’t drive. And I don’t understand why this isn’t the norm - at least morally if not legally. How many people who have said he would probably have been under the limit would have been ok with that if they or someone they knew was injured/killed in an accident involving this driver?
in this scenario…. Who knows how much he actually drank and it’s kind of irrelevant as he knows he was in the wrong, which he proved by lying in the first place. Now it’s just down to whether you show him you are ok with what he did and carry on as normal or show him it’s not acceptable…

This is why the whole of UK should adopt Scotlands 0 alcohol when driving. It takes away any ambiguity about quantities.

I was told it took the average sized man 1
hour to process 1 unit of alcohol. A pint is usually 2 units, so 3 beers is 6 units. Really “3 beers” being fine to drink then drive later would depend on when he had them. Drank 3 beers all before 5pm then drove at midnight- fine. Was still drinking at 6:30/7pm when you left? Possibly not depending on when he had the others in the day.

(this is why often after a “big session” you aren’t safe to drive the next day, your body needs time to process each unit, smaller women take longer to deal with the same amount of alcohol)

Absolutely. I can have a small glass of wine and feel quite tipsy sometimes and other days 3/4 glasses and feel nothing.

None of that means I wouldn’t be impaired driving so I stick to absolutely nothing.

Driving drunk is no different from waving a loaded gun around drunk. The man is a despicable human being, sorry to be blunt but even Max Verstappen couldn’t drive safely under the influence and anyone who doesn’t realise that is simply an idiot.

Yeah, he's lying. If he'd really only had 3 beers all day why would he feel the need to lie about someone driving them home? I couldn't get over the drink driving I'm afraid and like hell I'd ever be leaving my children in the charge of his equally moronic mother.

You were with him until 7pm how much had he had to drink by then?

If it was 3 beers over a whole day he would've been under the limit by the time he came home (on the basis they were spread out and he didn't down 3 pints in the half hour before they left)

Odd that he lied about how they got home though, surely if the answer was I switched to cokes after you left so I could drive back and we didn't have to pick the car up this morning, he would've said so rather than lie.

If this was a one off I would be expecting a reasonable chat with DH, a recognition that he shouldn’t have done it, if close or above drink drive limit (the limit shouldn’t be a target to aim for). An explanation why he lied to start with if hadn’t been anywhere near the limit.

I think his reaction when having a discussion will tell you what you need to know

Do you think he’s being honest about how much he drank. Would your Mil have believed him. does he normally drink much

Look. You were with him until 7pm so you must know the rate of his drinking. How many beers did he have whilst with you when you were there the whole day and evening together till 7pm? No way you wouldn't know this. If only a couple of beers then it is very likely he only had one more knowing he was driving home is it not? He had the car there so you must have known he was planning to drive home. 3 beers over the entire day and night he would not be over the limit. The way you worded your OP was that he'd been tanking it for 12 hours and was absolutely bladdered. Just pure rage bait. Ridiculous

Then if this is the first time this has happened and he doesn't usually lie, I'd just have a chat about it and carry on as normal. It was a mistake. He's not a drunk driver normally, nor is he a liar normally.

I'd let this time go after a chat.

This, in respect of granny. If she’d been drinking all day she would probably be over the limit at least next morning or hungover.

Did your idiot husband not realise that you’d see the car outside? That he didn’t, tells me how drunk he was.

If he had even hit a parked car or a wall, the insurance wouldn't pay out as he had invalidated it by drinking, and you'd have a bill for probably tens of thousands.

So did he seem drunk? OP, you presumably know how much he drank before you left at least? You don't say 'he says 3 beers but I know for a fact he'd had 4 by the time I left?' or 'he says 3 beers but he stank and and seemed out of it/tipsy,' so I feel there's at least a chance he had 3 beers well-spaced out/early on in the day and may well have been ok to drive. So a conversation is needed.
It's worrying that he initially lied, but maybe he thought you were going to make fuss, but maybe you would be right to do so.

I think it's a bit OTT to question whether mil will be driving the dc though. There's nothing here to suggest she would drink and drive, never mind with her dgc in the car. We have no detail on what she has said, all we know is she doesn't have an alcohol problem. OP's dh may have lied to her about how much he had (if he was over the limit) for a start.

If he hadn't been drinking he'd have said - 'what do you mean how did I get home, I drove, of course! '

Alcohol is processed at rate of about 1 unit per hour. If he had a bottle of beer containing 3 units at 1, another at 3 and one at 5 for example, by midnight he would have been OK to drive. If he had those 3 beers at 7pm, 9pm and 11pm he definitely would not.

The issue for me would have been the lying, if he genuinely thought he was fine then why lie.

You wouldn’t be saying that if it was your child he killed. No wonder drink driving is still rife with attitudes like this.

3 beers all day or 3 beers at the evening do?

If it was 3 pints spread 2 hours or more apart then he probably was fine to drive.

3 pints in 3/4 hours then absolutely not.

The question is do you trust what he’s said? Because if you think he’s lying that’s a bigger issue as well.

I think op is just trying to explain what he said about the amount he drank not making a point about it being beer. 🤦‍♀️

When he initially lied and said they’d been given a lift home, how was he going to explain the fact the MIL’s car was outside?