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AIBU?

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Original poster

Criticised over my eating style

391 replies

Fernandez54 · 27/05/2025 13:12

Not sure how to explain this properly without it sounding petty/silly.

My partner does all of the cooking (we don’t live together), we tend to only eat once a day, usually late evening so by then I’m starving.

Last Night he made lasagne and a huge Greek salad which was in a big bowl. I proceeded to put some salad next to my lasagna, and he got really cross, said why I am mixing hot and cold food together stating “that’s disgusting”

He is a different culture to me and does eat a little differently…but the point of the post is , I will eat how I want! I stood up for myself and he said I was over reacting, but it put me off my meal then, and I did feel a bit ‘told off’

AiBU to be cross about this ?

OP posts:
IsItSnowing · 31/05/2025 12:47

Fernandez54 · 27/05/2025 13:15

Yes straight from the bowl

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Well, in my opinion that's pretty disgusting if you're sharing it. Putting salad on your plate with lasagne is just normal.

Zedania73 · 31/05/2025 12:28

StMarie4me · 31/05/2025 10:41

He is being very unhygienic
He is dictating what you do
He is trying to to control and gaslight you over salad.
Throw this one back into the murky pond OP!

Why is he being unhygenic?

But I do agree that he should not treat her like that.

Notsosure1 · 31/05/2025 12:00

Fernandez54 · 31/05/2025 10:15

I don’t understand the last sentence is it typos or me being a bit thick 😊

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So sorry - yes, typos!

It was meant to say - he can give it out but he can’t take it!

Sorry about that

Original poster
Fernandez54 · 31/05/2025 11:56

twilighteaser · 31/05/2025 11:04

Hi from Italy, it's true we never mix food, salad is eaten alone, never on the same plate as hot pasta! If it's in a communal bowl, you take some and put it on a clean dish afterwards ( I will add here oil & Balsamic vinegar are on the table to dress salad, not for dipping bread in!) We also never share a pizza, and never have it with fries and salad on the side.

He has no right to verbally abuse you however, but by any chance is he a non mother tongue English speaker and translating something that is meant to be a lighthearted 'eww yuckky' into the word disgusting?

Thank you. Yes that is quite possible that he used the closest word he could find.

OP posts:
twilighteaser · 31/05/2025 11:04

Hi from Italy, it's true we never mix food, salad is eaten alone, never on the same plate as hot pasta! If it's in a communal bowl, you take some and put it on a clean dish afterwards ( I will add here oil & Balsamic vinegar are on the table to dress salad, not for dipping bread in!) We also never share a pizza, and never have it with fries and salad on the side.

He has no right to verbally abuse you however, but by any chance is he a non mother tongue English speaker and translating something that is meant to be a lighthearted 'eww yuckky' into the word disgusting?

StMarie4me · 31/05/2025 10:41

He is being very unhygienic
He is dictating what you do
He is trying to to control and gaslight you over salad.
Throw this one back into the murky pond OP!

Original poster
Fernandez54 · 31/05/2025 10:15

Notsosure1 · 31/05/2025 07:50

he got really cross, said why I am mixing hot and cold food together stating “that’s disgusting” and then told you you were over-reacting when you defended yourself? So it’s one rule for him and if you don’t do what he wants he’s an arsehole to you, or put another way - he can gihenotnoit hit former liel to take it. Which still makes him an arsehole.

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I don’t understand the last sentence is it typos or me being a bit thick 😊

OP posts:
Notsosure1 · 31/05/2025 07:50

LifeExperience · 27/05/2025 14:47

He's controlling, which doesn't bode well for a future together. I would think seriously about moving on.

he got really cross, said why I am mixing hot and cold food together stating “that’s disgusting” and then told you you were over-reacting when you defended yourself? So it’s one rule for him and if you don’t do what he wants he’s an arsehole to you, or put another way - he can gihenotnoit hit former liel to take it. Which still makes him an arsehole.

Original poster
Fernandez54 · 30/05/2025 16:56

HevenlyMeS · 30/05/2025 14:36

You're Most Welcome Sincere Soul
💚🤗💚Wishing You All The Utmost Very Best God Bless You 🥰💯

thank you 😊

OP posts:
HevenlyMeS · 30/05/2025 14:36

You're Most Welcome Sincere Soul
💚🤗💚Wishing You All The Utmost Very Best God Bless You 🥰💯

CannotWaitForSummervibes · 30/05/2025 08:31

Fernandez54 · 29/05/2025 14:22

Really that is interesting I wonder if it is cultural

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Of course it isn’t cultural to tell people off. It’s just controlling behaviour.

HettyMeg · 29/05/2025 22:18

Yanbu. I absolutely hate it when people criticise or even question how others eat (childhood of being a so called fussy eater and people making a big deal out of it)

Original poster
Fernandez54 · 29/05/2025 21:02

godmum56 · 29/05/2025 20:18

except it kind of was because straws in the wind.......

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I’ve just had to google ‘straws in the wind’ not heard that phrase before. I understand what you are saying

OP posts:
Original poster
Fernandez54 · 29/05/2025 21:00

BunnyLake · 29/05/2025 18:06

Yes OP seems lovely.

I hope your bf appreciates you.

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Thank you 😊

OP posts:
Original poster
Fernandez54 · 29/05/2025 21:00

ForZanyAquaViewer · 29/05/2025 17:54

You just seem really nice. I hope it all works out.

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Thank you 😊

OP posts:
godmum56 · 29/05/2025 20:18

Fernandez54 · 27/05/2025 16:27

I am not ignoring any comments I’m trying my best to keep up with them..I kinda of already know that this is not ok. What do you want me to say? I have already mentioned the jeans. Probably other examples but the original post wasn’t really about my entire relationship

Edited
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except it kind of was because straws in the wind.......

BunnyLake · 29/05/2025 18:06

ForZanyAquaViewer · 29/05/2025 17:54

You just seem really nice. I hope it all works out.

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Yes OP seems lovely.

I hope your bf appreciates you.

BunnyLake · 29/05/2025 18:05

Fernandez54 · 29/05/2025 17:19

Nothing stopping me only that I’m not there that much with him through the day, it’s mainly just Sundays when we have the full day together, as that’s his day off

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I do think though that if you get hungry during the Sunday then you should eat. Don't change who you are, after all you are not insisting he eats when he’s not hungry, so you must also ‘do you’.

If you stay together and end up staying over more you don’t want to find one day turns into four days of depriving yourself if you get hungry and want to eat.

Eating is one of life’s pleasures for me so someone who only eats once a day (and fusses over unimportant things like salad wouldn’t be for me personally.

ForZanyAquaViewer · 29/05/2025 17:54

Fernandez54 · 29/05/2025 17:53

Thank you for caring even though you don’t know me 😊

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You just seem really nice. I hope it all works out.

Original poster
Fernandez54 · 29/05/2025 17:53

ForZanyAquaViewer · 29/05/2025 17:47

Fabulous! I’m very glad. 😊

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Thank you for caring even though you don’t know me 😊

OP posts:
ForZanyAquaViewer · 29/05/2025 17:47

Fernandez54 · 29/05/2025 17:46

Yes!

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Fabulous! I’m very glad. 😊

Original poster
Fernandez54 · 29/05/2025 17:46

ForZanyAquaViewer · 29/05/2025 17:42

Alright. So, on Sunday, are you going to take it sort food for yourself during the day?

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Yes!

OP posts:
ForZanyAquaViewer · 29/05/2025 17:42

Fernandez54 · 29/05/2025 17:19

Nothing stopping me only that I’m not there that much with him through the day, it’s mainly just Sundays when we have the full day together, as that’s his day off

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Alright. So, on Sunday, are you going to take it sort food for yourself during the day?

Original poster
Fernandez54 · 29/05/2025 17:31

MyLimeGuide · 29/05/2025 17:29

Lol im guessing he's hot!!

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He’s not bad! 🤣

OP posts:
Original poster
Fernandez54 · 29/05/2025 17:31

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 29/05/2025 17:26

Depending on what type of hospitality he works in, he could have meals on site - poss even free. So maybe he doesn't actually only eats once day ?

No he doesn’t eat on site

OP posts: