Page 7 | Criticised over my eating style

Fernandez54 · 2025-05-27T12:12:16+00:00

Not sure how to explain this properly without it sounding petty/silly. My partner does all of the cooking (we don’t live together), we tend to only eat once a day, usually late evening so by then I’m starving. Last Night he made lasagne and a huge Greek salad which was in a big bowl. I proceeded to put some salad next to my lasagna, and he got really cross, said why I am mixing hot and cold food together stating “that’s disgusting” He is a different culture to me and does eat a little differently…but the point of the post is , I will eat how I want! I stood up for myself and he said I was over reacting, but it put me off my meal then, and I did feel a bit ‘told off’ AiBU to be cross about this ?

Original poster

Fernandez54 · 27/05/2025 16:34

CloudywMeatballs · 27/05/2025 16:25

If I wore short shorts my legs would rub together too! So I don't.

I disagree about vanity and self esteem. I think if you had enough self esteem you'd be more interested in wearing something comfortable than something that suits you.

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You are probably right I hadn’t thought of it like that , but shorts defo are not comfy for a plus size girl, I like cool maxi dresses but did not have anything like that on that day. But I do prefer winter clothes if I’m being honest

OP posts:

OhYeahOhYeah · 27/05/2025 16:33

Fernandez54 · 27/05/2025 13:15

Yes straight from the bowl

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Well that is unpleasant on the basis he is (I assume) repeatedly putting his used fork in the whole bowl?

Obvs you aren’t being unreasonable here, but his reaction to how you choose to eat, is. None of his business….

pelargoniums · 27/05/2025 16:31

Todaywasbetter · 27/05/2025 15:42

you would eat salad thats been touching wet lasagne? eeyw big ick

Oh god, flashbacks to my first hospital meal after birth: they served the side salad (strips of iceberg) ON TOP of the lasagne 😭 absolutely no chance of a separation of powers after that.

The only acceptable warm salad is the little hot nappy bag of lettuce that comes with tandoori chicken takeaway.

Trendyname · 27/05/2025 16:29

Todaywasbetter · 27/05/2025 15:42

you would eat salad thats been touching wet lasagne? eeyw big ick

Are you 12?

Original poster

Fernandez54 · 27/05/2025 16:27

Poiuytrewqa · 27/05/2025 16:26

Why are you ignoring the comments asking if he’s got form for criticising and controlling you in other ways?

I am not ignoring any comments I’m trying my best to keep up with them..I kinda of already know that this is not ok. What do you want me to say? I have already mentioned the jeans. Probably other examples but the original post wasn’t really about my entire relationship

OP posts:

Poiuytrewqa · 27/05/2025 16:26

Why are you ignoring the comments asking if he’s got form for criticising and controlling you in other ways?

CloudywMeatballs · 27/05/2025 16:25

Fernandez54 · 27/05/2025 16:23

i just don’t think I suit them my legs rub together and I feel hotter tbh, I think my self esteem is ok for a mid life woman with in the throes of menopause but I don’t like wearing something that doesn’t suit me, more vanity than self esteem

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If I wore short shorts my legs would rub together too! So I don't.

I disagree about vanity and self esteem. I think if you had enough self esteem you'd be more interested in wearing something comfortable than something that suits you.

Original poster

Fernandez54 · 27/05/2025 16:23

CloudywMeatballs · 27/05/2025 16:19

You daren't try shorts???

I do think you need to work on your self esteem, and maybe the fact that your boyfriend's comments are bothering you so much is a sign of this. (Rather than you just saying something like I'll eat it like this if I want to" and letting his comments roll off your back.)

By the way, I live in a hot climate. I am overweight and body conscious. But wearing shorts most of the year is mandatory for any comfort. There should be absolutely no reason for you not to wear shorts.

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i just don’t think I suit them my legs rub together and I feel hotter tbh, I think my self esteem is ok for a mid life woman with in the throes of menopause but I don’t like wearing something that doesn’t suit me, more vanity than self esteem

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BunnyLake · 27/05/2025 16:21

If you google lasagne and salad a whole load of photos come up with them on the same plate. Show your bf that it’s him who is unreasonable.

CloudywMeatballs · 27/05/2025 16:19

Fernandez54 · 27/05/2025 16:12

I don’t wear jeans abroad, and a lot of body conscious women feel really self conscious in summer clothes, I daren’t even try shorts ! And traditional Spanish do eat yesterdays bread!

Edited

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You daren't try shorts???

I do think you need to work on your self esteem, and maybe the fact that your boyfriend's comments are bothering you so much is a sign of this. (Rather than you just saying something like I'll eat it like this if I want to" and letting his comments roll off your back.)

By the way, I live in a hot climate. I am overweight and body conscious. But wearing shorts most of the year is mandatory for any comfort. There should be absolutely no reason for you not to wear shorts.

WishingforPeace · 27/05/2025 16:19

PyongyangKipperbang · 27/05/2025 15:36

Well I only eat once a day. We dont all need to eat several times a day thanks!

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Me too. Many people choose to only eat one meal a day and I feel much better doing it. I don’t know why it’s such a big drama to that poster tbh.

TorroFerney · 27/05/2025 16:19

Fernandez54 · 27/05/2025 13:35

He has criticised me on other stuff like when I wore jeans on a really hot day a few weekends ago, it seemed to really bother him

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It’s not about the salad it’s about him somehow thinking he’s in charge of you, and you not having the self worth to either just let it roll off you or tell him to get lost.

Noshadelamp · 27/05/2025 16:18

NotjustCo2 · 27/05/2025 16:12

Lasagne and salad would be my last supper if I get sent to the chair. Hot and cold, on a plate together. My favourite. Over and out.

N.B I’m British and have never committed a crime, but a plan is always good.

Same, I love the contrast of hot and rich with cold and light, perfection.

IsItBeesThoughLooshkin · 27/05/2025 16:18

DH is Greek and this is exactly how his family eat salad. However, they accept that I’m a ’squeamish foreigner’ and give me a separate plate to put mine on. —Not that it solves the problem of everyone sticking their used forks into the bowl that I have to serve myself from, but hey.—

Wickedgreengirl · 27/05/2025 16:18

I love hot food with a side salad! Its a nice contrast and I think the textures/temperature differences please my wonky brain.

TorroFerney · 27/05/2025 16:17

Fernandez54 · 27/05/2025 13:22

That’s the bit I don’t understand why is it odd to put it on the same plate ?

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It’s not , why are you questioning yourself, I don’t like the sound of him.

Noshadelamp · 27/05/2025 16:16

Pp saying that's it's cultural, but I'd he's lived here half his life surely it's not a surprise to him that people in the UK don't do everything the same as in Spain.
So therefore he's being rude and controlling because he wants to be rude and controlling and thinks he can.

Do you want to eat once a day? I get that eating late is a big part of their culture but they do eat other meals.

If you wanted to eat more than once a day, how would be react?

Original poster

Fernandez54 · 27/05/2025 16:15

ThriveIn2025 · 27/05/2025 16:10

Gosh I put the hot lasagna on top of the salad leaves and eat in on the same fork. He doesn’t know how lucky he is 🫣

🙌🏻

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BunnyLake · 27/05/2025 16:14

outerspacepotato · 27/05/2025 13:14

Why do you only eat once a day?

Then you have a super heavy food like lasagna?

This does not strike me as a healthy eating pattern.

I thought that was going to be the point of the thread.

Why are you not eating all day, feeling starving and then eating a late dinner? That’s the eating style I’d be critical of.

There’s nothing wrong with eating salad with lasagne, your bf is being weird.

Emmz1510 · 27/05/2025 16:14

It’s not odd to have your salad next to your lasagne! Not even a little bit.
Did he eat it out of the communal bowl because you had already taken your share and the bowl was essentially not being used again by anyone else by him? Because in that scenario, not so odd for him to eat his out of the bowl. But if the expectation was that you both would be eating out of it interchangeably and you’d be continuing to help yourself, then it’s gross that he ate out of the bowl. He should have decanted his share into a separate bowl.
There are plenty of warm things that salad can be eaten with! What an odd point of view. I wonder what else he tries to control you over …..

Original poster

Fernandez54 · 27/05/2025 16:14

NotjustCo2 · 27/05/2025 16:12

Lasagne and salad would be my last supper if I get sent to the chair. Hot and cold, on a plate together. My favourite. Over and out.

N.B I’m British and have never committed a crime, but a plan is always good.

🤣🤣🤣

OP posts:

J3001 · 27/05/2025 16:13

Have mine on with the lasagna , also love beans with lasagne and garlic bread

Original poster

Fernandez54 · 27/05/2025 16:12

Itiswhysofew · 27/05/2025 15:34

When I lived in Spain, it was anathema to eat yesterday's bread

There are Spanish women who wear jeans in the hot weather. I used to perspire just looking at them!

I don’t wear jeans abroad, and a lot of body conscious women feel really self conscious in summer clothes, I daren’t even try shorts ! And traditional Spanish do eat yesterdays bread!

OP posts:

NotjustCo2 · 27/05/2025 16:12

Lasagne and salad would be my last supper if I get sent to the chair. Hot and cold, on a plate together. My favourite. Over and out.

N.B I’m British and have never committed a crime, but a plan is always good.

ThriveIn2025 · 27/05/2025 16:10

Gosh I put the hot lasagna on top of the salad leaves and eat in on the same fork. He doesn’t know how lucky he is 🫣