To want to send an angry email to our house buyer after he pulled out days before exchange

Also worth adding as you don't know what their circumstances are, and it could be unavoidable/painful you could really annoy them by contacting them. It's possible whatever issue they had could resolve and they could be back on in the future so don't shoot yourself in the foot. This is the reason that they tell you it's one of the most stressful things you can do. Good luck with everything. Sometimes as painful as it is better things come when other things fall away.

Before or after a survey?

These situations could be so easily avoided! In Spain you sign a "intent to buy agreement" and pay a deposit. If buyer pulls out they lose the deposit. If the sellers pull out they have to return double the deposit. Works easily enough over here!

So you were allowed to delay things for your own convenience, but when they did something for theirs "it shouldn't be allowed". Have you consdiered that your own refusal to exchange could be behind this - perhaps in that time they found somewhere else, circumstances changed, they got cold feet about the house....

I agree that our system isn't great, and it is VERY stressful.

But did your estate agent not talk to you about your buyers' position? When we moved recently our estate agent was clear with us about when our buyers' were hoping to move. Likewise we were clear with the agents selling the house we were buying. Once we were nearly done with all the paperwork, our solicitors started talking about completion dates and we got that pencilled in while we waited for the final bits to come in. Once all the paperwork was sorted we exchanged straight away and firmed up our completion date.

So it seems odd to me that you didn't have an idea already about when your buyer was hoping to get things completed, and if you were in a position to exchange, why you didn't just do that and agree to a later completion date that worked for all parties? If, as others have suggested, to him this was a 'this date or I pull out' I would have expected the estate agent/solicitors to have been making that clear.

Of course, its entirely possible its not for any of those reasons, or that the estate agent or solicitors aren't very good, or had no idea.

Hopefully you can get another offer in place quickly and it won't delay things for you too much. But lesson learnt, until exchange happens, don't do anything!

Do you think he might be playing you?

Because given how close you are, the alternative (renting...? buying elsewhere...?) are all going to be longer.

Maybe he will come back and say... 'OK, I'll buy but for X-y rather than X'.

I'd double check with your solicitor that the buyer is 100% gone.

Alternatively, if it's going to risk your next house going, would you drop the price to entice him? Depends what you situation is, how much it will cost you not to move etc etc

Lobby your MP. If they are Labour, point out that their housing policy will not fully achieve its aims whilst the spivs charter remains for England and Wales. Suggest that the quickest change would be to apply the same principles as in Scottish law.

Next time listen to your buyer not his solicitor he has the money to make things move. His solicitor would have completed by the end of May.

That's your problem not his. He wanted to buy your house quickly why sell your house if you're not prepared?

You can do that in England too.

It's just that both parties would have to agree to it rather than it being imposed on you by law.

Wasn’t the OP out of the country when that request was made though, meaning that they physically couldn’t do this? Or have I misunderstood?

I actually would email him

Why did queries take weeks?

Queries always take weeks.

I would reply 'yes we pulled out it was whim because we were bored and just wanted to inconvenience you, it was a dare and we had nothing better to do'

So no I don't think writing will do anything, what would you hope the reply to be?

I can understand your frustration but the buyer will presumably have thought hard about pulling out at this stage, having paid out for a survey and solicitors fees for work done so far. So he will be out of pocket if that's any comfort.

How is that going to help? I get you're upset and frustrated but taking it out on the buyer achieves nothing.

That's the way our housing market works, and contract law. Annoying as it is.

I know someone who had to pull out of a house very late on because he lost his job and wouldn't have been able to make the mortgage payments. He was gutted as well. There are so many reasons for people pulling out.

I'm sorry this has happened to you, but no I don't think an email is appropriate. Focus your energies on finding another buyer.

I agree OP that a non refundable agreement of sale fee should be made by both sides as soon as a sale is agreed - so that if you do get time wasters, at least you are not out of pocket. The seller's fee could be refunded if the same completes but used to compensate the buyer for survey and conveyancing fees incurred if the seller changes their mind or goes with a gazumper. It would stop people from making casual decisions that play havoc with other people's lives.

Thanks.

This is our 7th sale/purchase, over 36 years. With one outlandish exception that dragged on and on until they pulled out, and one 2 week sale (!), that has been about right.

Bought the flat we’re moving to in Scotland on about 9 weeks. So much simpler than in England.

Many years ago now, I had the unenviable task of contacting an estate agent to tell them that unfortunately my FIL had died suddenly at work and would therefore not be in a position to go through with the purchase of a property. This was the day before exchange was due. I am sure that the vendor would have been unhappy that the sale fell through, but that was nothing compared to how my DH and the family felt at the sudden loss of their husband and father at such a young age.
OP, rant away as much as you need, but don't email your buyer - you have no idea why they have decided to pull out at such a late stage and as PPs have said, with all the costs already incurred, it's unlikely to be something they've done lightly.

Wow. Must be a UK/Ireland difference. We are in the process again! Should be in within that same 8/9 week timeline.

Okay, but I just meant that in my experience with house buying and selling an awful lot of money gets spent on solicitors, and they often delay things (a friend's house purchase recently was delayed for weeks on end because of her solicitor being away/unresponsive).

@MrsSkylerWhite good luck, I hope you are one of the rare cases this happens for. If you spend any time on the moving board on MN you'll see most people are 6 months plus even in a short chain.

No way is 2 months the norm! More like a land speed record, especially where there's a chain.

I’ve pulled out of purchases usually when the seller has been somewhat dishonest (saying they are happy to go in to rental then after me getting survey and searches saying they can’t sell until they find an ongoing purchase), had sellers back out on me (once due to ill health, once as they ‘changed their minds about selling’, twice got gazumped - always after I had done the surveys and searches etc). So totally agree the system in this country is appalling. Though I disagree with you @LittleBitofBread as the solicitors have to be transparent with costs and I’ve be we had one go over the initial fee stated.
OP I hope you find a buyer soon.

He wanted to complete a few days later, in late May. OP said no because it didn't suit her. So here she is now, complaining about him on MN instead of packing up to move.