To ask what’s the most ridiculous injury you’ve given yourself?

I broke my ACL and meniscus by sneezing when I was heavily pregnant.

Which after surgery (two years later cause no one believed me🤣) lead to sepsis, then a further surgery to wash it out and they realised it had failed, more sepsis and washout n2, then another surgery because 4y later I still have fevers when my knee swells up…

I’ve crippled myself for life just because I pivoted to avoid peeing my pants 🤣

Shut the door with one hand whilst the other hand was in the gap between the hinges. I was very sleep-deprived and stressed which is the only explanation I can muster. How I didn't break fingers I don't know but hoo boy did it crunch!

Walked into a door and gave myself a black eye. I'm not normally clumsy.

It was very funny for the next few days saying that and having people very concerned trying to find out if I was covering something up by using the traditional excuse.
Made more funny by that I'd had a huge bruise on my face a couple of weeks previously where I'd poked dh (he was snoring) and he flung an arm out and caught me on the cheek with a knuckle. (yes, he was totally asleep).
I do bruise very easily, and yes, he was contrite - even if he had no recollection of it at all.

Punched myself in the face trying to pull my bedcovers up over me 😂

Tore a ligament on my middle right hand finger taking my socks off, when I went to A&E 2 days later they weren't busy so we're enjoying themselves at my expense i was known and called the sock injury. When I left the hospital with a splint on my finger I crossed the road and promptly fell flat on my face outside a pub.

Fell out of my friends car, from the front passenger seat completely sober.

Tripped over the dogs bed with a 1/2 full bottle of wine in one hand and dirty glasses in the other, managed not to break any of that got covered in wine, head to foot and badly bruised.

Disappeared into a pile of snow at the bottom of a pylon when skiing in poor visibility, luckily one of dsd's was behind me and saw so i was dug out quite quickly. Also, on a ski lift my dh manged to swing it so much I fell off, before we got the bar down and landed like a cartoon in the snow.

Many more....

Dropped a wine glass on my foot and needed 14 stitches. I wasn’t even drunk, I did a 12 hour day as a flight attendant and was sitting on the sofa nodded off after a couple of sips. The glass hit the coffee table, broke and hit the top of my foot. Went to a & e with a sanitary towel on it, was the cleanest and most sanitary thing to put on it 😂

Oops sorry @doodleschnoodle I was initially responding to your post too and forgot. I had a similar incident with curling tongs (which were on my bed) sat on them and had a lovely long burn mark on the back of my thigh for weeks.

I had a ridiculous gardening injury that resulted in a garden fork going into my nose, had to get a tetanus shot for that one 🤦‍♀️😂

Walking our dog with one of those rope style extendable leads, mad dog saw something to chase, shot behind me, then ran in front. The lead had secured itself behind my knees and as he bolted further forward the rope dragged behind both knees. I had proper rope burns on the back of both knees, which was incredibly painful, it took ages to heal due to being in an area that is constantly bending.

Nearly broke my nose when trying to vacuum between the seats of the leather settee, the attachment suctioned itself to the leather and as I yanked it back I hit myself on my beak with it, ooh did that bring tears.

I've managed to poke myself in the eye with my toothbrush while brushing on more than one occasion.

I slipped on a slice of lemon from a g&t and broke my foot

One time, I attempted to get a ceramic bowl off the top shelf of a cupboard by teasing it toward the edge with a wooden spoon. I am aware how idiotic this was. Not surprisingly the bowl hit the counter, shattered and one of the tiny shards hit my eye. I ended up at A&E with a nasty scratched cornea.

Was curling my hair while wearing a dressing gown which was open at the front. Dropped the hot tongs on my bare boob. Actually had quite a nasty burn which needed to be dressed for a couple of weeks. I still have a faint scar today. What an idiot! 😁

I am quite skilled in random injury. I have broken a rib coughing & broken a rib vomiting. I punched myself in the mouth pulling the covers up in bed. Most spectacularly I nearly took the end off my nipple shaving under my arms.

I was running away from an 11 year old who was trying to throw powder paint at me (it was his last day at primary school and we'd just had a colour run where I'd thrown powder paint at him, so I could see his point) while wearing espadrilles (me, not him) and I slipped, fell and broke a bone in my foot. I had to wear a boot for 6 weeks, which came off the last day of the summer holidays, so I came back with a lovely tan except for one entirely white lower leg.

The Head found the whole thing so hilarious that she had it written into the next year's colour run risk assessment that no staff were allowed to take part while wearing espadrilles.

I wanted ringlets after Reading " What katie did"
My mum did actually oblige and after an uncomfortable night ,with my hair all tied uo in bits of material i woke up with perfect ringlets
Only to go swimming a few hours later and ruin them

As a child, having finished reading Heidi I wanted to try toasting cheese on a fork. Did so over the gas hob then put the cheese in my mouth and burnt a perfect fork shape into my tongue. I basically branded myself. Took months to disappear.

As a 9 year old, I hit a kerb and went over the handle bars of my bike, face first into a brick wall and knocked 6 of my front teeth out.

2 really stupid ones when I was in my mid twenties (drunk both time). Tried opening a tin of cat food and sliced the top of a finger off.

The other one was burning my oesophagus! Didn’t even realise there was a problem the night I did it (drunk and very hungry). Got a Chinese takeaway and ate it pretty much straight away, far too quickly. Got up the next morning with a pain at the very top of my chest. Got progressively worse over the next 48 hours until I was crying in pain when I swallowed my own saliva. Got rushed to hospital from work in an ambulance and was in for 2 weeks. They put me on a drip and I lived off gaviscon for about 3 weeks.

Decided to grow up and not behave like such a dickhead after that.

My sister is a cold creature, she uses a hot water bottle to keep her warm at her desk in work. She put it on her chair to do something, forgot it was there & sat on it. It burst and she had a nasty burn on her bum cheek.

Emptying cage of one of my small animals. The hook from the bar that fastened it shut sprung up and hooked my nose as I was bending down.

Stabbed myself with a pair of nail scissors in the middle of my forehead. Was holding them in my right hand and then put that hand against the wall to steady myself as I leaned down behind a cupboard....scissors were sticking out as i bent down :(

Can add to this list again last night I asked my daughter to bring down her control of her bed, by some fluke she chucked on to her trampoline, I was sat across the room tidying and it bounced straight off the trampoline and smacked me in the cheek 😂

Fell over the Henry Hoover wire whilst hoovering stairs. Only fell down two stairs,two, but ended up in a cast for six weeks. Pulled back getting out of my car. Absolutely ridiculous but twenty years later back still liable to go.

I did similar.

My arthritis was playing up so I went to get a hot water bottle.

I picked up the kettle of boiling water and my back went in to spasm and so the arm with the kettle shot up and spilled, and then there was another spasm and it happened again.

I got in to the shower fully clothed and got undressed there, I had magnificent blisters oddly they appeared in the shape of a map of the world.

@Menopausalmum43 if you do that again then the way to get it off is to use a needle to piece the sucker and let some air in.

I had a sat nav holder with a large suckered to attach it to the window. I decided to attach it to my forehead for a laugh then ended up with a large circular protruding bruise. 🔥