Husband keeps having accidents with 15mo

This doesn't address the problem of why this man shows no concern or remorse when he hurts his child or other people.

I would consider the possibility that the OP's husband does hurt himself regularly but unless it needs medical treatment I think you get into the habit of ignoring it. I am so used to cuts and bruises that I'm oblivious to them at this point. It only becomes a 'thing' when it impacts all our lives in the sense that I'm in a plaster cast and can't drive, for example. The everyday bumps and bangs no longer even register.

I too think this thread is crazy OP .., and so is the fact that you don’t/won’t accept any ND ‘labels’, yet also label your dh clumsy 🤔🤷‍♀️
Lets hope your ds does not turn out to be ‘clumsy’ like your dh - he’ll never get help as there’s no point in labels eh? 🤨

But they would hurt themselves. Everyone on this thread who has gone on to say this is normal, have then described how accident prone or people with dyspraxia have hurt themselves. The op said she cannot think of one example of when her dh has hurt himself. Just her and their toddler.

I am hypermobile, under investigation for ADHD, I frequently bump into the edge of things, eg door handles, and frequently fall downstairs. I once fell downstairs holding my cat. That is the closest I‘ve got to hurting someone else.

I am -16 and was pretty myopic even at 2 or 3. When younger and very slim, I constantly had bruised hip bones as cannot judge corners
as I walk.

Yes the op is in denial and defaulting to 'shoot the messenger' mode.
I don't think we should berate her for this, it's shocking and upsetting and hard to face up to the fact that your partner doesn't care about the well-being of your precious infant.

OP, I’m glad your opinion has changed a bit here about how it can be useful to think about conditions as that can help us find the right solutions. Also this thread has blown my mind - I never close kitchen cupboards as I use them because I associate it with hurt. And used to bang myself on cupboards. I thought it was a sensory coping mechanism but I bet it’s a physical/clumsiness one.

Lots of us grew up before everything was diagnosed and made our coping mechanisms as we went. I think those coping mechanisms get really disrupted by becoming parents and your DH needs new ones! My DH needed new ones for his now Dx ADHD. I’ve had to learn how to put things away safely and shut and lock cupboard doors

But OP said he doesn’t have dyspraxia? Apparently just clumsy 🤷🏻‍♀️

Althought he curiously he doesn’t seem to hurt or damage himself at all

newmumabouttown · Today 12:53
I can’t think of any accidents for himself, it’s not about him hurting himself, it’s the fact I believe he doesn’t pay attention, so allows a baby to hurt themself or doesn’t realise where his limbs are in relation to me.

Well said.
This is just another selfish arrogant man who cares only about himself and his own well-being.
Women are subordinates who don't matter, children are a problem for women to deal with and he shouldn't have to be squandering any of his precious attention or effort on their account.

Is he any better in an automatic car? Maybe you could suggest he takes a driver refresher course or a defensive driver course. He might be open it to it if you suggest it as a way to polish up his skills or something like that. Having feedback on his driving from a neutral third party might be really helpful. You could perhaps suggest that you do a course too after he’s done his so he doesn’t feel targeted.

Yeah…. You keep telling yourself that OP…

99% of the time myopia is developmental, they don't (usually) start off very myopic, it develops over a period of time. That's why myopia control has really taken off.

Although, longsightedness occurs much earlier and is often concurrent with muscle imbalances which can impair 3D vision.

The fact he is only "accident-prone" in regard to others suggests at the very least a remarkable lack of care for and awareness of others. Most accident-prone people hurt themselves accidentally, and not others.

He sounds very like my husband. There's no intent to hurt anyone but he's forever bumping into things, tripping, mistepping on the stairs and ending up in a heap, I don't even want to go into the number of times he's banged and cut his head on the car boot/bonnet, kitchen cupboard doors that he's left open, walked into walls. He's always bumping into us, standing on toes, falling over the dog who's 40kg and not easy to miss!! It's a bit of a standing joke in our house to be honest. His spacial awareness isn't great and driving is safe but judging distances and parking are another story.

When our children were younger, everywhere was baby proofed, especially doors which all had the stoppers on them to prevent trapped fingers. After reading your posts, I'm glad I did this as it probably prevented a lot of accidents for my husband as much as the children!

Good luck, it's natural for him not to notice particularly because it's probably the way he's always been, it'll be very new to him to have to look at the world in a completely different way now he's a dad.

The fact he is not having accidents himself, and not hurting himself is rather telling. I would boot him to Mars, myself. That poor little baby.

@Cheesyfootballs01
I once heard someone with dyspraxia describe how they could not sit on a chair safety. They had to somehow wedge themselves in or they would invariably topple off.

Were they lying too?

Your normal is not everyone’s normal.

I don’t think this has any scientific research behind it but I think people with severe myopia never kind of ‘catch up’ visually and spatially even when they get glasses. It’s like the period that they were babies and toddlers with bad, undiagnosed eyesight affects them even after the vision is corrected. That’s my hunch anyhow.

Either you are lying about what had happened or you are minimising his behaviour.

Because everything you describe is not normal

I don’t know why people are determined to read malicious intent into occurrences that OP has been very clear were accidents?

A skip changing gear is one thing but punching you is a whole different ballgame!!

To punch you his hand would need to be clenched and it it VERY difficult to change gear like that - also, who changed gear either that much force??

I have dyspraxia regularly hurt myslef walk into stuff misjudge distances and it's worse when I'm tired but my kids were never injured by me while in my care.

DS got injured once in DH care around a door - and few times in IL - door and burn on their wood bruner - as they just didn't do supervison and care like I did.

Only other reason I know are eye sight going and person not being aware - but if he had regular check up not that.

I'm not sure you can make someone pay attention - I've tried with IL - what tends to happen is you have to supervise young kids round them and be alert always- and teach kids the dangers to avoid over time.

Moms with curly haired kids, what do u do with their hair?
My 4 year old Jensen has very curly hair. I try different ways everyday, but none of them work. His hair always ends up tangled. What do u do if your kid has curls?