Criticised over my eating style

He seems to be quite weird about food...? I used to work in high end hospitality, before I escaped about 5 years ago, and it can make you weird about food tbh, especially if you're a raging alcoholic / frequent drug user as a lot of my colleagues were.

You didn't overreact. Is he OK?

Editing to add: strictly speaking you aren't meant to put cold food on the same plate as hor food, but calling it disgusting is weird hyperbole

I find the thought of cold and hot food ont he same plate as a bit gross. My parents are European (a bit if a mix) so maybe that's why!

My Italian old Italian neighbour from Italy didn’t provide extra dish for salad when she served it along with pasta at her home. I have another well mannered Italian friend is also not so rigid about these things.

Maybe American Italians are too formal and have stayed in the past. I see this phenomenon with a lot of Indian families too who moved abroad decades ago.

Neither of you is wrong, it's entirely how you want to eat and either is okay. Your both entitled to your opinion, and expressing is not an issue. Getting angry however is an issue.

I think eating salad after the hot main meal and/or from a side plate is pretty normal- my Italian friends always eat the salad afterwards rather than alongside. However, even if that's your background it doesn't remotely justify calling you disgusting or getting cross. He sounds rotten.

Well now you know how he's going to parent your kids OP. Starve them all day and tell them off for weird things at the dinner table.

Treat it like a Crystal ball and have a chat about being told off like a little kid for shit.

What an odd response.

OP mentions eating once a day and at the point she finally eats she is 'starving'.

PP are right to question why she mostly only eats once a day since this goes against medical advice and can lead to issues (eating disorders, nutrient deficiencies).

PP aren't restricted to only offering advice on the question asked when details in OP can reveal issues and solutions that would be of benefit to OP.

OP how long have you been in a relationship with your partner? His OTT reaction to a non issue like how you choose to eat your food is already a red flag. How would he react to actual issues? Not good by the sounds of it.

Maybe to you it's odd, personally I love eating hot food with cold salad (especially lasagne!)

Why do you (or he) need to comment on other people's eating style?

Just a question of personal taste. I always like (and serve) salad in a separate bowl (individual ones provided) - I don’t want salad mixed with e.g, spag bol. Dh is not fussed either way, and a dd thinks I’m weird!

Do you always miss the point so spectacularly?

Unfortunately he's a massive twat

Even with a partner?
So like, you’ll have sex with someone, kiss someone - but you draw the line at sharing food?

@Un4732 do you eat straight from the salad bowl and share you saliva with everyone else ?

I used to work with a lot of Italians and they're very uptight about rules when it comes to food. I'd just laugh at most of it.

Or order a cappuccino after 11am just to wind them up

Most of those replying here would hate eating in China, eating out you literally have a gigantic lazy Susan in the middle of the table and all the dishes are served to there and everyone dips their chopsticks in the same dishes repeatedly. And at home it's the same only without the big spinning part in the middle.
They did start having special individual serving chopsticks in places when COVID was a thing, but I don't know how many use them.

Tell that thats how the french do it. Wuiche and salad, lasagna and salad (not garlic bread as we dont do double carbs), moussaka and salad

You mean main course?

an entree is a starter, which would be the salad.

i have no issues eating salad with a main, on the same plate or not. Unless I had it as a separate starter, but at home we’d do the less formal serve it at the same time.

It's definitely a cultural thing OP, but regardless of that, it's extremely rude to call someone's eating style disgusting and to get cross about it simply because it's different to yours.

You respect his eating style, so he needs to respect yours.

I would eat lasagne and salad on the same plate too, and I'd be very unimpressed if someone 'told me off' like that. It's just a preference and differs depending on how you were brought up/ what you're used to.

We were taught to put salad on a separate plate when eating hot food like pasta/lasagna or anything with a hot sauce (eg steak with a mushroom sauce) - so we would all be given a plate for lasagna, and a separate plate for salad. I do not understand the way english peopel put salad on the same plate. If I am offered salad AND lasagna and only one plate I will choose to eat one first, THEN the other.

But as long as you don't care that I will choose to keep my salad and my lasagna separate, i will not comment or care that you choose to put them ont he same plate, at the same time.

So the issue here is that he is judging you for the way you do things and that is not okay.

I’m team “salad doesn’t belong on a plate with hot food” – it’s for before or after, not all cosying up where it doesn’t belong. But I’m also on team “I want salad on my plate, served from a communal bowl but not eaten directly from the communal bowl”. So, you’re both equally unreasonable, which means ideally you’ll stay together keeping your unreasonableness to yourselves; but perhaps incompatible, salad-wise.

Why don’t you eat food during the day?

This, coupled with the way he tells you off does not paint a happy picture...

I know - that wasn't aimed at you, but the dozens of "eww" comments in the first few pages.

My second point though is very true - I've been in a cross cultural marriage for a long time now, and most of our friends are the same. It requires both parties to deal with cultural differences in an understanding way. "I do that, you do this.. isn't it funny.. that's part of what we love about each other.." etc. if one person can't do this, and makes a habbit of judging someone based on just their culture, then the relationship won't last. Especially if children are ever involved.
If he is a reasonable guy I'm sure he can explain and apologize for the over reaction, and then agree that you both need to tolerate and understand your cultural differences. If not then.. put up with it for as long as you can if you want to.

so why do you stay with him?