To ask what’s the most ridiculous injury you’ve given yourself?

I don’t put sharp knives in the dishwasher, especially not after the case of the woman who tripped and impaled herself on one.

www.theguardian.com/uk/2003/may/29/kirstyscott

My granny was a physio and she always said that putting socks/trousers/tights on standing up is one of the most injury-causing activities.

Not me, but my sister was holding a knife in the kitchen, lost her balance and managed to land her bum cheek on said knife. It wasn't too bad an injury but that was very scary!

I hope you’re okay now, but that really made me laugh!

I slashed my eye jelly in half nearly down to the cornea with a phormium leaf. RIP my eye sight in that eye 👁️

But apparently you only need one good eye to drive so good news there.

😂 sorry

Avocado hand. 5hr operation to reattach nerve in my ring finger.

I slo mo slid off my parent’s bed in a nylon 1970s sleeping bag (with my arms trapped) head first whilst watching top of the pops. Carpet burn on my chin. (Parents were watching Emmerdale Farm in the lounge).

I knocked a carving knife off the cutlery tray in my dishwasher and it embedded itself in the top of my foot

This one?

Drying a large metal baking tray held in left hand and rubbing vigorously with tea towel in right hand; right hand slipped off its edge and baking tray smacked me square in the face. Classic slapstick.

I checked to see if a craft knife was sharp by drawing it across my finger

Too many .. also did the blender one to unjam it (after a wine) and ended up with 12 stitches, fell off the patio (tiny gradient!) and broke my leg. Am currently sporting broken fingers from netball …

@Fallinleaves

I broke my own nose by punching myself in the face! 🤦‍♀️

I was a student but definitely sober!...

Dropped my keys on walk home from work, realised, re-traced my steps, found them in the road, quite bent, having been run over by a car, tried to open the front door, key got stuck, no-one was home so I pulled with all my might....lost grip, fist flew back, punched myself on the nose!!

Bending over to pick up my dogs poo, she pulled on the lead and I fell face first into said poo!

I fractured my shin bone trying not to offend vicars. Yes plural!

I worked in a pub in a University city near the cathedral. There was a special do on for a vicar (I guess he got his first post or something) and I had to bring out trays of volevons.

I had on mega wide trousers being an emo kid and arms full of metal trays of volevons. As I walked into the room set aside for the do, i tripped on my own trousers and fell down 3 steps, landing my shin on the steps.

The volevons went rolling everywhere, there were cassocks everywhere, and I couldnt even swear!

They had to cut my mega wide spase jeans off me in hospital too! My leg had swollen that much 😅😅😅

At Cabo Girao in Madeira, which is Europe’s tallest viewing platform. There are some steps halfway down. Woman slipped on them, colliding into me. Massive bruises on wrist (surprised not broken), thigh and arm.

My husband threw me a Kit Kat which had been in the freezer - hit me straight on the bridge of my nose and caused a massive cut. It was hilarious but really hurt so there were both tears of pain and hilarity.

Gave myself a black eye when pulling up a suitcase handle, I was rather forceful and my hand slipped right off straight into my face.

Gave myself a fat lip minutes later when demonstrating how it happened to the friend that collected me from the airport.

Had a metal shed in the garden that had sliding doors across the front that met in the middle. They got jammed open one day, so I was tugging at them, then stuck my head inside to see if I could work out what was stopping them from shutting. Forgot to stop tugging and doors chose that moment to come free, trapping my head inbetween them. Fortunately no one saw, but I was crying and laughing at the ridiculousness of it, with my head stuck in the doors! No serious injury, just very sore ears for a day or two.

Ouch!

Stubbed my toe lurching around in the dark coming back to bed from the toilet, it was so sodding painful and still throbs sometimes when I put my trainer on. Utterly ridiculous. I think I may have fractured it 😢

Unless you have horses. In which case it's a regular occurrence.

I was trying to find the gif of that to post 😂😂😂

Coughed and slipped a disc, I was 18, Im now in my 50s and still suffer with back pain because of it

Sat on a step, on the first day of a holiday in Derbyshire a few years ago, got up, absolutely knackered my back and couldnt walk properly or move around for the rest of the holiday. Was in agony.

Have at various points grated my knuckle while zesting lemons, cut my fingers while shaving my legs, banged myself in the face many a time with cupboards, my own hands. Poked my eyes several times with the arms of my glasses. Today nearly fell over trying to pull a wire out from the sofa, the wire detached from the charger and I went flying backwards like a cartoon and fell into a chair, thank god and not the floor. Also like others have managed to set fire to sleeves and hair leaning over the hob.

And dont mention dropping things which will always land, corner side down, on my un slippered toe.