Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DH to go on 3rd holiday this year at NYE

52 replies

BrummieGinge889 · 28/05/2025 16:08

A tough one, I'd welcome some thoughts. We live abroad, a 13 hour flight from the UK, our choice and so far we have always done lots of traveling back and forth. I have an almost 7 month old son and work full time. DH is currently on holiday, fine, it's a week away planned a long time ago, I have no issue with it. I've just gone back to work from mat leave so I couldn't take the time off.

He's going again in August for a family thing which means another week away. Also fine, no problem with that, the event is not suitable for a 1 year old to tag along.

His friend is getting married on NYE which would mean I would be alone from Boxing Day until 3 Jan, even if DH only goes for a few days (2 days there, 2 days back of travelling). I can't go. The price of the tickets plus hotels for all 3 of us is ridiculous plus our son will be 15 months and he would probably be a nightmare on such a long flight. Not fair on him or anyone really. Childfree wedding anyway.

I had initially said probably fine but was chatting to my mum just now who is saying that's really not ok. He won't have enough leave for a family holiday this year because of these trips which means I will probably not get one as, let's face it, who wants to take a 1 year old on holiday by themselves, I'd rather stay home where I have childcare help and baby has a nice routine.

I will probably go on a weekend away in November with a friend but that's not comparable, is it? And i have no interest in holidaying alone just for the sake of it, I did enough of that when younger.

My mum says I'm underestimating how hard work baby will be at 15 months and how much I'll resent being completely alone with a toddler for the holidays. She thinks it's a recipe for resentment down the line and she said she's seeing him in a whole new light right now for even suggesting it.

It's too expensive for family to visit us then, they will come later in March actually.

I just don't know how I feel about it. If I say no, DH will stay but he will be gutted. But I also don't want to be a martyr and resent it.

OP posts:
BrummieGinge889 · 28/05/2025 16:16

Thanks @BangersAndGnash I genuinely have no problem with the first 2 trips but yeah, going away for NYE is a stretch too far. Don't know why I needed my mum to point it out.

OP posts:
BangersAndGnash · 28/05/2025 16:13

Have a calm serious talk with him.

He is prioritising his holidays with friends and family over holiday time with you and your child, and leaving you, as a working parent, with a lot of solo parenting.

I would rather he realises and chooses of his own accord that it is unfair to disappear for all 3 holidays.

But if not, I would say no, this is Not On.