Husband keeps having accidents with 15mo

The fact that he doesn’t seem to want to do anything about it surely indicates that he doesn’t think it’s a problem and more importantly doesn't care. This would worry me. He’s not listening to and taking on board your concerns. A normal person who ‘accidentally’ keeps hurting their child would be very worried about this because something very bad could happen. They would be determined to be extra careful and tell you so.

The thing that stands out for me however is the fact he ‘accidentally’ hit/caught you twice after your operation. Sorry OP but that sounds very off. He doesn’t sound very nice at all and someone who is ‘loving’ does not do these things.

'Punching' seems a lot more forceful than that. I know what you mean and that's happened to me but that's a slip of the hand. I'd never describe it as a 'punch'

closing doors on a child’s hand is not dyspraxic that’s inattentive.

tripping and slipping his hand on the gear stick may be dyspraxia but that’s not all this is.

All these accidents sound quite minor OP. I hope you dont think I'm being flippant but minor bangs and slips dont actually do any harm. I have a family member who's like this and they are constantly hitting me and the rest of us by mistake, falling off things, always covered in bruises. I genuinely think some people are just clumsy. Yes it bothers me because I worry about their safety. But I dont think its sinister.
Is there anything else about your husband that makes you think it might be sinister?

Would he consider trying to put in steps to avoid accidents- poss look at increasing awareness of risk assessment and mindfulness - these things can be learned eg how we teach a child to cross the road or how we learn to drive.

This

I've had it where my hand slipped off the gearstick and hit my husband's leg, doesn't seem that implausible to me?? My husband leg was resting next to the gear stick 🤷🏻‍♀️

What have you done to address it? Have you discussed it with your GP?

Personally I would write it all down with dates and the accident as fact not emotional. And then send it to him in a message and say look it’s not just here and there it’s regularly. This isn’t okay for our son, what plan are we going to come up with for you to stop daydreaming and hurting our son

If you think adhd is an overused term 🙄 you’ve not got much chance here really.

Does he do this to other people? Does it happen at work? With his friends? With his parents?

Does he accidentally hurt himself?
Or just his wife and dc?

This. How do you 'punch someone in the leg' when changing gear? How does a car layout even allow for that?

Does he apologise? Does he hurt himself ever or damage his own stuff?

Presumably he manages a level of physical control and precision when playing as a goalkeeper?

I don't know how you can accidentally punch your passenger in the leg while driving.

Only you can know if he's genuinely remorseful for all these injuries to you and your DC. If he is, I would expect him to be making steps to reduce the risk: ie have his eyesight tested again, hearing tested, even paying for a health MOT to check if there's any other reason he keeps harming you both.

This is actually quite sad. I’m very clumsy and accident prone, I fell over walking the DC to school recently! I’ve trapped their fingers in doors, trod on their feet and various other things, and it isn’t because I’m not paying attention to them or myself it’s genuinely out of my control! I’m always sorry and feel terrible but if I could stop it I would!

My DH is QUITE clumsy. It was a bit of a joke in his family. He spills A LOT of tea and wine. I think it's because he doesn't have much concept of the physical world (he doesn't get DIY and can't visualise solutions to things) and he doesn't think ahead (he will always put a wine right in front of where he's reaching and I will move it).

It was more of an issue for us with the 12m to 20m age when the kids are oblivious and an unaware adult just adds to the danger/ chaos. The worst that happened for us m was DH was carrying something and our 20mo got in front of him and his knee bumped him into a cabinet and he split his lip open. DH did get a bit better as he got used to having small kids around. I would honestly just try and get through the early toddler stage with lots of "be careful"s.

If his sister is like it too then there’s nothing sinister about it - they’ll be something causing it.

his denial might be embarrassment. Either way he needs to be more aware of his surroundings and where he and dc are within the environment. I would reiterate that you’re not ‘nit picking’ but you are genuinely concerned that he’s going to really hurt himself or dc. encourage him to slow down.

I read this thinking oh, this sounds familiar! Except it’s my 6yo who’s pretty accident prone (to himself, but has stepped on the 1yo before or caught some fingers) he does really need to lean to look down and around to be sure where DS is - this is something I’m teaching my 6yo to be more aware of for his brothers (and himself!). You’d think after he’d injured him the first couple of times he would be more self aware.

It feels like there’s something actually quite sinister behind this.

He hurts you and his child regularly. Seemingly ‘accidentally’.

Hitting you in your surgical wound when collecting you from hospital? Punching you while changing gear? This cannot be accidental.

The fundamental issue isn’t whether it is dyspraxia, strategic incompetence, being accident prone or whatever.

The problem is that he doesn’t care, doesn’t seem upset or guilty about hurting or endangering his child - and he refuses to see a doctor or take any steps at all to ensure he stops having these ‘accidents’.

His sister is similar as well, always breaking and losing things

Hmmm.

I wouldnt assume hes doing it on purpose like some PPs, but similarly as he keeps happening he needs to figure out ways to mitigate the risk. He likely can't change how he is, but could change the environment and his decisions ie better make a conscious effort to check DS isnt nearby if I'm opening this, keeping floorspace tidy so easier to navigate etc.

Does he hurt himself a lot too?