Husband keeps having accidents with 15mo

@RickiRaccoon I really have to disagree with this. Trapping fingers in doors (dishwashers and drawers) twice in quick succession is not something that should be glossed over for "the toddler years". The child is being hurt. Repeatedly. This is not "spilling wine" territory. A child could be permanently injured.

I am very accident prone. All my life i have hurt myself in various ways and broken various objects. I have a random bruise on my body at any given time. I just don't pay enough attention to my surroundings.

I have a 9 month old who is crawling and almost walking. I am on high alert, always. I know what I am like and I know that my son's safety is the most important thing. I have actually caught his finger in a hinge once when we were playing but that's it.

Your husband just doesn't care enough about his son. That is the truth.

Could he have a problem with depth perception if he’s a glasses wearer? Maybe an eye test?

This was my instant thought too. My 15 year old has dyspraxia and he is labelled as clumsy. Also, very accident prone.

The OP hasn't actually said he doesn't show any remorse or doesn't care. Only that she feels he doesn't because she doesn't think he's making efforts to change. Without knowing why it's happening - which the OP also doesn't seem keen to explore - it's not really possible to know how the hapless husband is feeling. My guess, based upon the OP admitting she loses her temper with him, is that he feels attacked, which is never a good starting point for solving a problem.

Really?
it’s literally a condition that affects balance, coordination and motor skills.
symptoms n1. Clumsiness.

Just because there are other symptoms, doesn’t mean you need to have them.

Secondly, unless this started a few months ago, this is much more likely to be a medical condition.
Certain life changes or situations can emphasise symptoms of conditions we’ve always had but we masked/learned to cope with.

What won't help is your absolute denial that he may have a condition that is completely diagnosable and manageable. Sometimes, understanding what something is, and having a word for it, is helpful.

Oh definitely to not show any remorse or concern! I must've missed that bit! In that case either in denial about eyesight to a psychopathic level, or malicious and I would document everything and plan to split

"let’s not label people, even if we do, what does it matter?"

It matters because immediately after saying this, you go on to say he doesn't "care" enough and you want him to change this.

If he has dyspraxia/ ADHD/ Neurodivergence of another kind, this is not about him not caring, it's about the way his brain works, and there is a lot of support available. But only if you are actually open to the possibility and exploring it.

Surely it's malicious to not show any concern or remorse when you have injured a baby?

I haven't read everyone else's posts, so sorry if this has already been mentioned, but has he considered what might happen if these incidents keep happening and either nursery or school or medical professionals end up reporting you to social services? He doesn't seem to be taking this as seriously as you are.

I personally wouldn't assume it's malicious even though it's mainly accidents with you or other people. When were his eyes last tested? Can he go to a different or more expensive opticians for a second opinion? My feeling is that maybe he knows where his body is (so is not e.g. trapping his own fingers) but can't see very well so small things like baby fingers or things on the floor are a problem.

Eyesight can deteriorate without the person really noticing or they can be in denial about it. I've known a couple of people who have dusty/dirty houses but don't realise because their eyesight has deteriorated and literally can't see it. But they don't know what they can't see. And as they've worn glasses for years they think the glasses are giving them good vision because they can't remember what it's like to actually have good vision

This. I spent a lot of very sad time feeling I was useless and pathetic until I got my 'labels' and could understand what was going on and find ways to help myself.

Getting a diagnosis of a condition isn't just "labeling", OP. People don't go through grueling processes of assessment and diagnosis for things like ADHD just to "get a label" and then be let off the hook for everything they ever do wrong.

Getting a diagnosis means you can access proper support and treatment (notwithstanding dismal state of affairs for disabled people and their support right now, but that's another conversation), try out different techniques in a focused and methodical way, and find peer support and understanding, as well as being able to understand yourself. The way you talk about ADHD, dyspraxia and "labels" is ignorant.

Providing there is no underlying cause-This would fucking infuriate me. Not only that but the scream a child does when they hurt themselves I’d feel awful and want to try my hardest not to make that happen again. He’s just being careless. He needs to be more aware it’s pathetic.

I'd say that's easy done to be fair, especially in a small space.

Dh and kids see me walk into things or see bruises or scrapes and ask how I got them and I often don't know.

So while I don't mention all the bumps and mishaps they are vaugely aware of them and care enough if asked would know it was an issue for me.

True, but to be fair the OP says she has more often than not lost her temper and shouted at him. He could double down and be stubborn about it - which I'm not saying is the right thing to do! Given the OP's reluctance to explore any genuine medical reason behind this there's every chance he feels the same and just feels attacked and goes on the defensive. If he knows he's really not doing it on purpose then he won't see any way he can avoid it. They both need to handle this differently.

Is your husband worried about it? What is his reactions to accidentally hurting your son?

Some people are saying you should fit safety closers to your cupboard doors, etc. I would say your husband should be doing this - he needs to do the work to find a solution to his problem

But would the OP know if he had hurt himself (or registered it)? It’s not like I tell my DH every time I walk into a door or stub my toe. Hell, sometimes I don’t even register it (and wonder where the bruise came from this time). He probably remembers the time I smacked the car door into my head, but other than that I’ve never injured myself in a way that’s memorable.