‘Child-free’ wedding

You’ll always annoy some of your friends and family if you have a child free wedding. If you have one child there, it will annoy them even more.

The bride doesn’t want them there. The fact that you enjoyed weddings as a child is irrelevant.

I hate child free weddings, the cost and stress to guests you say you care about is really unfair and theyre meant to be big family celebrations. Honestly, 10 yr olds do play nintendo, it doesn't mean he's a pita and it shouldn't have stopped you both trying to build a relationship - why doesn't your fiance "really know" their nephew, that's strange. I also think often it's OK to say no to general guests but best man and brother bringing your nephew - bit different and easily explained unless you've nieces and nephews not coming.
Having said allllll that, weddings are the couples choice, and your fiance shouldn't have gone against your plan without discussing first.

Don't do anything, it's done, you can't un invite him without looking like a bridezilla but you're totally reasonable to be annoyed about it.

I was talking from the POV of being the bride not a guest.

I think maybe we agree to disagree on that, weddings have evolved maybe to look more like a day for the bride and groom, but I think within a lot of cultures and subcultures within the UK, it's a public, familial celebration of committing your life together and for me (not saying should be for everyone/just my opinion) that means not excluding children, or for that matter anyone or any specific group. But like I say just an opinion. Honestly at the beginning of this post ai wasn't certain why the OP was set on child free so thought a breadth of opinion might add some fresh ideas/views! Sometimes it's not until someone questions or is upset by a decision that you make that you really interrogate whether it was a good decision.

🙈

Elope? 😂

@Disco2022

because it’s not about what you enjoy. Or what the kids in the family enjoy. A wedding is one day when it’s all about what the bride and groom enjoy and what they want and prefer. And everyone else can suck it up. Because it’s one day - the bride and grooms day!

Have you seen the video of some child (mum had been asked to take him out) screaming all the way through the vows?
Weddings are really dull for anyone at least under 10, unless you are outside or having a barn dance or whatever,

For goodness sake. Of course it isn't rude.

I think that's the point to the Groom it's more important to have his brother and SIL there at the wedding than for it to be child free.

He might have been thinking other Granny would be available but has been told No for whatever reason.

He's made the decision and I think going back on it could easily cause a massive rift.

Because you think that trumps what the actual people who are getting married want. The literal definition of entitled. Thinking what you want trumps everyone else.

So disrespectful of HIM to agree to the child attending when they have agreed child free.

In the end, regardless of what our views are, and I do like to live in a world that has a myriad of people and views, if you don't want kids there at all then stick to that and have the day the way you want it. People will either forgive you and understand or they won't.

Do you know what entitled means? How is it entitled to enjoy the company of my friends and family?

It's your wedding and so your rules. That said, I do think it's a bit rude to not include children of close relatives.

So disrespectful of her to agree to a child attending their wedding, that they both find annoying, because he has been cornered with an ultimatum.

She is paying for the whole wedding and he disrespects her like that?

I'd be rethinking the wedding.

Maybe he could invite some of his mates from
school to keep him company?

@Ifpicklesweretickles

child free weddings are not mean.
Children don’t have to be included in every single thing. It’s fine to have adult only events - you should try them sometime! Have some cocktails and let your hair down!

@Coffeemat

eh? What’s disrespectful of Op?

@Disco2022

thats great for you but op wants a child free wedding so that’s what she’s going to have

You are paying for it!
Really OP.

I'd be rethinking that.
So disrespectful of you.

20 years ago but from what I can remember it was an endless monologue of stories in a voice that carried about.
It just dominated the table, we couldn't hear ourselves.
Someone who knew them said "ok ok take a breathe" with a smile but no shutting her up.

Loud enough and close enough to us that it felt impossible to hold a conversation.
Hugely indulged.
I have never seen the like before or since.
We left the table the minute we had eaten and didn't return.

It was a day out for us without our children which had taken some organising, but it was an old friend of my husband that I liked and we made the effort as a result.

Accept that you cannot exclude family based on age and face zero consequences.

If someone is able not to bring their kid(s) to your 12 hour boredom-fest, they'd leave them at home.

But excluding family and causing them such a huge inconvenience for the privilege of attending your tedious event isn't a great way to start your family life despite what socials tell you.

Well what did you expect, you did such a mean thing. What goes round comes round and bites you on the arse.
Child free, how rude.

Stick to your guns. You'll always piss someone off.

My aunty didn't turn up to my wedding (didn't inform me) because I hadn't invited her sons, my cousin's, but had invited other cousins - I'd not seen her kids in 15years, where as see other cousins regularly. They weren't my only cousins I didn't invite.

I much prefer a child free wedding. My mum insisted I bring my kids to her wedding then got grumpy with me when we left early because both kids cried for ages because they were tired and overstimulated and the music was too loud for them.