Denying my neurodiversity

People with autism, especially women, often mask in front of others. Just because others don't see the typical traits they associate with autism, doesn't mean you don't have autism. Ot is a spectrum and impacts people in different ways.

Who is this person? It seems rude and unsupportive of them to dismiss you like that.

I don't think they are correct, either. If they wanted to be factually correct, even though I would think it was still unsupportive, they could say "You don't know if you're autistic" and "Your doctor hasn't diagnosed you".

Calling the doctor a "liar" (let alone a fucking liar) is bizarre when the doctor has expressed an opinion, not presented something as fact.

And why does this person think they have the authority to declare you not autistic, presumably they aren't a specialist running a full assessment?

It's rude. Putting their own personal views on ND over the top of being a supportive friend. A friend would listen and sympathise with your difficulties and worries, even if they didn't think that autism was a likely answer.

GPs are not specialists but neither is OPs friend.

I wouod be asking to see their qualification as a relevant health professional and if they can't produce it, ask them what other conditions they are able to diagnose/refute diagnosis of with their skill set.
It can be really hard when you have an invisible disability and someone says to you 'but you look fine'. It makes you question yourself, your diagnosis - which can be really hard to come to terms with in the first place.

Your friend is correct though. You haven’t been diagnosed. Your GP has made a referral but GP’s are in no way specialists. When ( and if) you receive a diagnosis, you can then talk about your autism and if your friend disputes it, she will be wrong. She is not wrong at the moment though. She could maybe have said it in a more sensitive way though.

I was diagnosed as an adult, and plenty of people didn’t believe it, mainly because their knowledge of autism doesn’t extend beyond Rainman.

Ignore the person who said this, they sound ignorant.

I know that hurt, and undermined the time and knowledge you have gained over the 18months along with the acceptable of it all. But remember, some people are f**king idiots who don't know anything. Also, lots of people have the classic male stereotype (because most research has been done on men) idea of autism, which doesn't always apply to women, never mind the vastness of difference when looking at autism.

That person is an idiot and needs to find some manners.

I suppose the one silver lining is, you're very likely have learnt to mask in certain situations. This person sounds very... honest and blunt (idiot). It could be you mask so well around them because they might not be a truly safe person for you.

But she hasn't been diagnosed by a psychiatrist, only a GP?

Women and girls with autism present very differently than men and boys with autism. Many people are only aware of the typical traits shown by the latter.

We are much better at masking neurodiversity than males, which makes us appear to cope better with life and fly under the radar for longer, but we often struggle to cope with life more than we 'should'.

Unless the person you were talking to was a psychiatrist, then their opinion is irrelevant.

It matters who the person is. My parents are in denial about my brother’s ASD because they blame themselves. If it’s a friend, that’s different.

I was diagnosed as autistic as an adult.
Before then I was under mental health services and I asked my therapist who I had been seeing for years about it. She told me "you dont seem autistic".
So even professionals get it wrong.
The saying is you meet one person with autism, you have met one person with autism. We are all different.
The person you know is probably just thinking of some stereotypical presentation of autism and applying it (or not) to you.

Dont let this asshole put you off finding more out about yourself.