Husband keeps having accidents with 15mo

I’m dyspraxic and dyspraxia doesn’t just show up out of the blue. It will have been there and present since childhood. However, what did happen out of the blue was my MS. It was like my dyspraxia had inflated with steroids. Might be worth looking into something else.

I would be curious to see if it is just yourself and DS he has these ‘accidents’ around? Is he like this at work?

If this man has always been accident prone then we can assume he has injured himself several times, done things which had negative consequences for himself, lost jobs because of negligence and not properly concentrating, broken or damaged valuable items that belong to him/are important to him?
Is this the case or do his accidents only cause problems for other people?
Also how upset and remorseful is he when he accidentally hurts his own child?

He could definitely do with having another eye exam then. Very short-sighted are at risk of retinal problems which can reduced their visual field - which can make things more difficult to see in their periphery.

I don’t think men as are careful. When your child is 3/4 it’s much better. I had issues with my DH over safety too at this age. He’s probably tired and it’s making him worse.

whats the sleeping like?

Not sure if it’s helpful, but my husband is like this and has recently been diagnosed with ADHD. He’s generally not very aware of his surroundings. We got a kitten once and he stood on it… It was okay but it would always be him that does something like this. He has tried hard to be more aware of what is going on around him and my children are older now, so it has got easier, but it was a nightmare when they were young.

It’s a lack of care and awareness isn’t it? It doesn’t mean he doesn’t love and care for your child but he doesn’t have that instinct and cautiousness parents develop to check scenarios. It must be really frustrating.

Does he seem to be able to take steps after something has happened? That's what I'd focus on.

I shut the end of Ddogs long long tail in the door the other day and we have both now slipped into a new routine of space and a pause when going through it to ensure it never happens again.

Can he make changes or do the same accidents occur again and again?

Because when you lack proprioception you use more or less force in certain tasks.

Similar to slamming doors instead of closing doors. You use a lot of force that you dont realise you're using.

It is probably the reason the slip happened in the first place.

I agree.

How can slipping when changing gear turn into a punch?

We had these stoppers too, they’re well worth it.

That's fine at home but it's bigger than that. What when he loses sight of your toddler DC on a beach or out at a busy place because his mind wandered for 'just a second'? The potential consequences are disastrous.

OP have you got soft close hinges on your cupboard doors and wardrobes?

If not, they obviously won't solve spacial awareness issues but they do buy time for little fingers to come out of hinges. They're just a mitigating factor. They won't stop fingers being trapped if they're held in there but much less likely to damage fingers than a fast swing or a slam.

Can you put baby gates up or rugs down as a designated visual safe zone for DC to be on, or a seat in every room that DC can be strapped into when people are busy and struggle to divert attention.

I am just offering some possible practical solutions for your child's safety.

The first step to solving a problem is admitting it exists.

Then, whatever his problem is (it is actually irrelevant at this stage), you need to put strategies in place to prevent accidents.

For example

• nothing with a hinge like the wardrobe or dishwasher (or even a sliding door) must ever be closed by him until he has had a look at what's in the hinge or where the door is going to swing.

-he must think about and look where the baby is before he moves and that way he will avoid stepping on the baby

-everything that he uses (such as phone, keys etc) must have a designated place and it is not allowed to be put down anywhere else

-he needs to make sure he does things slowly when dealing with hazardous items such as knives.

Oh no, let’s make a baby responsible for their dad’s behaviour too-it’s not enough to make the OP responsible for her husband’s behaviour is it? Anything to ensure the man does not have his feelings hurt or is expected to alter his behaviour in any way.

Oh I completely agree with you on that point. My point was more relating to the poster that the OP quoted who seems to be determined to make the OP take responsibility for her husband’s behaviour.

I’m extremely clumsy - always falling over, always breaking things, always hurting myself. Sometimes I do accidentally bump into DS or catch him with something but I do go above and beyond every minute to make sure it’s me that gets hurt not him. I weirdly have the reflexes of a ninja so it balances out more or less. So if I was shutting a door what would generally happen is I’d see DS’s fingers in it the same moment I’d let go off the door, and I’d quickly shove my own hand in so it closed on my fingers, not his. If my hand slipped carrying something I would automatically catch it even if it was hot or sharp to avoid it hurting DS. I don’t understand the lack of trying on his part.

Exactly.

Of course it's not all on OP, and it's her DH's responsibility to do something to address the issue. Meanwhile, would you leave your child with someone they weren't safe with? I wouldn't and didn't. That was on me because it had to be.

And OP's DH should be noticing if his child has their fingers in doors and telling/helping them to move them so he can shut the door. That is good parenting. OP's child is only 15 months so at that stage helping them remove their fingers before they get trapped would be wise.

What was he like before when it was just you two?

I don’t think a psychologist would discuss someone else, only how it’s impacting you