Wedding invitation dilemma

Sounds like the friendship has run it course. If I was your daughter I would accept this and move on. Personally I would decline the invite by sending a card wishing the couple well and then move on with my life.

Think some will send out W invitations because they ‘know’ particular potential guests won’t go? & also maybe will still send a gift?

Like most, I can't understand why this is a dilemma, let alone a dilemma you are involved with.

2 people have a long friendship which seems to have drifted recently as life gets in the way. One would like to invite the other to her wedding.

The person invited decides if she wants to go or not and replies asap to the bride to be.

As pps have said, if she is sociable, then she can go and enjoy the day, watching her long standing friend get married, enjoying catching up with the brides family and with their mutual friends.
If she thinks spending time at a wedding is something to somehow be endured, then she declines.

Not being “daft”… and your post doesn’t relate to what I’ve said at all.

Who says OP is 'involved'?

She's simply asking a question and looking for opinions on the question.

I could maybe understand this being a predicament if it was the hen do she was invited to but not the wedding.

but the friend is under no obligation to invite your daughter to the hen do. They’re obviously not as close as your daughter thinks, and then if that means your daughter doesn’t want to go to the wedding..then decline

The normal thing to do when you receive an invite is to reply yes or no.

Why is she involving you and why does there have to be any drama about it?

Don’t be daft. Presumably that’s only the case if you’ve never moved away from the area you grew up in?

I don’t see any ‘friends’ from my school days as I never bothered keeping in touch after I left home and that’s fine with me.

I’ve moved around quite a bit for work over the years and make new friends wherever I go, but other than the odd post on social media, I don’t really bother to keep in touch with people I no longer live near to. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I think it’s sad people think like this, the friend obviously considers her still a friend. If we all cut people off from our past we wouldn’t have many people. And people invite old friends to weddings all the time. If they just invited people they have met recently or who they see every day there’d be hardly anyone, plus wouldn’t be a representation of their life and friendships.

Sounds like quite fizzling friendship, if she doesn't want to go, it's fine decline.
So sorry to miss it and wish you all the best etc.
Don't go into details or give excuses

I agree

Is this a play date or an adult wedding?
Nothing to do with her mum?
If she wants to go then she goes. If not then she doesn't.

Yes please, I'd love to come

OR

Sorry, can't make it. Hope you have a wonderful day

Simples. What's the dilemma? And, why are you involved...?

Considering there was a "My phone's ringing, should I answer it?" thread the other night, it's clear that some mumsnetters are completely incapable of making a decision themselves anymore.

No I wouldn’t go - she is no friend your DD. I wouldn’t want the friendship to continue if I was her. The friend is bloody rude - a no show for a little gathering DD organised - was there an apology?

It really is as simple as, if your DD wants to go to the wedding then she accepts the invitation. If she doesn't want to go, she declines.
It sounds like their relationship has more than run its course, so personally I'd be declining and accepting that as the end of the friendship.

YABU because it's nothing to do with you.

If she genuinely doesn’t want to go then she should decline. It sounds like the two of them have drifted apart which happens. Sounds like the friend still wants to include dd in some way but dd maybe isn’t as important to her friend now.

If she wants to go then she should go and not let the engagement party influence her decision. If she’s busy or doesn’t want to go then she should decline.

Not sure why this is a big deal.

They were close but not so much now. She's been invited to the wedding.
Is she free?
Does she want to go?
If the answer to these 2 questions are 'yes,' then she goes.
If one of these answers are 'no,' she doesn't.

If your DD is not planning on reciprocating the invitation to her wedding, then non-attendance could really help her.

She should go if she thinks she'll enjoy it and not bother if she doesn't. There's no need to overthink it.

Tell her to go and absolutely rinse the food and drink.

Does she want to go? If so, yes, she would be unreasonable to decline. If not, no.

Friend sounds flaky as hell. Not all friends are invited to the hen do. I’d count myself lucky that I wasn’t. Dh has been best man in 2 weddings where we have been close to the couple for a long time. I wasn’t invited to either hen, because we aren’t that close, not like girl squad hen do close. Sounds like your dd isn’t anymore either. But I wouldn’t miss a friend’s wedding if I wanted to go. 🤷🏻‍♀️

A lot of unreasonable responses I think.

In her position, I would assume it was an invitation to be polite, but that she didn’t necessarily want me there. No invite to the hen. No show at my engagement party. Makes no sense to be invited to the wedding, so I wouldn’t go.

Don't see the dilemma. She wants to go or she doesn't.