To have thrown away some of daughters stuff?

As much as I sympathise, I haven’t been able to just chuck my DCs “stuff” hence I have an old hobby certificate on my dressing table and an old gerbil run in chest of drawers! There are loads of other stuff but I just can’t trash it.

Is she not planning to visit at some point?

You could prompt her to clear her own bedroom next time she is around, so she can choose what to keep, or take with her.

Why does there have to be a back story if she's not coming " home" She obviously has made her life and home in Australia

I never threw any of my DS’s stuff away without checking with him first. Takes a few seconds to send a text/picture. Eg want any of these certificates from x hobby? We’ve recently gone through a load of his stuff stored in the loft and it didn’t take long to do at all. I would not want anyone to throw myself away without checking with me first so wouldn’t do it to anyone else. If you think she won’t care and is ruthless with stuff, then a one liner asking if she was happy for you to make a call on what to chuck probably would have sufficed.

no of course not, you know she doesn’t care about that stuff. Clothes, creams and all that crap can go too. Perhaps chat to her first about it. Anything you think is special and she will want to keep pop in a
box. Don’t let the stuff ruin your quality of life. The stuff in the garage can go too. But do chat to her, doesn’t sound like it will be an issue though? X

Just tell her you’re cleaning out stuff from her room. My dm insisted on giving me everything she’d hoarded from primary school. I’ve binned the lot, but I can imagine some people might want to keep some stuff for the memories.

I’ve kept almost nothing from my children’s early childhood, beyond photos, videos, a couple of cards they made, a couple of particular pieces of artwork and their school reports. It fits in a single drawer in my bedside table. I derive no joy from looking at old clothes or certificates for “star of the week” or the scrappy painting they did at nursery when they were 3. Different people value different things and I don’t value “stuff”. Photos on the other hand I do value, which given I’ve got tens of thousands of them is just as well. I also have a long and regularly updated document of funny things they said, which brings me joy. There’s nothing wrong with OP not wanting loads of physical momentoes.

I went to uni- came back home at Xmas and all
my chikdhood had been binned and my room was like a guest room.

Depends on your daughter. My mum saved all that stuff for me and I'm not interested, I guess because I lived it. I have spent the last few years discreetly getting rid of it all.

I save those things now but for me really, my children aren't really interested in the box of nursery drawings etc. I like them though.

YABU to feel bad about binning unimportant stuff.

YANBU to feel upset she won't be coming back.

Take photos of her room the way it is, both for posterity and to ask your daughter what if anything she wants stored. Give her a limit, like two boxes or something.

I know when I moved away for uni, and didn't come back, my mum felt somewhat the same, although I had already given up my room to my brother so it was stuff she had put away in the loft or under the bed. By that time, I had forgotten what was there, and no I had no intention of ever looking at the lever arch folders of French A level stuff.

Bin all the toiletries. Maybe box up the sentimental stuff in Primary/Secondary/Uni/Recreational, and then ask her about it. But you must have a limit to stick to!

Or just get rid of it all if you know she won't care.

Oh no!! I would have got rid of the clothes and shoes and old make up.

the certificates is really sad :( :(

I actually think you’re fair enough OP, as a very unsentimental person. I’d go further and get rid of the clothes, kitchen stuff, makeup, desk etc as well. The only things I’d keep would be jewellery, any heirlooms and any particular books or artwork she liked.

She’s an adult who’s basically just dumped looking after all her stuff on you - she was really really out of order to move abroad and leave her room like a tip in the first place. When I moved out after I’d finished uni at 21 my parents had emptied and redecorated my room within days - I left two boxes, neatly packed and out the way, and I collected them a year later. Anything that was precious to me was my responsibility to sort and store, not my parents. Funnily enough my 25m swimming certificate from 1991, my brownie sash of badges and a huge folder of childish paintings I had no memory of or feeling of connection to was not important enough for me to keep at my house so why should they keep it at theirs?!

SHE might not want them - but why don't YOU? The things you've mentioned are exactly what I've kept in my DC's memory boxes. I love going through them every now and again.

We moved house in 2017. DDs were 11 & 12. We moved somewhere with altogether less space so I explained it’d have to be stored in their rooms do what did they want to keep in terms of stuff from school etc. Not much as it turned out. They weren’t far enough removed from it to sentimental about it.

You're getting very defensive even though your op said you felt bad? You clearly don't.

Oh come on OP, you can store her personal memories somewhere AND use the room 🙄

So you kept old socks and threw out her childhood memories... No, that poster is right, you did this in anger didn't you?
I'll repeat, can you get it back?

So you're keeping stuff that's taking up a shit load of space but throwing away her personal memories?? That sounds very cold and cruel.

Your posts don't make any sense and completely contradict each other 🙄

Oof yeah those aren't just random pieces of crap. If you're happy with what you've done then I don't really know why you made this post. I wouldn't have done it personally and I do think you are unreasonable to throw things like that away

It's very rare I go back & change my vote, but I just did.

That's not stuff you throw away! It's not rubbish, it's her history. Moreover, she's your daughter - why would you WANT to?

There has to be more to this cos you sound cold AF

You were the one that posted that you feel bad for binning it!!!

So why are you feeling bad about it then? Just don't think about it anymore. You don't even need to say anything.