Criticised over my eating style

Sack him off!

Greek person here, we put salad on the same plate. Some salads I have had served to me on the side same as a side salad when I've been to restaurants in the UK.

Eating from a communal bowl is disgusting.

Well, yes, but the issue is whether you put it on the same plate as the lasagna.

It's yum 😋 don't knock it till you've tried it!
And don't knock other people's choices just because you don't like it.

Just wondering - are you sure he is criticizing you? Or could it be, especially as English is probably not his first language, rather that he is commenting on your differences and you are taking it as him being critical? (I'm thinking both of the salad situation and wearing jeans on a hot day situation.) I am in a cross cultural marriage, and there are definitely strange differences in the way we do things, and we'll point them out and even tease each other, but we aren't critical.

If that's not the case and you feel like he is putting you down rather than being willing to discuss these things rationally and respect your differences, then I don't think this relationship has much of a future. I do find it strange that it's taken 3 years to get to this point though.

For what it's worth. Just because you eat a late dinner with him, and that's definitely a cultural thing, doesn't mean you can't eat anything earlier in the day. If he doesn't have anything suitable in the house (not even any breakfast food?) then bring some with you, or go out and pick up something. It's ok for you to say that I get too hungry not eating anything all day until 9pm and need something to tide me over. If he has an issue with that, I think that tells you all you need to know.

And my opinions, just in case you're interested:
A side salad should be served on a side plate.
Even if you've previously shared bodily fluids with your dining companion, eating with a fork out of a communal serving bowl is disgusting.
Why on earth would anyone wear jeans on a hot day? I can't think of anything more uncomfortable. (How hot was it? Was it actually hot, or just a bit warm?) That is probably the most unreasonable thing on this thread, and if I was your boyfriend I would have commented too. But in the end it's your choice.

So he's criticising your eating style... then using a fork that's been in his mouth to pick up salad from a bowl that everyone else is eating from...? Hmm... You are not unreasonable. He, however, is incredibly unhygienic.

you would eat salad thats been touching wet lasagne? eeyw big ick

I have to say it all sounds pretty miserable to me.

He criticises your clothes and the way you eat. He accuses you of overreacting when you defend yourself. He would stop speaking to you altogether if you'd decided to leave.

You're 3 years in but you don't feel comfortable enough to just get some food to eat if you're hungry. He sure feels comfortable enough to get you doing the decorating though.

I'd rather eat a bag of warm salad from the Indian takeaway than put up with all that but there you go.

Helping him decorate and he doesn't even offer you anything to eat because he only eats once a day? Nope, sounds rude.

Op's update saying that if she left he would ignore her and not message her says it all. It doesn't sound like he cares about you very much

So you’re at his house and helping him to decorate and he tells you off for mixing salad and lasagne?

Nah, at 54, you’re too old for this shit.

Don’t most have lasagna with salad? Especially with garlic bread as well. Helps digest the carbs and feel less bloated.

Well I only eat once a day. We dont all need to eat several times a day thanks!

In Italy you would enjoy a slice of pizza not the whole thing. Your pasta dish and salad would be separate.

That's the one I always order. I can never eat the whole pizza anyway and I love more vegetables.

When I lived in Spain, it was anathema to eat yesterday's bread

There are Spanish women who wear jeans in the hot weather. I used to perspire just looking at them!

So it’s ok for him to tell op her eating habit is disgusting?

edited for typo

I love hot and cold food together - salad and lasagne, avocado on hot toast, raw onion and oranges with a curry etc. My best friend hates mixing them. Neither of us is unreasonable or disgusting. We just like different things and don't criticise each other. Your partner is the unreasonable one here - it's none of his business how you like your food.

I really enjoy lasagna with chips, salad and garlic bread on the same plate... YANBU.

To answer your question; you have a right to stick up for yourself. He’s in the wrong for criticising the way you eat. He could have asked you nicely if eating salad on the side of the plate is a cultural thing or if it’s just your choice. Eating directly from a shared bowl isn’t what we do in this country generally. I would put the salad on the same plate as the hot food, like you 😊

He's extremely controlling OP. You're having to wait for him to be allowed to eat, he criticises how you put food in the playe, he criticises what you wear... just throw him back already and get someone who actually makes you feel good about yourself. Life is too short for being miserable with a moany old waiter.

That's really strange. You must get hungry during the day

Alright Farage