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Original poster

“Paedophile hunters”

239 replies

Yellowdaffodilss · 28/05/2025 20:32

I remember quite a few years ago now, these paedophile hunter’s started appearing on social media. Videos of them meeting people who had been talking to what they believed were underage children. I remember thinking , oh wow they’re out there protecting our children. Maybe a naive view , I don’t know.

But now , more and more , I see it becoming a regular thing and I am seeing time and time again that the so called predators they catch ( not all the time, there are times that they are grown adults knowing what they’re doing ) are very clearly people with additional needs / autism. I find it disturbing to watch - I have seen young adults panicking and not really knowing what they’re doing or the implications . It’s clear that the messages in the videos I have seen are between the “ culprit” and an ‘underage child’ discussing meeting up , when yes they have been clear they are underage but it is also clear that it has not been sexual talk and these people are not understanding that what they are doing is wrong.

I remember years ago my sister and her friend talking to a lad of around 19. My sister and her friend were chatting and asking if the lad liked the friend and he was inviting them around to his house for a sleepover and to watch movies. ( my sister told my mom as she was worried ) I went through all the messages and could see it was not sexual . This lad thought they were friends . I looked at his profile and he was clearly autistic and his emotional and mental age was probably the same as my sister and her friend. I spoke to his mother who was so thankful that I messaged and confirmed he was quite severely autistic.

My son is autistic and always been drawn to girls as friends rather than boys . He also always gets on with those younger because he is on their level more. He wouldn’t even know how to talk sexually - he’s got a very limited understanding. I can’t stop him having a phone , he’s now 18 . Luckily I’m very aware and have spoken to him about this and keep tabs on him but it’s very hard. This kind of thing really worries me.

It makes me think whether these groups are doing more harm than good. They’re outing people publicly , and for those who are vulnerable with no understanding then it could do so much harm. I get that parents should be monitoring phone use but quite frankly not all parents do.

I do also wonder - can charges be made if there is no ‘real’ victim - it’s an adult they’re talking to … I guess it could get the culprits investigated more and maybe find out more things but other than that is it not just vigilante behaviour? And also , is their real good intention there from all of them or is it a case of getting social media famous ? Could it even be that they target those who they can see are more vulnerable as it will be an easy ‘catch’ ?

OP posts:
Original poster
Yellowdaffodilss · 28/05/2025 21:36

YouWillFindMeInTheGarden · 28/05/2025 21:30

Op of it gets to the point they are turning up to meet the sex offender in person then it’s very likely they have a lot of evidence from previous chats and texts.

time to put away your rose tinted glasses, plenty of SN/Autustic adults get custodial sentences for this.

Edited

The video I saw of a clearly autistic individual had all the chats discussed and displayed - there was nothing sexual . The “ child” had said their age and asked the young man his and he had replied , he had not pretended to be younger. The “child” had asked about a sleepover and the young person had suggested the cinema and talked about films to see. The hunters actually used this against him - the fact it was a child’s film he suggested - as though he was grooming the “child” when it was obvious to see that actually this young person probably really did want ti see this film as they were clearly emotionally and mentally younger.

It was absolutely disgusting and this young person was so overwhelmed , confused and downright petrified . I dread to think the damage it has caused him.

OP posts:
YouWillFindMeInTheGarden · 28/05/2025 21:34

Op do you monitor your adult son’s phone? See it all?

x2boys · 28/05/2025 21:34

Yellowdaffodilss · 28/05/2025 21:31

investigated yes , by professionals - not random people with a camera in their face traumatising them.

it is not creepy for someone with sn to think it’s ok to be friends and with a child - I mean that it doesn’t mean the individual is creepy. There are a lot of social groups for autistic people with a very wide age range - my son himself has friends who are girls and are 2 years younger than him. We made these friends when he was younger and are friends with the families . Had I not educated him then he may not have reason to think there is anything wrong because he would not understand why not when he already has them and he is not at a stage to think about relationships or sex. It would not make him creepy . What it would mean is he had been failed by those around him who haven’t educated him and have allowed him the means to form online friendships with underage children.

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I also have an autistic son and yes some groups can have kids with a wide range of ages but I don't think two years is much at all

Original poster
Yellowdaffodilss · 28/05/2025 21:31

UndermyShoeJoe · 28/05/2025 21:18

Lots of these groups have actually caught out and help put away or at least make the police have them on their radar quite a few people.

If an adult is trying to form relationship’s with a child they need checking out NT or not.

You don’t know who’s “innocently” wanting a friend and who’s a sexual predator and honestly a grown adult wanting to go out to find friends of 13 / 14 year old is creepy regardless.

investigated yes , by professionals - not random people with a camera in their face traumatising them.

it is not creepy for someone with sn to think it’s ok to be friends and with a child - I mean that it doesn’t mean the individual is creepy. There are a lot of social groups for autistic people with a very wide age range - my son himself has friends who are girls and are 2 years younger than him. We made these friends when he was younger and are friends with the families . Had I not educated him then he may not have reason to think there is anything wrong because he would not understand why not when he already has them and he is not at a stage to think about relationships or sex. It would not make him creepy . What it would mean is he had been failed by those around him who haven’t educated him and have allowed him the means to form online friendships with underage children.

OP posts:
x2boys · 28/05/2025 21:31

If they genuinely want to help catch paedophiles why film it and stream etc,
Everybody is entitled to a fair trial and streaming " the arrest" for all to see could do more harm than good
I also wonder how many of these hunters are actually paedophile themselves hiding behind vigilantism, within plain sight etc.

YouWillFindMeInTheGarden · 28/05/2025 21:30

Op of it gets to the point they are turning up to meet the sex offender in person then it’s very likely they have a lot of evidence from previous chats and texts.

time to put away your rose tinted glasses, plenty of SN/Autustic adults get custodial sentences for this.

OhNoTheBridgeIsDown · 28/05/2025 21:29

Yellowdaffodilss · 28/05/2025 21:17

I get this but it depends what that talk was …

was it “ I have a fantasy to sleep with a 12 year old “ or “ I like to be called daddy “ - big difference

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In the case of the family “friend” no one was given any details until it came out in the news once convicted, and even then details were scarce.

So up until his second conviction many people were convinced he’d been the innocent victim of a stinger attack.

Any man having any relationship, fantasy or otherwise, with a child online is a predator. If the police were doing their jobs there’d be no room for vigilantes to do it for them - not saying I agree with them or think they’re great people, but they are catching paedophiles who would otherwise continue predating on children.

DonnaBanana · 28/05/2025 21:29

All the ones I’ve seen have read back actual messages sent between the person and the decoy and quite often pictures they’ve sent of their willies and so forth, even if the other person is just having some fun or has mental problems they still believe they’re having dirty conversations or sending inappropriate pictures to children so I find it a bit worrying some of you think this should be hidden away! Being autistic or having developmental disorders does not make someone talk sexually to children BTW

Original poster
Yellowdaffodilss · 28/05/2025 21:27

UndermyShoeJoe · 28/05/2025 21:20

How would those two get confused at all.

Call me daddy vs the other thing are two completely different types of chat.

Either way however wanting a child that’s not your child to call you daddy creepy. And the other thing abhorrent.

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I don’t but I am assuming that the poster did not mean anything like “ I want to sleep with a 12 year old “ because that is illegal and they said it wasn’t.

Wanting a child to call you daddy is obviously wrong but what I mean is was it something like that but with a consenting adult but the comment was taken wrong as call me daddy implies talking to a child. Lots of men like to be called daddy by sexual partners. Not my thing to be honest , but it is a thing and I don’t think it implies paedophillia

OP posts:
Zanatdy · 28/05/2025 21:23

Agreed, completely detest these groups as they are not just doing it to try and protect children, always self interest there. They make me very uncomfortable and I do not watch them these days.

UndermyShoeJoe · 28/05/2025 21:20

Yellowdaffodilss · 28/05/2025 21:17

I get this but it depends what that talk was …

was it “ I have a fantasy to sleep with a 12 year old “ or “ I like to be called daddy “ - big difference

Show quote history

How would those two get confused at all.

Call me daddy vs the other thing are two completely different types of chat.

Either way however wanting a child that’s not your child to call you daddy creepy. And the other thing abhorrent.

VeryQuaintIrene · 28/05/2025 21:18

OhNoTheBridgeIsDown · 28/05/2025 21:12

This was considered the case for my family friend. The first time he was put away many people were upset because it was “only” a fantasy about sleeping with a 12 year old child.

Any man happy to fantasise online about a sexual relationship with a child is a predator. I cannot see this any other way.

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Slightly different in my friend's case - it wasn't a 12 year old, either in fact or fiction!

UndermyShoeJoe · 28/05/2025 21:18

Lots of these groups have actually caught out and help put away or at least make the police have them on their radar quite a few people.

If an adult is trying to form relationship’s with a child they need checking out NT or not.

You don’t know who’s “innocently” wanting a friend and who’s a sexual predator and honestly a grown adult wanting to go out to find friends of 13 / 14 year old is creepy regardless.

Original poster
Yellowdaffodilss · 28/05/2025 21:17

OhNoTheBridgeIsDown · 28/05/2025 21:12

This was considered the case for my family friend. The first time he was put away many people were upset because it was “only” a fantasy about sleeping with a 12 year old child.

Any man happy to fantasise online about a sexual relationship with a child is a predator. I cannot see this any other way.

Show quote history

I get this but it depends what that talk was …

was it “ I have a fantasy to sleep with a 12 year old “ or “ I like to be called daddy “ - big difference

OP posts:
Original poster
Yellowdaffodilss · 28/05/2025 21:16

UsernameMcUsername · 28/05/2025 21:10

I don't think these people really care about children. If they did, they could just collect evidence, pass it to the police and let them take it forward. Which would be absolutely fine. Instead they'll turn up on doorsteps livestreaming, which puts innocent family members - including children - at risk, with absolutely no warning. I think some people just enjoy having power and inflicting humiliation, and are using protecting children as a cover to create nasty click bait. And I have no idea why people would want this stuff- it must be the same impulse which makes some people slow down to look at car crashes.

I really agree with this. Pass the evidence of the conversation to the police.

Not only that but by publicly streaming this it is going to make the real predators less likely to chat to underage people online ( ok that sounds good ) but instead they could do it through grooming - actually being in contact with underage children , befriending families etc … a way that is a lot less obvious and harder to prove and usually by the time it gets to a physical assault the victim is brainwashed and doesn’t believe they are being abused so harder to get away from.

If these traps were passed to the police at the point of conversation it wouldn’t be public knowledge - no paedophile is going to announce “ be careful fellow perverts , people are pretending to be children to lure us “ so surely that would be more effective , but no they crave the audience and the views .

OP posts:
OhNoTheBridgeIsDown · 28/05/2025 21:12

VeryQuaintIrene · 28/05/2025 21:09

They ruined my friend's life for some unwise but not illegal sexual fantasy talk. He isn't a paedophile or convicted of anything but lost his job anyway because of the scandal caused to the university.

This was considered the case for my family friend. The first time he was put away many people were upset because it was “only” a fantasy about sleeping with a 12 year old child.

Any man happy to fantasise online about a sexual relationship with a child is a predator. I cannot see this any other way.

UsernameMcUsername · 28/05/2025 21:10

I don't think these people really care about children. If they did, they could just collect evidence, pass it to the police and let them take it forward. Which would be absolutely fine. Instead they'll turn up on doorsteps livestreaming, which puts innocent family members - including children - at risk, with absolutely no warning. I think some people just enjoy having power and inflicting humiliation, and are using protecting children as a cover to create nasty click bait. And I have no idea why people would want this stuff- it must be the same impulse which makes some people slow down to look at car crashes.

VeryQuaintIrene · 28/05/2025 21:09

They ruined my friend's life for some unwise but not illegal sexual fantasy talk. He isn't a paedophile or convicted of anything but lost his job anyway because of the scandal caused to the university.

EnjoythemoneyJane · 28/05/2025 21:09

Any group that effectively puts paedophiles away (preferably without a key) is fine by me.

But I’m not sure these ‘hunters’ are that. They’re often thick-as-shit self-publicists and aggro merchants who are more interested in the reflected glory of their righteous crusade than actually amassing legally enforceable evidence.

IIRC a lynch mob massed outside the house of a paediatrician during one child murder investigation, and defaced his property, which is a salutary lesson in the flaws of vigilante justice meted out by the indignant ignorant.

Original poster
Yellowdaffodilss · 28/05/2025 21:07

ThejoyofNC · 28/05/2025 21:05

I'm pretty confused by your post OP. Do you think we should give predatory behaviour a pass if the person is ND?

If it’s predatory behavior - talking about a relationship , being inappropriate- then no. Being autistic does not mean you also cannot be a paedophile. But there needs to be more awareness and trepidation.

OP posts:
Original poster
Yellowdaffodilss · 28/05/2025 21:06

OhNoTheBridgeIsDown · 28/05/2025 21:04

I agree this is awful, but I still don’t think adult/child relationships like this are appropriate in any way, whether the adult is autistic or not.

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No they are not , you’re right. But the autistic individual may not understand that. Most parents are on top of this , but there are some that don’t have anyone looking out for them like that and they are left to their own devices with no guidance

OP posts:
ThejoyofNC · 28/05/2025 21:05

I'm pretty confused by your post OP. Do you think we should give predatory behaviour a pass if the person is ND?

Original poster
Yellowdaffodilss · 28/05/2025 21:05

YouWillFindMeInTheGarden · 28/05/2025 20:53

And don’t forget, the police themselves set these ‘traps’

not a bad idea, traps them and sends them to custody with no child victim to pat the price. SN or not….a child is saved from god knows what

Hmm … I get the general jist of what you mean but when you say “ SN or not a child is saved from god knows what” what do you mean by that? Because it’s likely when it’s someone with SN that a child would never be in harm - this person thinks they have a friend and has no sinister motive but just simply doesn’t understand that a child should not be friends with an adult and in that case you have a person with SN traumatised. I don’t see how a child is saved there ?

But , I do reiterate - the parents of these individuals need to really be monitoring who they are talking to etc and talking about that. I had to have this conversation with my son - he does chat on social media , he posts about games etc and he has comments / messages - quite recently someone messaged him and commented on the game and they had a bit id a chat and he said “ how old are you ? “ and they said they were 15 ( no idea of gender they didn’t discuss it was just about the game ) and he just said “ sorry I am 18 “ blocked them and came and told me - I then had the chat again about not talking in private messages and not really chatting to strangers .

OP posts:
OhNoTheBridgeIsDown · 28/05/2025 21:04

Yellowdaffodilss · 28/05/2025 20:59

It’s just awful. I saw one recently and a young boy was crying - he was quite obviously stimming - and he actually was answering so specific like they were saying how old are you and how old is she and he was answering with facts just like someone with autism would. It was heartbreaking and anyone with half a brain cell would be able to see that he was vulnerable and I just thought you actually are scum to do this .

I agree this is awful, but I still don’t think adult/child relationships like this are appropriate in any way, whether the adult is autistic or not.

OhNoTheBridgeIsDown · 28/05/2025 21:03

Vigilantes caught a ex family friend. He denied everything, of course, but there was enough evidence on his computer to convict him.

He did time in prison, then was caught again (by the same vigilantes) not long after getting out. He’s back in prison.

Another man I know was targeted by them, there wasn’t enough evidence to convict, but the police kept an eye on him and he was arrested and jailed a few months later.

I’ve personally only seen accurate results from these groups, and given that they’ve caught two local men who otherwise would carry on with their paedophile antics I think parents of SN adults (and I include myself here) should be very careful to teach their dc that adult relationships with younger children are not appropriate (more from a safeguarding view for the child) or to help them find friendships that wouldn’t run the risk of them looking like paedophiles.