Criticised over my eating style

Lasagne isn’t an entree (unless you’re American).

Eating straight from the main salad bowl would only be acceptable if everyone else had taken their share and he was eating what was left, leaving the bowl empty for the wash. Otherwise it's served onto the main plate, a side plate, a side bowl, whatever. It matters not a jot. 🤷‍♀️

You sound like a child. Also, salad dressing is a lot wetter than lasagne.

You can put the salad where you like and so can he in his own home however it’s the way he’s speaking to you and you stated that if you challenged that or left he would ignore you and refuse to answer the phone.

the question is not where to put salad when eating lasagne, rather why are you putting up with him being rude to you, telling you what to eat and how to eat it, what to wear and getting the silk on if you dare disagree with him.

id leave the relationship

@Fernandez54 now I find that is disgusting eating from a serving bowl to be shared between people! your not being unreasonable and i am afraid its a red flag in my opinion - these small things tend to hide a bigger issue of control.

There’s always one 🤣

Oh the irony.

You're clearly someone who believes it's absolutely fine to move to another country and not respect/accept the different cultures you're going to come across.

I suspect you wear baggy shorts with your country's flag on, complaining loudly about 'not wanting to eat this muck'.

Embarrassing.

Bravo!

He is rude and a peasant. If he is a foreign peasant, remind him about it - like Princess Margaret always reminded Prince Philip when he tried to flex his intellectual muscle in her presence. If he is French, remind him about their sanitary traditions, etc., if he is Russian, ask him to tell you about their culture of living 20 families to one flat, etc. etc. Fight back!

"I like it like this, you do you". Big smile😀
But also, he sounds mean and nit picky. ☹️

After 3 years, it is not a new relationship it is the next relationship to your previous one.

After 3 years, where do you see this relationship going ?

Who mentioned choice?

I said it's only offensive if he's forgotten he's not in his own country.

When you move to another country, you accept there will be different customs and eating bloody salad differently is a stupid thing to get offended by.

In fact, getting offended by another adult choosing to eat salad differently, would be bloody stupid even if he was in his own country.

He must shit kittens when he goes on holiday.

Best suggestion so far.

He's being very picky isn't he - as he picks the salad out of the communal bowl with his fork repeatedly. My DC are always on the alert for Double Dipping as they call it though they are usually referring to things like dipping a Dorito into Salsa biting off the salsa and returning with the Dorito remains for another dip.

As for jeans in the summer. Everyone knows that the English summer weather can turn on a sixpence and what about "N'er cast a clout til May is out" ? You can always end up shivering, even with a sunny start.
What was he wearing? Jeans perchance?

He seems to get worked up and is quite rude in his criticisms of very minor things that don't have an impact on anything important.

What is he like on bigger, or real issues?

I love how much posters care about how many meals you eat a day, one is fine

What does he think happens in your stomach? It doesn’t stay in little hot and cold areas.

He sounds like a really depressing negative person for you. If he doesn’t spark joy, (and it seems like he doesn’t) Marie Kondo would recommend you bin him off and only have things in your life that spark joy and make you happy. Plates of lasagne and salad for example.

also, this thread is reminding me of Yo Gabba Gabba ‘there’s a party in my tummy’

If DP started eating straight from the salad bowl, I might - accidentally of course - stab his hand with the salad fork. That is bloody revolting. I love cold salad with hot food. Fine if someone else doesn’t. Avert thine eyes. But at least I’m not inflicting my saliva coated cutlery on them. Bleurgh🤢

Why are you with a man who behaves like this?

Someone posted you're both in your 50s.

By now you should recognise this behaviour for what it is.

Where is your self-worth if you allow him to behave like this?

He is not coming over as a nice man.

He’s disgusting eating straight from the bowl - like double dipping!
I’m happy with salad on my plate - why create more washing up if there’s room on the main plate? As for mixing hot and cold, uh there’s tons of dishes that do this.

This is weird. He may not like mixing hot and cold foods, but that's very much a personal preference, and he must know it. He's been living here for years now, you say? He works in hospitality? Then there's no way he hasn't encountered the phenomenon of, say, a jacket potato with salad. Or a burger with coleslaw.

It's strange negging behaviour, OP. That's my honest take. The fact that you feel obligated to eat the way he eats, when you don't even live together, is a bad sign. As is the fact that you've been together for three years but wouldn't feel comfortable keeping food in his house, or eating at a different time to him, when you work different shifts. You've fallen into a default of accommodating him, and I'm guessing it's because he kicks off and belittles you every time you deviate from his way of doing things.

That's worth paying attention to. It's not the healthiest, frankly. I've been in this sort of relationship. He's not overtly controlling. But somehow, you always end up doing what he wants. You always feel a little bit stupid, a little bit watched, a little bit walking on eggshells, and you don't know why. It's not good for anyone to live like that.

Considering they share all sorts of bodily fluids, it’s not that outrageous.

My response to all this would be, "Whose belly is this food going into? Whose arse and legs is this garment covering? That's right, mine." End of story.

It's really not odd to me at all. I'd totally do that. Much worse eating quirks out there. Ketchup has no earthly place on a roast or a steak for example. But that's just my opinion, and I wouldn't (openly 🤣) judge anyone for doing it. He's rude.