To ask what’s the most ridiculous injury you’ve given yourself?

Broke my foot by dropping a bin on it. Felt so silly, my GP thought it was hilarious though? 😂

Oh...and a corned beef tin, get it wrong and they take no prisoner's, you're never going to win.....far to much blood to even want to think about it.

I decided to spiralise a courgette which was fine. I then tried a carrot which slipped and I spiralised my thumb instead. I stuck my knuckle back on which was hanging by a thread but it's never been quite right since.

Some other comments have just reminded me about the little slice of pinkie finger I have missing on my right hand.

I was doing the washing up, I didn’t realise a glass had a crack in it and a mixture of my hand inside the glass and the hot water meant the whole thing shattered and sliced right into my finger leaving a little flappy bit hanging off. I bandaged it up straight away but the edges didn’t properly heal so I have a scar and dent in that finger now.

Approaching the settee to fluff the cushions, toes went under the settee and for some reason the big toe nail didn't and got caught on the material.
I ended up with an unattached flippy floppy toe nail, no way could I just grit my teeth and pull it off, was a long 8 months until it grew out but has never been flat since.

I got trapped in electric doors at Iceland.
I was stood to the side of them against the inside of the shopfront glass with my hands on my hips. The doors opened and wedged my elbow between the door and the shopfront glass.
I got completely stuck, my Dad had to pull me out and then I fainted because of the shock and a large wound. An off duty nurse helped me come around and then sent me off to A&E (which was just 5 mins away, conveniently)

My favourite one was when I lost my kitchen scissors. So I bought a new pair that were wrapped in that god awful vacuum packed thick plastic - that you ironically need a pair of scissors to open. So I picked a nice sharp knife that slipped against the plastic and went straight through the fleshy thumb bit on the palm of my hand. Would not recommend.

While a student nurse in a and e attempted to snap the top off a glass ampoule of an anti. Coagulant. Messed this up and sliced open my thumb which therefore wouldn't stop bleeding. Acquired an injury requiring accident and emergency while working in accident and emergency

Gave myself concussion and a broken nose after tripping over the dog and head butting the kitchen worktop.

Most recent - slipping on some water in the bathroom and fracturing my coccyx and getting two black eyes

Most ridiculous - doing ju jitsu and landing on my big toe and breaking it

I'm fairly accident prone!

Pulled up the duvet forgetting my phone was on it. Smacked self in face with said phone causing a black eye!

Okay Sideshow Bob!

So, typical terraced house, at the top of the stairs you step up one to go to the front bedroom, and the same to go to the back bedroom. I was coming from the front bedroom to the back, feeling spritely I decided to dispense with the step down/up bit, and just skip over the void. Which would have been fine had i not been wearing a long straight denim skirt. As seems blatantly obvious now my leading leg didn't reach the far side of the void. I faceplanted the left side of the door frame, bounced off and hit my head on the (very sharp) shoe cupboard on the right side of the doorway.....
End result was two black eyes, hairline fracture of the eye socket, split top lip and eyebrow, both which still bear the scars.
Kept my front teeth somehow 😬

Cat had got a cooked sausage and was trailing it up the stairs. Was trying to get it off her because of the grease and she bit straight through my finger probably thinking it was the sausage. Jeez that was painful, as was the tetanus.

Name changed for this as I don’t think anyone else has ever done this so hugely identifiable.

I came home from a night out once and was unsteady cleaning my teeth so went to rest my elbow on the sink but slipped and punched myself in the face. My toothbrush went straight through what I now know is called my upper lip frenulum and it completely split sort of separating my lip from the gum. I panicked and googled if I needed an ambulance but apparently not so I just went to bed and it took me a minute or two to remember when I woke up to a sink full of blood and a sore face!

I have also cut my hand with my toe nails putting on socks OP.

Not really an injury as such but I stuck my eye closed when I mistook nail glue for my eye drops.
i slammed the door on mils hand years ago and I still get shudders when I saw the blood drain from her face. Ds asked me for ages after why I had bought Nannie’s fingers in the door 😢

Accidentally stabbed myself in the sternum with a pencil after walking into a door, causing a permanent tattoo.

Shredded all the tendons and ligaments in my ankle standing on a piece of lego 🤣

A few weeks ago, I ran to the corner shop to catch it before closing. Brushed a hair away from face...forgot I wasn't wearing my specs and poked myself in the eye.

Shop assistant: "What have you done to your eye? It's full of blood!"

Eep.

I've lost count of the number of times I've put my back out doing the most innocuous things. I have Sacroiliac Joint Dysfunction, and usually get an "episode" every 12 to 18 months for some reason. One time I lifted an empty plastic washing basket off the bed and that was it. Another time I was standing on a kitchen step to get a rogue plate of mince pies off a shelf, turned ever so slightly, and was stuck there in agony until my ExDH decided I wasn't being a drama queen and got off his computer. Twat.

Burnt my eyelid with my own cigarette when I was in college and getting ready for a night out. Drinking, smoking and singing to myself in the mirror. Eyes closed, hands waving (a la Mariah Carey) forgot i was still holding a lit cigarette and buurrnnn.

It would have been worse if I had my eyes open I suppose.

I don't smoke anymore but do still sing to myself in the mirror

I will be here all day but here is a few off top of my head
Went to grab something from the top shelf of fridge but feet skid out from under me and I slipped scraping my under arm the full length of the fridge freezer causing a hematoma then wedged myself between the fridge and door so my kids and nephew had to run out front door come through back door to unwedge me and pick me up off floor 😆
Next I was pissing about and did a small kick action and all of a sudden I was looking at the kitchen ceiling, my knee had gone from under me causing another haematoma under my bum cheek down my leg this time my best friend was laughing her head off ,
Next I was taking my horse 18HH back into her stable and took a step back she mimicked me but stood on my foot but instead of moving her off my foot like an idiot I pulled my foot out because I panicked cue burst tissue in foot and ligament damage .
Next was sat on sofa daughter screams mum there's a spider crawling up your leg cue me jumping up in fright forgetting I have just laid new flooring and there was a spare plank on the floor that I manage to step on that slipped sideways I land on my side trapping my wrist breaking my radius and scaphoid bones .
Majorca break little toe banging it on mental leg pole but Greece was worse I slipped off a stone step going up causing my foot to jerk forward kicking said stone step breaking my big toe in 3 places ! Oh and to top it all off I broke my scaphoid bone again a few years later . One could say I'm accident prone these are just off top of my head theres loads more haha

New puppy had done a wee on the kitchen floor, stepped over to it grab the mob. Fell in the piss and couldn’t walk without pain for 3 days 😀

I somehow managed to get a raw grain of rice stuck, vertically, down behind a finger nail. Omg it was sooooo painful for days ..

Snorting with laughter over just the first page, love this thread 😂