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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Settle a serious argument between DH and I…

192 replies

PinkponyclubOG · 27/05/2025 17:12

A sharp or even mild cheddar does not belong on top of an authentic Lasagna..

DH is calling me fussy and that I’m turning into my bat shit mother who will only eat straight chips because I am protesting that the flavours don’t go.

It’s doesn’t even melt the same FFS.

OP posts:
Cherrysoup · 27/05/2025 22:17

Add the juice of a crushed garlic clove to your white sauce (and a shit load of strong cheddar). Thank me later.

UnctuousUnicorns · 27/05/2025 22:13

"It’s DH and me. The other person should always come first and the trick to knowing whether it’s me or I is to leave the other person out as a PP has said."

I think the years I spent learning Latin at secondary school mean that I've never had any problem distinguishing subject from object. Similarly German, Russian and other languages where sentence structure and endings are everything. That and a very strict, old school English language teacher.

willowbuffytara · 27/05/2025 22:13

I do mozzarella and Parmesan. But I also add Parmesan into the béchamel so probably not authentic

FunMustard · 27/05/2025 22:08

I agree and I would also say it's lasagne Wink

Personally I think that people put too much cheese in lasagne as well. Should just be on top, and be parmesan or pana granada.

Koulibiak · 27/05/2025 22:07

Am I the only one who puts both bechamel and cheese between every layer, not just on top? 😮

Original poster
PinkponyclubOG · 27/05/2025 22:05

Thanks for the fun tonight, good to read about the variations all wrong of course

We have had our lasagne, to my request it was topped with a burnt butter béchamel, Parmesan and mozzarella and we stayed well clear of the cheddar and DH said it was the best lasagne he has ever had..

OP posts:
WildflowerConstellations · 27/05/2025 22:04

JudgeBread · 27/05/2025 17:26

Oh OP you'd hate me, I've been known to put slices of burger cheese on top of my lasagna. Yes the plastic orange stuff that's neon.

Who cares if it's authentic? Half my family is Italian and they couldn't give a shit how I eat my lasagna, even if it's a crime against their entire country.

If it's just something you genuinely don't like can you just have yours without cheese or has he already loaded the whole thing up?

I am so happy you have shared this when OP is concerned about cheddar. This has made my day!

DilemmaDelilah · 27/05/2025 21:56

@PinkponyclubOG I grew up having lasagne with cheddar on top so that is what I like. And a nice tasty cheddar too. @FishChipsAndVinegarPlease sharp cheddar is what Americans call tasty or mature cheddar. I don't actually like mozzarella, I don't think it has much flavour, and I think parmesan tastes like stinky feet, so it's cheddar all the way for me. I don't care whether it's authentic, I like what I like.

Pickingmyselfup · 27/05/2025 21:49

It's not authentic but who cares?! I put garlic in my lasagne which is apparently wrong, use cheese sauce instead of bechemal and use a grated mozzarella and cheddar mix in all layers.

I also like cream in my carbonara and make it with bacon because guanciale is difficult to get hold of and so expensive!!

I make what I like, doesn't matter if it's not how it should be, I don't have Italian ancestry and I don't live in Italy.

I am pro double carbs so I'm clearly a heathen..

femfemlicious · 27/05/2025 21:40

ChandrilanDiscoDroid · 27/05/2025 17:14

Who cares about "authentic"? Melted cheddar tastes delicious on lasagna and other tomato-based pasta dishes. Unless your nonna is going to spank you with her wooden spoon or you're entering a Tuscan cooking competition, why not?

And it's "me and DH", if you're going to be particular.

What?

godmum56 · 27/05/2025 21:32

DoYouReally · 27/05/2025 17:17

Whoever is cooking gets the deciding vote, imo.

If someone has an issue with what I cook, then can feed themselves instead.

If someone is decent enough to cook for me, then it's not for me to dictate the recipe.

this.

Elsvieta · 27/05/2025 21:32

How many people is it taking to make one lasagne?

Person who's doing the work decides how they do it.

PeopleWillAlwaysNeedPlates · 27/05/2025 21:29

CruCru · 27/05/2025 21:27

Also - I’m not loving all the people picking at “between DH and I”. Yeah I wouldn’t use it but I understand the OP.

I don’t think many of us would have commented at all were it not in the context of a thread where the OP is picking at her DH over his choice of cheese on the lasagne that he is cooking 🤷‍♀️.

Didntask · 27/05/2025 21:29

DramaAlpaca · 27/05/2025 17:15

I'm with you. The only acceptable cheese on top of lasagna is parmesan, and it's compulsory. And the white sauce should be bechamel, which doesn't include cheese.

This! Cheese in the white sauce pisses me off.

Klozza · 27/05/2025 21:27

I unfortunately agree with your DH, Cheddar on top. But I also put cheddar cheese on a lot of things I probably shouldn’t 😂🧀

CruCru · 27/05/2025 21:27

Also - I’m not loving all the people picking at “between DH and I”. Yeah I wouldn’t use it but I understand the OP.

CruCru · 27/05/2025 21:25

I wouldn’t use cheddar but I don’t feel very strongly about someone else using it.

A friend has an Italian mum who makes the sauce using loads of vegetables and hardly any meat. She blends it and makes extremely thin layers of lasagne. I think the version of lasagne we (I) make here probably isn’t really authentic. It’s the pasta course before the meat.

lljkk · 27/05/2025 21:21

I couldn't tell the difference between cheddar or parmesian etc.

DreamTheMoors · 27/05/2025 21:21

ChandrilanDiscoDroid · 27/05/2025 19:56

There's no grammatical reason to prefer "DH and me" over "me and DH". They're both equally correct.

Show quote history

Whatever you say, dear.
I’d never argue with a grammatical expert like you.
lol

DinosaurusFemina · 27/05/2025 21:19

AlphaApple · 27/05/2025 17:21

there is no such thing as the wrong cheese. Cheese is always right.

This is the correct answer.

grumpygrape · 27/05/2025 21:18

My preferences are
Lasagne as opposed to Lasagna
Bechamel as opposed to white or cheese sauce (lots of nutmeg in the Bechemal)
Parmesan/Parmigiano or similar on top. (Good quality Parmies do not smell or taste of vomit)
No tins of chopped tomatoes or jars of Passata – only tomato puree and wine
Beef and Pork mince and sofrito cooked before adding the tomato puree and white wine.
Lots of herbs

But they are just my preferences. I might try ricotta instead of Bechemal sometime but it’ll have to have nutmeg added.

If you put cheese in a Bechemal sauce it’s no longer Bechemal

Mozzarella only on Pizza.

I agree ‘Mild’ Cheddar is a waste of calories

It’s DH and me. The other person should always come first and the trick to knowing whether it’s me or I is to leave the other person out as a PP has said.

I now have to batch cook a Ragu base to use for various pasta dishes, I’m drooling.

sposabagnata · 27/05/2025 21:16

shuggles · 27/05/2025 20:53

That's like putting cheddar cheese on top of a pizza.

Disgusting.

It should be mozzarella cheese on these Italian classics.

Show quote history

What you have to understand is that from an Italian perspective, there are no such things as ‘Italian classics’. Cooking is highly
regional, so there are Puglian classics, and Piedmontese classics, etc etc. Following the general approach of highly localised provenance, a person in Somerset who puts cheddar on their pizza or lasagne is following the spirit of Italian authenticity very closely indeed!

inmyera · 27/05/2025 21:14

Red Leicester & Extra Mature Cheddar here, delish!

CatsLikeBoxes · 27/05/2025 21:12

I don't think authenticity is a consideration, only does it taste delicious.... I love cheese sauce so my lasagne has cheese sauce with extra mature or vintage cheddar - I wouldn't mind other cheeses on top as long as they bubble and go golden.

But if you both like different things, can't you just do a half and half and both be happy? Neither of you should have to suffer

TroysMammy · 27/05/2025 21:09

shuggles · 27/05/2025 20:53

That's like putting cheddar cheese on top of a pizza.

Disgusting.

It should be mozzarella cheese on these Italian classics.

Show quote history

Try mascarpone on pizza instead of mozzarella.