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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have asked him to talk properly around DS?

137 replies

CujoOn · 27/05/2025 15:10

DH has a strong “old Yorkshire” accent and says some words that drive me up the wall. But it matters more now as DS is starting to say these words and I don’t want him talking like this. It’s not snobby - I too have a Yorkshire accent but these words are so old fashioned that literally nobody says them anymore.

DS asked me this morning if we could go to park to feed the bods for example.

Another time he told me he’d seen Osses with dad. He’s already saying things like “I don’t right know” and “hey up”. In fact “hey up” is starting to become his greeting rather than hello. Even hi would be better. People laugh because it’s cute but when he gets to school kids can be cruel (or “wrong ‘uns” as DH would say).

I have asked DH to start talking properly and he thinks I’m being a snob. AIBU to want my kid to talk properly?

OP posts:
PorgyandBess · 27/05/2025 16:32

“do ya want bog?”

That would be grounds for divorce. Or preferably matricide.

Original poster
CujoOn · 27/05/2025 16:30

It’s not the accent I have an issue with as such, it’s the words like “bods” for birds and “osses” for horses.

“do ya want bog?” As an example of phrases I’d rather him not repeat and yes he does say “let’s go shop” and “get in’t baffroom”

OP posts:
DontTouchRoach · 27/05/2025 16:29

Breadcat24 · 27/05/2025 15:18

I feel your pain. Our local council is doing something similar. It is not witty and it is bad for children to see these spellings

it is bad for children to see these spellings

It isn't bad for them at all. It helps them to understand different nuances of language and dialect. It's a good thing.

LadyHester · 27/05/2025 16:28

Is it eck as like

DontTouchRoach · 27/05/2025 16:26

LadyMary50 · 27/05/2025 16:09

It’s not the accents a such it’s when it’s exaggerated for effect.My brother in law is Yorkshire born and he has a lovely accent.

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Who are you to say whether someone's exaggerating for effect? Are you some sort of regional accent ombudsman?

DontTouchRoach · 27/05/2025 16:23

YABU and yes, a snob.

Your child will code-switch as he gets older. He will be perfectly capable of speaking in standard English when he needs to and a Yorkshire dialect when he doesn't.

I'm not from Yorkshire but I do have a strong regional accent and there are lots of dialect words and sentence constructions I'd use with my family, partner etc that I'd say very differently at (eg) work.

Preserving language and dialect is a good thing and it's great that your child knows the dialect of the place he's from.

Ohwhatfuckeryitistoride · 27/05/2025 16:22

I’m from Sheffield, though didn’t grow up there, dh did and has a reyt strong accent. But some of the words/pronunciations that I remember from my Dad and from living there 30 years ago are vanishing, and I find that sad. Mainly due to all accents blanding out due to media and also because of attitudes like this. Yes, I think grammar and “speaking proper” has its place, but this is his culture,if you like. He’ll learn that ‘ey up’ isn’t suitable in all situations, but honestly, it’s better than the grunts I’d get greeted with at school. We’re told to celebrate diversity, so why not celebrate the fabulous wealth of regional accents?

faerietales · 27/05/2025 16:21

LadyMary50 · 27/05/2025 16:09

It’s not the accents a such it’s when it’s exaggerated for effect.My brother in law is Yorkshire born and he has a lovely accent.

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Where does it say he's exaggerating for effect?

LadyMary50 · 27/05/2025 16:20

I have to say I do love a Geordie accent,very lyrical.My lovely Nanma was a Geordie and the only words I could understand as a child were “hen” and “eeh hars owa Tom”😊

NoisyParakeet · 27/05/2025 16:20

Once your son starts school he will start talking with the same accent as the other kids. I have never spoken with my parents' northern accents, as I have only lived in the south since starting school.

Clockpic · 27/05/2025 16:19

I live somewhere different to the two places my parents were brought up. I have an accent that belongs where I live, but still (at 55) use words from my childhood that don't belong here.

I can't say it's ever been anything more than an occasional discussion point.

Blarn · 27/05/2025 16:17

As someone from Birmingham, a place with an unfairly mocked accent, yabu. Don't discourage lovely regional words and phrases or they will disappear.

Sirzy · 27/05/2025 16:16

Of course it’s snobby! Your poor husband

CloudywMeatballs · 27/05/2025 16:15

YABU. I thought you were going to be talking about inappropriate language or incorrect grammar. But an accent? Nothing wrong with that. I live somewhere where people have a completely different accent from mine, and when they were young my kids did pronounce some words the way I do. They soon grew out of it of course and now talk like everyone else around here.

LittleBitofBread · 27/05/2025 16:14

BitingFrog · 27/05/2025 16:11

Does he say things like “I seen it” or “I’m going shop”? Instead of “I saw it” or “I’m going to the shop”, as I think those things do need to pulled up so that your DS learns to speak (and write) properly.

I agree, those things drive me mad. I particularly loathe 'go shop'/'go Sainsburys' etc. Is it so fucking hard to put another tiny word in?!

Clockpic · 27/05/2025 16:13

FrazzledHippy · 27/05/2025 16:11

This has really made me chuckle, where we're from it's all thick, broad Yorkshire accents and phrases like "put t'wood int oyle" "fish oyle" "waggins and cushins" and "aye, reckon thas tha way'o'it". I've got family from up and down the country and they say the same - you need an interpreter to go to Tesco!

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When we used to visit Yorkshire GPs (dad met mum while he was in Sheffield) they and their friends used to call us "posh" without awful (IMO) Estuary English. Whatever we sound like, it's not posh, but we've got southern vowels.

MoominMai · 27/05/2025 16:13

@CujoOn as long as your child knows what the correct terminology is and how it’s pronounced in the Queens English and spelt also which I imagine he will from his general reading and spelling tests, I wouldn’t worry too much. Sounds like your chid has command of characterful language which is great! 😊

TheOriginalEmu · 27/05/2025 16:11

You can’t tell him how to speak, simple as that.

FrazzledHippy · 27/05/2025 16:11

Clockpic · 27/05/2025 16:02

My Dad moved to Sheffield (where to my ear, having Yorkshire GPs, the accent isn't that broad) from Kent, as a young man and reckons he stood in a bus queue and couldn't understand a word, as if he was in a foreign country.

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This has really made me chuckle, where we're from it's all thick, broad Yorkshire accents and phrases like "put t'wood int oyle" "fish oyle" "waggins and cushins" and "aye, reckon thas tha way'o'it". I've got family from up and down the country and they say the same - you need an interpreter to go to Tesco!

BitingFrog · 27/05/2025 16:11

Does he say things like “I seen it” or “I’m going shop”? Instead of “I saw it” or “I’m going to the shop”, as I think those things do need to pulled up so that your DS learns to speak (and write) properly.

ginasevern · 27/05/2025 16:10

LadyMary50 · 27/05/2025 16:03

I too like a regional accent but not when it’s deliberately exaggerated.My husband is originally from East Anglia(the fens).whenever we have visitors he exaggerates his accent to ridiculous proportions and it drives me nuts.BTW none of his family ,sister,mother speak like this even though they were brought up together.He says “hoss,(horse)hairple(apple).He sounds like the bloody singing postman😂😂

Hev yew gotta loight boy! I used to love the singing postman when I was a kid. I'm not from East Anglia, I'm from the South West but there are similarities.

heffalumpwoozle · 27/05/2025 16:10

LadyMary50 · 27/05/2025 16:09

It’s not the accents a such it’s when it’s exaggerated for effect.My brother in law is Yorkshire born and he has a lovely accent.

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Huh? OP hasn't said anything about deliberate exaggeration.

LadyMary50 · 27/05/2025 16:09

Caerulea · 27/05/2025 16:03

You're being a snob, yes. Regional accents are precious & should be protected.

It’s not the accents a such it’s when it’s exaggerated for effect.My brother in law is Yorkshire born and he has a lovely accent.

Clockpic · 27/05/2025 16:05

My Mum is Yorkshire, we're in the SE. DC just switched when they were young. So if they were reading and she told them a word was "bath", they'd repeat it as barth, leading to a memorable moment when DS1 pronounced anti-aircraft gun as auntie aircraft gun ....

Dweetfidilove · 27/05/2025 16:04

literally nobody says them anymore. Your DH does 🤷🏾‍♀️.

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