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AIBU?

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Original poster

To have asked him to talk properly around DS?

137 replies

CujoOn · 27/05/2025 15:10

DH has a strong “old Yorkshire” accent and says some words that drive me up the wall. But it matters more now as DS is starting to say these words and I don’t want him talking like this. It’s not snobby - I too have a Yorkshire accent but these words are so old fashioned that literally nobody says them anymore.

DS asked me this morning if we could go to park to feed the bods for example.

Another time he told me he’d seen Osses with dad. He’s already saying things like “I don’t right know” and “hey up”. In fact “hey up” is starting to become his greeting rather than hello. Even hi would be better. People laugh because it’s cute but when he gets to school kids can be cruel (or “wrong ‘uns” as DH would say).

I have asked DH to start talking properly and he thinks I’m being a snob. AIBU to want my kid to talk properly?

OP posts:
BitingFrog · 27/05/2025 20:49

ThejoyofNC · 27/05/2025 17:51

He's not saying "osses", he's saying "horses" with an accent. It's not a different word FFS.

He really isn’t 😂 he is choosing to say osses or bods, not trying to say the actual words but it just sounds like accidentally that because of an accent! My MIL says “ickle” instead of little. That’s very a much a choice that she makes, it not her actually trying to say “little” but with a Northern accent.

merryhouse · 27/05/2025 19:14

Ey up me duck

or alternatively (I moved 30 years ago) haway pet

"Hello" wasn't originally a greeting either, you know.

FreebieWallopFridge · 27/05/2025 19:00

LadyMary50 · 27/05/2025 18:55

You sound a bit triggered dear,maybe have a nice cup of tea.

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I think you mean a nice brew

SwanOfThoseThings · 27/05/2025 18:57

Eeeh, bah gum, what a to-do.

LadyMary50 · 27/05/2025 18:55

DontTouchRoach · 27/05/2025 16:26

Who are you to say whether someone's exaggerating for effect? Are you some sort of regional accent ombudsman?

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You sound a bit triggered dear,maybe have a nice cup of tea.

LittleBitofBread · 27/05/2025 18:17

ChristmasFluff · 27/05/2025 17:22

I'm from the Black Country and everyone there would understand osses. We even have a mon on the oss in Wolverhampton.

Being in a middle-class profession meant I quickly learned to code switch, just as your son will. In fact, I now cannot speak with my original (extremely broad) accent, unless I am speaking with someone else from the Black Country.

It's really sad that regional accents/dialects are dying out due to physical and social mobility - your son is keeping the old words and dialect alive.

#TeamCob

#TeamCob here too, although oddly I didn't know the word until we moved to Derbyshire when I was a kid, even though my mum is actually from the Black Country; she never used it Confused

NoBiscuitsLeftInMyTin · 27/05/2025 18:15

Flashahah · 27/05/2025 18:10

You refer to your child as a kid though? Is that “proper”?

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Aye....kids normally bleat, not speak.

LittleBitofBread · 27/05/2025 18:15

Breadcat24 · 27/05/2025 15:18

I feel your pain. Our local council is doing something similar. It is not witty and it is bad for children to see these spellings

Genuinely can't see the problem with that. It's funny and it celebrates the way people actually speak. I'd imagine the kids are completely capable of also knowing standard English spellings.

LittleBitofBread · 27/05/2025 18:13

CujoOn · 27/05/2025 16:30

It’s not the accent I have an issue with as such, it’s the words like “bods” for birds and “osses” for horses.

“do ya want bog?” As an example of phrases I’d rather him not repeat and yes he does say “let’s go shop” and “get in’t baffroom”

I can't see how regional words/pronunciations like “bods” for birds, “osses” for horses and “get in’t baffroom” are the same as/problematic like “do ya want bog?” (which is a bit coarse, I grant you) and “let’s go shop” (as I've just ranted about Grin)

Flashahah · 27/05/2025 18:10

CujoOn · 27/05/2025 16:30

It’s not the accent I have an issue with as such, it’s the words like “bods” for birds and “osses” for horses.

“do ya want bog?” As an example of phrases I’d rather him not repeat and yes he does say “let’s go shop” and “get in’t baffroom”

You refer to your child as a kid though? Is that “proper”?

Flashahah · 27/05/2025 18:07

ThejoyofNC · 27/05/2025 15:43

Wow. The fact you're even using the phrase "talk properly" shows exactly what you think. Why should your child only be allowed to talk like one of his parents? And who said your accent is "proper", anyway?

She’s got a kid apparently, not a child…..

But wants DH to talk properly ….

Purpleknickers · 27/05/2025 18:00

I have to say I agree with you. Local accents are lovely but speaking ‘properly’ is important

GeorgeMichaelsCat · 27/05/2025 17:56

Going against the grain, I do not think you are being unreasonable.

Harsh truth but accents do change some people's perception for the worse.

AgnesX · 27/05/2025 17:56

I realise I'm old enough to be your mum but we were taught to speak "properly" or more accurately formally, at school. People spoke formally outside and then dropped back into their accent at home or with friends.

Is that not a thing any longer?

Clockpic · 27/05/2025 17:52

ThejoyofNC · 27/05/2025 17:51

He's not saying "osses", he's saying "horses" with an accent. It's not a different word FFS.

The same with "bod", it's still bird, just pronounced differently.

PollyHutchen · 27/05/2025 17:52

I grew up in Cheshire and the school toilets were always called 'the bogs'.

ThejoyofNC · 27/05/2025 17:51

He's not saying "osses", he's saying "horses" with an accent. It's not a different word FFS.

Palestar · 27/05/2025 17:49

This isn't really the accent, as in the way words sound when pronounced, but that dialect, as in the actually words and grammar choices.

You're not unreasonable or snobbish to want to teach DS the standard words so he is capable of using them.

CurlewKate · 27/05/2025 17:49

My children are completely trilingual-Yorkshire, Estuary Kent and Posh! My dd has a party trick where she can read aloud and morph seamlessly from accent to accent. It’s worth hearing.

Catdoorman · 27/05/2025 17:48

I have a strong West country accent, I'm doing ok. You're son sounds adorable. Get him a little flat cap and let him crack on.

summerscomingsoon · 27/05/2025 17:47

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I'm from east Lancashire. Haven't lived there in 30 plus years yet people think I've got a Yorkshire accent 😂 can be difficult to tell the difference

summerscomingsoon · 27/05/2025 17:45

Tho i agree bog is grim.

I'm from Lancashire and would have got a clip round the ear if I'd said bog

Brainstorm23 · 27/05/2025 17:44

You're not going to win this argument here OP but for what it's worth people do judge others by their accent. I'm not saying it's right but certainly I wouldn't encourage my child to use dialect words if I could help it.

But you will find that your child's accent will vary over time depending on who they spend most time with. When mine was at nursery they almost developed the accent of the staff there and since starting school they've changed again.

Idratherbepaddleboarding · 27/05/2025 17:43

This reply has been withdrawn

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AutumnFroglets · 27/05/2025 17:42

I'm a 60yr old woman, born and bred in the E.Mids. I frequently say "Hey up" 😮

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