“Paedophile hunters”

He was 19 when it happened. Not ideal, perhaps, but hardly shocking and certainly not pedophilic. I was 15 when I lost my virginity to a 19 year old, there was nothing creepy or wrong about it at all.

@Yellowdaffodilss I'm not sure why quite a few PP have missed the point of your post as I think you've been very clear in the type of circumstances you're talking about. I just wanted to say I've not really watched any of these videos although I am aware of them and I haven't really given it much thought before I read your post.

I have a 5yr old DS who has SN and whilst obviously he is far too young to be chatting to anyone on social media it has made me aware of the need to educate him specifically about how innocent conversations with underage people could be interpreted when he does become of the age where he could be chatting online so thank you.

I'll also be ensuring I have the conversation with my friend who has a 16yr old DC who is very innocent and spends a lot of time chatting online to others (pretty much unmonitored I believe) to make sure she talks to him, as he would be exactly like the person you've described in the video you saw, delighted to make a new friend and has no idea about sex or sexual conversations and would be devastated if he was targeted by these wannabe vigilantes

Young people lie about their age. The onus is on the ‘of age’ person in that relationship to verify they are 100 percent telling the truth before they engage in any form of sexually activity.

Anyone who does not have ‘ capacity’ to understand that should not have access to social media where they can meet people and then behave inappropriately or illegally in some cases.

Well no they won't be sending a person with the mind of a two year old too prison will they ,he can't talk at all only Has the very basic understanding of the world around him ,he certainly won't be able to send sexually ,explicit messages or have any understanding of what ,it means he can just about trace a few letters of his name and indenify numbers 1-3 ,this isn't going to change .
As an adolescent SW I would thought you should have at least a basic idea that disabilities can range from mild to profound.

I agree. They don’t think of the connotations of putting it out online. Your son will likely have to change his name by deed poll.

To add, my son is 14. I’d say he was around 4 years behind in development. He prefers friendships with younger kids as he can cope with that. He can’t cope or keep up with kids of his own age. I am aware he still has feelings of a pubescent teen and I worry about that obviously!

This is why I think they should ask for ID for dating/ chat sites.

I worded this really badly. I’ve had some midweek alcohol because I don’t have to work tomorrow. Not the media. I am angry at how easy it is for strangers to interact online with absolutely nothing to prevent it. My friends son thought he had a “girlfriend” online and did things he shouldn’t have done or certainly didn’t understand he shouldn’t have done. The other person lied about her age and presented as several years older. He is autistic and quite badly affected with social interaction being a massive problem. Found confidence online. Paid a huge price that will affect him forever and he doesn’t get it at all. He will never have a job, he will never live independently. The access to SM and the ease at which this can happen with lonely and sexually frustrated teens. Not excusing it. As I said I have an AuDHD teen myself who I watch like a hawk because I can see this happening to him.

I work in this area and we are so busy. It is relentless.
Identifying the suspect is reasonably straightforward. Doing it all according to law and getting convictions takes time.

But if he behaved inappropriately towards a younger child the effect on them would be the same regardless of his capacity for understanding.
So I guess you, like many other parents/carers will need to safeguard him and potentially others, especially once he reaches sexual maturity by making sure does not inadvertently harm a younger child without realising.

Im an Adoscents SW and it is very very common for SEN /ND children to behave very unsafely online, both as victim and perpetrator of grooming and or CSE.
However the parents of said children are the hardest to convince that they need to be kept away from tech and will find any excuse to avoid this or down right ignore our advice
Drives me insane.

At the end of the day ,anyone who has a sexual interest in children needs dealing with. But- not in this way. There will be many of these that will be being monitored by the police through their Internet use/ chatrooms etc. Or the police could be gathering evidence ready to put their door in. The 'evidence' these people record on camera could be inadmissible in court. I know the police are shit at times, but there's an awful lot going on behind the scenes that we are not privy to. Leave them to it.

Not schools, social clubs
Someone else mentioned it upthread too

My issue with a lot of these vigilante types is that they seem to want the attention.

Saying that, there’s also no denying that being SN/ND/what have you doesn’t preclude you from being inappropriate and that’s also a problem. Especially coupled with immaturity.

Neurodivergence does not mean there not a sex drive! Nor does it mean that there is no understanding of what is not appropriate. If your children or young adults fall into the category of not understanding, being on the internet is not for them

Yeah I'm not buying that ,we have four special schools in my LA ,two primary, two secondary,
Teens at the school for kids with moderate to severe learning disabilities, do have relationships ,sometimes with their peers but they are the like in all schools but they are of a similar age and cognitive.

I'm pretty sure I've seen one story where these "hunters" physical attacked a supposed suspect to make him confess and it was the wrong man which is why he kept denying it

And one where they had initially claimed to be an 18 year old, had essentially pushed to get sexual conversation, had then "admitted" to being 14, the person pulled away from contact because they were underage and said to stop contacting him and they still turned up at his house claiming he was a peado

A friend (Well,former friend....... it still hurts) was caught by some of these guys.

They lack nuance, but on the basis of what they exposed with him.... it needed to be done. The police weren't going to get him.

Full sympathy for anyone innocent falsely/incorrectly accused.

My sons biological father was caught by them a few weeks ago. They didn't do a sting so there was no love stream. They informed the police and sent evidence and where to find him and the police arrested him 2 days later.

Although there was no sting they within hours of him being arrested put it on their socials. I absolutely despise him and am disgusted by him BUT these people knew he had a son, his Facebook profile picture was my son and they still posted all over the place and it was shared hundreds and hundreds of times. They had no consideration for my child at all. By all means share it but let the police inform the right agencies to inform his son and safe guard him. He's absolutely ruined my sons life and I'm glad he was caught as no child deserves the things he's sent and the way he's spoken to them but just another 24 hours at most I'd have had the call from social services and I'd have had the chance to get my child's photos removed from Facebook so when people are searching his name and tagging him my kids face wasn't being shared. Not even 24 hours they had to wait but they had no consideration for anyone but themselves and getting likes. There was very minimum contact between my ds and his absolutely vile excuse of a dad but everyone knows and then people.we don't actually know now know and have recognised my ds. All they had to do was wait 24 hours. As much as I appreciate them in someways I've had this side of it and have also seen it done to vulnerable young adults who were unaware of what talking to a child may do even though it wasn't sexually. They have no respect for anyone and I don't expect them to have respect for the actual real predators but families are just as shocked and disgusted and don't need to find out from a Facebook post. And I get it, people deserve to know. So do the families especially their autistic vulnerable teenage sons

Why a 21 year old would want to sleep with a 16 year old anyway I have no idea

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-edinburgh-east-fife-39305042

It was accepted here because multiple witnesses assumed the girl was overage, including police officers who spoke to her about a totally separate issue earlier that night and believed she was older, and a taxi driver who said he thought she was 20!

12 is very young though. I’d have thought this defence more likely if they’re only a couple of months underage.

In reality, I suspect there will never be enough police resources worldwide to keep up with it. Which is why I have always said the onus must be on the parents to monitor what their kids are doing. Bring the online device into the family area. A child of 10 really does not need a phone at all, and removing smart phones from teenagers be all that bad for their all round health anyway.

I don’t think any of them use CSAM. Most get permission from the family of whoever’s photo they are borrowing. Most only recieve pictures of the groomer.

Also, how come these vigilantes have a lot of time to devote to this? Obviously not actively seeking employment 😕

Some ND people have the mental age of a child, they may be older in terms of number for their age but they are on the same level intellectually.

There are groups where a 25 year old and a 14 year old might be together as the 25 year old is delayed

It will come down to capacity and wether they are able yo understand what they have done and why it's wrong
Objectively though If someone is able to seek out underage femle/ males on line and send sexually explicit messages they probably have enough capacity to understand it's wrong.