Professional Ex vs SAHM

OP doesn’t drive. So the child never has use of the car with her anyway. So it does seem silly if it can’t be used at all when the child is with OP, but it might be better to not have the car at all if OP is having to spend money on public transport and not getting the benefit of the car.

Also, 50/50- he might try to do what my ex does and just have them from just before bedtime to first thing in the morning. CmS is based on nights. So you would be doing all of the daytime stuff and all the work, and he wouldn't need to pay. So whatever you do agree to, make sure times are added in to your agreement. As you say, with his work he won't be able to do actual 50/50 so this will help him realise that you won't be running around after him.

The car needs to go back and you receive the money/allowance for public transport instead. I’ve not heard of anyone being allowed to use the mobile car for work, it is not available for your dc ! Which is sort of the whole point.

Agree 47k isn’t a higher earner.

what is your housing situation? Where is he living?

Chances are, after cares, dla, uc, CB etc there may not be much difference in income.

I’d be cautious about agreeing to 50/50 on paper. I’d instead define what 50/50 looks like- school pick ups, drop offs, 3 -4 nights a week having done school pick up or support care pick up- basically on his days you won’t be collecting children. He doesn’t just get to receive them at 8pm and call it his day.

You need to talk to a solicitor asap, I reckon he’s playing nice to blindside you (or maybe that’s me being cynical?)
The car should be at the house that the child resides with the primary carer. If you can’t drive, the car is no longer required. You can get extra money for transport instead, I believe. If you let him register the car at his new address, they may assume he’s the primary carer and all associated benefits will go to him.
Have you checked on the CMS calculator? Play around with different percentages as he may well still have to pay some maintenance.

The mobility car goes back so you have the funds to use public transport/taxi etc.

If you go 50/50 on CB ensure you keep it for the child receiving DLA as you are their primary cater.

If it’s 60:40 for one of the DC then you can claim for CMS. Make sure he doesn’t do equal nights with you still doing the bulk of the caring.

Surely he needs to have both DC on a schedule that allows you to work part time? Perhaps you could try and get an evening and/or weekend day position. If he won’t commit to having the DC to enable this then he isn’t committing to 50:50 is he.

Should be paying around £400 a month at 3 /7 nights

Your ex is trying to financially screw you over. You NEED a really good solicitor to sort out fair financials. You've been a SAHM and have not been able to earn income in that time. Please do not agree anything with him until you've had good legal advice.

ETA: "He keeps saying “as long as we don’t screw each other over” everything will be ok." That's a classic line said by men who plan to screw over their soon to be ex wives.

So I am no expert, and I did a quick Google to see if what i had heard was correct...
If you have 50/50, ex can claim child benefit for one of those kids. If he was awarded it for your child who needs care, then he could appeal the DLA that you get, and because DLA would have to make a decision one element of that decision is who does the child spend the most time with and who receives Child Benefit for that child. The same for Universal Credit, it would impact your claim for any other benefits too.
Just throwing this in to make you aware. Like i said i coukd be wrong, so worth having a proper conversation with a professional like citizens advice. Someone I loosely knew had something similar but it never got that far in the end.

I would tell him that actually you'd like EOW as you want to get back into work, and he'll need to arrange his job around the DC as main carer.

Sounds like he’s going to say 50:50 to get it to suit him but I bet in reality it’s never 50:50 at all. Get the 60:40 or 70:30 agreed in writing at mediation

That's an incredibly grey area if your ex was using the mobility car for work and your child was using public transport. You would be much better off handing the car back and clarifying the mobility money.

£47k isn't a high earner. I earn more than that part time. £450 pm sounds very high for that salary. Was that based on 60/40?

As pps have said, you definately need to see a solicitor - your husband is looking for 50/50 on paper so he can avoid paying you any child maintenance and keep the car - he'd have a claim for all benefits too. He can't look after your child if he's working long shifts, so the agreement needs to reflect this.

The car is for your son's mobility needs, not your husbands to get to work.

£47k isn’t a high earner. Average salary for a man 40-49 in UK is £42k.

Logically whoever has DC needs the car, so the sensible thing would be to have 1 normal car which you are both insured on, and switch the mobility car at handover for the regular car. So whoever has DC has the mobility car and the regular car goes to the parent who doesn't have the DC.

£47k isn't such a high earner that he will be able to fund his own household and then a big chunk of yours; I'm not sure how realistic your expectations are here.

£47k isn't a high earner though, by any stretch. Especially not to support 2 households

See a solicitor, he is trying to screw you. Car should go back, and you get the payment, in order to help with the mobility of your son.

I think that may be stretched if you're no longer in the same household

Why is he asking for 50/50 then if there is no way he could be the primary carer and you will always do more? If you have it in writing that it is 50/50 he could argue he is the primary carer. If he can't do 50/50, don't agree to 50/50.