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AIBU?

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Original poster

Criticised over my eating style

391 replies

Fernandez54 · 27/05/2025 13:12

Not sure how to explain this properly without it sounding petty/silly.

My partner does all of the cooking (we don’t live together), we tend to only eat once a day, usually late evening so by then I’m starving.

Last Night he made lasagne and a huge Greek salad which was in a big bowl. I proceeded to put some salad next to my lasagna, and he got really cross, said why I am mixing hot and cold food together stating “that’s disgusting”

He is a different culture to me and does eat a little differently…but the point of the post is , I will eat how I want! I stood up for myself and he said I was over reacting, but it put me off my meal then, and I did feel a bit ‘told off’

AiBU to be cross about this ?

OP posts:
OurManyEnds · 28/05/2025 07:53

I love salad on a plate next to hot food 😁

I am clearly a disgrace. Never mind.

Original poster
Fernandez54 · 28/05/2025 07:49

Awittyandclevername · 27/05/2025 23:22

I’m a little bit confused. You guys have been together for 3 years and you don’t feel you could buy your own food to eat during the day, even if you happen to be at ~his house?~ this sounds concerning? Is it just because of his habits that you also only eat once per day? How much of your time do you spend at his house? Have you got supportive friends and family/ a job/ your own finances? The fact he was able to cause an issue over you putting salad on your plate it sounds like he’s not really an ok bloke, and there seems to be other things going on..

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I’m not been abused don’t worry. We don’t live together this eating routine is just at his when I’m there. I do have a job and friends. I was asking opinions on his reaction but appreciate your concern 😊

OP posts:
Awittyandclevername · 27/05/2025 23:22

Fernandez54 · 27/05/2025 13:48

It’s been 3 years and it was about 9pm. If I had left he would ignore me and not get in touch.

Edited
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I’m a little bit confused. You guys have been together for 3 years and you don’t feel you could buy your own food to eat during the day, even if you happen to be at ~his house?~ this sounds concerning? Is it just because of his habits that you also only eat once per day? How much of your time do you spend at his house? Have you got supportive friends and family/ a job/ your own finances? The fact he was able to cause an issue over you putting salad on your plate it sounds like he’s not really an ok bloke, and there seems to be other things going on..

CannotWaitForSummervibes · 27/05/2025 20:37

Fernandez54 · 27/05/2025 13:15

Yes straight from the bowl

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I think that’s gross tbh.

askmenow · 27/05/2025 19:10

SoftPillow · 27/05/2025 13:36

I’m also southern European and would also not eat salad alongside a hot meal like this. Salad would come after, or before, but always separately.

My English DH would put salad on his plate with the lasagne. I might give him a secret side eye, but I’d never comment.

Edited

Well each to their own! But I like a crispy salad on the plate next to my heavily calorific lasagne and, sacrilege....I might even have coleslaw and a fresh tomato & onion salad on the SAME plate.

Why on earth would you fill up with salad first?

Boredlass · 27/05/2025 19:06

SeventeenClovesOfGarlic · 27/05/2025 13:17

So he puts his saliva covered fork into the shared salad bowl?

Never allow some man to tell you off.

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I’m sure she gets his saliva when they kiss…

Serpentstooth · 27/05/2025 18:57

Close!

Original poster
Fernandez54 · 27/05/2025 18:52

Serpentstooth · 27/05/2025 18:43

Is he Italian? Mixing salad with your pasta is bad for your precious digestion and eating rules must never be broken or the sky will fall. You and your ironclad British tum will be fine, though, because we are barbarians who eat any old rubbish.

He’s Spanish lol

OP posts:
Clockpic · 27/05/2025 18:49

I had no idea the Spanish and Italians frowned on salad with your hot dinner. I'd assumed it was something we adopted from them. It certainly wasn't done here when I was a child.

Edit: neither was pasta

Serpentstooth · 27/05/2025 18:43

Is he Italian? Mixing salad with your pasta is bad for your precious digestion and eating rules must never be broken or the sky will fall. You and your ironclad British tum will be fine, though, because we are barbarians who eat any old rubbish.

outerspacepotato · 27/05/2025 18:33

I am.

And for some around the East Coast, it's what's for Xmas dinner.

katepilar · 27/05/2025 18:28

Was he scolded from his parents for eating the salad your way? Is it unacceptable in his culture to mix salad with main course?

Imho there's people who like to put salad onto main plate and eat it together with main course (I like to do that) whilst others like to eat it from an extra bowl ( afterwars) (my parents like to do that). Both are ok. Critisising other for not doing it the same way is not ok.

BMW6 · 27/05/2025 18:21

He'd be getting the Heave Ho from me. What a tool.

TimeForATerf · 27/05/2025 17:57

See, whilst I get cultural differences, when in Rome and all that, but you’re not in Rome, you’re in the UK and eating lasagne with a Greek salad made by a Spaniard living and working in the UK, FFS.

I think eating a cold salad with a warm lasagne on the same plate (which I do) is the least of your worries. How does he, mixing a shared Greek salad and lasagne that he double dips get to tell you what you can eat and how.

Ellie56 · 27/05/2025 17:55

Fernandez54 · 27/05/2025 13:16

Communal

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Ewww! That's gross.

Wavescrashingonthebeach · 27/05/2025 17:42

FeetLikeFlippers · 27/05/2025 17:34

He’s being unreasonable, and possibly hypocritical if I’ve understood correctly. I was going to say that it’s odd to criticise the way people serve/eat their food, until I got to your update saying that he eats his salad out of the communal bowl. If he’s putting his fork back in the bowl after it’s been in his mouth, then that’s kind of gross. However, what you choose to put on your own plate is nobody’s business but your own! I suspect this has little to do with the salad and more with him being a control freak or looking for things to pick at - is he critical about other things?

Edited

Agree with this. My dp HATES sharing of food off same plate has a weird germ phobia about it. I dont care haha but respect his wishes.
I also love hot and cold together. I love sweet and salt together.
Pineapple on pizza kinda gal!!!! Dp's food makes me heave tbh (think: donner kebabs) but it's not on my plate so not my business!!!!!!

Original poster
Fernandez54 · 27/05/2025 17:41

BunnyLake · 27/05/2025 17:41

Maybe they’re on good terms because she can eat in peace now.

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Maybe 🤣

OP posts:
BunnyLake · 27/05/2025 17:41

Fernandez54 · 27/05/2025 17:40

His relationship broke down during lockdown but they remain on good terms and co parent their child very well

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Maybe they’re on good terms because she can eat in peace now.

Original poster
Fernandez54 · 27/05/2025 17:40

BunnyLake · 27/05/2025 17:38

Well if you’re navigating, the exit is that way ➡️

Why is he single?

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His relationship broke down during lockdown but they remain on good terms and co parent their child very well

OP posts:
BunnyLake · 27/05/2025 17:38

FairKoala · 27/05/2025 17:32

why I am mixing hot and cold food together stating “that’s disgusting

Dont tell him about Baked Alaska it will make his head spin

Or Apple pie and cream/ice cream.

BunnyLake · 27/05/2025 17:38

Fernandez54 · 27/05/2025 16:51

Yes in our 50’s navigating a new relationship after a very long marriage, not that that is an excuse but it’s hard work starting again

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Well if you’re navigating, the exit is that way ➡️

Why is he single?

FeetLikeFlippers · 27/05/2025 17:34

He’s being unreasonable, and possibly hypocritical if I’ve understood correctly. I was going to say that it’s odd to criticise the way people serve/eat their food, until I got to your update saying that he eats his salad out of the communal bowl. If he’s putting his fork back in the bowl after it’s been in his mouth, then that’s kind of gross. However, what you choose to put on your own plate is nobody’s business but your own! I suspect this has little to do with the salad and more with him being a control freak or looking for things to pick at - is he critical about other things?

FairKoala · 27/05/2025 17:32

why I am mixing hot and cold food together stating “that’s disgusting

Dont tell him about Baked Alaska it will make his head spin

Wavescrashingonthebeach · 27/05/2025 17:30

He sounds like a knob tbh.
Me and DP have TOTALLY different diets and eating styles and we respect each others respective opinions and try our best to do things that work for all of us including our toddler children.

UnctuousUnicorns · 27/05/2025 17:28

Miyagi99 · 27/05/2025 17:21

Lasagne isn’t an entree (unless you’re American).

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Not even if it's a teeny tiny portion? 😉