Criticised over my eating style

I'm in NYC with a lot of Italian Americans and I was married to an Italian. Salad is served in its own bowl, not mixed with the main dish here. So it's odd to me.

But he shouldn't throw a fit over it.

OP I think some people are deliberately misunderstanding your post so they can voice their opinions on other things they think are unreasonable - I must admit I’m a bit concerned your partner could possibly be controlling, but that’s based on just this one post and totally up to you to decide. If you were my daughter I’d suggest eating more than once a day as well but I know that wasn’t your question.

To answer the question - no it is not unreasonable to put your salad next to the lasagne and the reason it’s not unreasonable is because you don’t mind mixing the two. Whether I or anyone else would eat like this is irrelevant. Your partner should not comment on this so he is unreasonable.
Some people do prefer salad on a side plate and to eat it before or after because the salad can mix in with the mince and then you’re eating the two together. I don’t have an issue having the two together so I’d do exactly what you did. It is not disgusting, your partner should leave you to enjoy your food.

I think you are both overreacting a bit. If you are both from different cultures these types of scenarios will come up all the time. There is no wrong or right way. He needs to understand that and not criticise you doing things your way. If he does you need to not see it as a personal thing and say this is how we do it in my culture. If he refuses to accept this then you have big problems but I think its worth a proper chat now and explain how it is not ok to presume his way is better. If this is a problem now I can't imagine the complications of Christmas or weddings or funerals.

He's more disgusting expecting you to share a salad bowl with him instead of serving your own.

It’s not odd. It IS pretty disgusting to eat from a bowl that is to be shared with others though.

If you had guests, would he still eat out the communal salad bowl??? And he works in hospitality? 🤢

I'm not sure why you can't still have another meal in the day, but his eating style is unhygienic! DH and I happily have salad with a lasagne, either on a side plate or heaven forbid- usually on the same plate as the lasagne!!!!

You need to see this for actually what it is - controlling behaviour. He wants to control how you eat and so what is he next going to control? what you wear, who you go out with. You might think this comment is overkill but maybe stop and think about this and whether its the only thing he tries to control. I would be telling him very very clearly to fuck off and that I will eat my food any way I want.

Unless the salad was put on the table as a starter and then the lasagne brought out later eating them together is perfectly normal
I think mixing Greek and Italian food is weird so there!
I'm not as bothered by the multiple dipping, presumably you have shared saliva before (DH and I have shared food like this before) but the way he spoke to you was definitely out of order

If I have had someone’s tongue (etc) in my mouth I am unlikely to get worked up about their licked fork in my salad.

But hopefully he doesn’t do that in company.

Or at work.

@ outerspacepotato · Today 13:17

It's fine to eat salad in its own bowl. Putting it on a plate with the entree is a bit odd.

We put salad on the same plate as hot food all the time, nowt odd about doing that. Eating out of a communal salad serving bowl is unacceptable, you take your salad portion out of the big bowl using salad serving cutlery and place it on your own plate, you do not go back to a communal dish with your used personal cutlery.

I wouldn’t take enough notice to get angry or upset.

Just shrug and say ‘this is how I like it. It’s not disgusting just different’ in a firm manner.

I actually can't believe he had the audacity to comment on your eating style when his is so disgustingly awful.

A side bowl or plate, fine.

The communal bowl, double and treble dipping as he goes? Yuck.

Tough. She posted is it unreasonable. Yes, eating once a day is unreasonable.

I think it’s a question of preference and not something to get het-up about.

Plenty of food doesn't need to be cooked.

Nope. He's the unreasonable one. Would he do the same if you had friends over for a meal? Because if so he's also the disgusting one. Not you.

This is none of your business, the OP can eat what and when she likes.

The thread is not about her diet.

It's fine to eat salad in its own bowl. Putting it on a plate with the entree is a bit odd.

Oh no, he eats it out of the big bowl instead of of serving it individually?

Ewwww.

I can't understand how he can do 'all the cooking' if you don't live together.
So you just don't eat at all when at your own house?
But he is weird for saying it's disgusting to put salad next to lasagne. He could say it's not how he would eat it, but why would he care how you eat?
If I were you I'd start cooking my own meals. And eating lunch.

Plenty more fish on the sea. Seriously.