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AIBU?

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Original poster

I can't buy this house....can I?

61 replies

allthegooduseridsaretaken · 26/05/2025 13:20

I had a really difficult childhood with an alcoholic parent ( the other parent left when I was a baby and remarried and had a new family and I was forgotten about) he made me homeless at 15 just before my exams so I ended up with no qualifications and as an adult a shit tonne of mental health problems.

I've been self-employed most of my life as despite being a hard worker, my mental health makes me a terrible employee sometimes. My little business bumps along and it helps my mind and pays my bills.

I bought my council house with savings 20yrs ago just before my husband died so really other than basic decorating I've never been able to afford improvements.
. Im not happy here but I've always thought this was as good as life gets and accepted that was my lot.
My parent died in January and has left me approx 300k in a combination of cash and property. I had no idea and it came as a shock especially as they were very difficult my entire life and even tho I loved him he never once told me this. I still showed up and made sure he had everything he needed. Its opened up a whole heap of emotions that I have locked away for years.
By chance I came across a house for sale in late February and on spur of the moment made an appointment to go see it. The house from the front was nothing special and the inside needs minor modernising nothing i couldnt live with but the moment I entered the garden and saw the view I knew this was where I wanted to be. insat in the garden and felt something id never felt before - inner peace.
I've thought about this house daily while waiting on the grant of confirmation for my dad's estate. The house is just about to go up for sale.
Ive just had an email from the estate agent reducing the house I love to £285k. My own house is nowhere near sellable and my dad's money would only just cover the new house and the extra stamp duty I'd have to pay.

The estate is 177k cash, house is valued at 125k and about to go up for sale. My current house is probably worth around 150k without doing anything to it (possibly 200k+ if I renovate judging by sold prices of similar houses). I have about 5k in savings.

Aibu to think I could buy the house somehow get a loan/morgage to renovate my current house with a low income but 2 houses?

Please be gentle, I'm fully aware this is a fortunate position to be in but this a first for me and I'm turning myself inside out with noone to talk to.

OP posts:
MatildaTheCat · 26/05/2025 13:41

allthegooduseridsaretaken · 26/05/2025 13:35

Selling this place as it is would take a weight off my mind. Except my broken mind won't let anyone in to see what an absolute shit tip it is. The kitchen cupboards are 20+Yr old and barely holding together...the bathroom is equally awful. The thought of an estate agent putting thise pics online fills me with horror. I'm aware that probably sounds silly to a normal person but I'm clearly not normal. I barely leave the house and I get panic attacks just arranging the boiler to be serviced.

You see agents love selling this type of property and will big up the potential and opportunity to make it your own. It’s probably harder to sell a house that’s had money lavished upon it and is absolutely ghastly.

Just declutter and clean and get the garden vaguely clear.

GreenIsMyFavoriteColour · 26/05/2025 13:39

allthegooduseridsaretaken · 26/05/2025 13:35

Selling this place as it is would take a weight off my mind. Except my broken mind won't let anyone in to see what an absolute shit tip it is. The kitchen cupboards are 20+Yr old and barely holding together...the bathroom is equally awful. The thought of an estate agent putting thise pics online fills me with horror. I'm aware that probably sounds silly to a normal person but I'm clearly not normal. I barely leave the house and I get panic attacks just arranging the boiler to be serviced.

Yes, that is silly. All a buyer is going to see is potential. They aren't going to waste a seconds thought about you or your decor.

If you're really bothered get it clean which is more than most will do.

MatildaTheCat · 26/05/2025 13:38

Get advice from 2-3 estate agents but I’d agree that you should clean, tidy and declutter but don’t spend much on making either house look modernised. Most people will change it anyway.

However I would also take from this experience that you should definitely move at some point soon and inner peace isn’t only possible at this one house, you will find it in other places too.

Good luck.

Original poster
allthegooduseridsaretaken · 26/05/2025 13:35

Selling this place as it is would take a weight off my mind. Except my broken mind won't let anyone in to see what an absolute shit tip it is. The kitchen cupboards are 20+Yr old and barely holding together...the bathroom is equally awful. The thought of an estate agent putting thise pics online fills me with horror. I'm aware that probably sounds silly to a normal person but I'm clearly not normal. I barely leave the house and I get panic attacks just arranging the boiler to be serviced.

OP posts:
Hobbes8 · 26/05/2025 13:34

So you have 1 house (inherited) worth £125k, 1 house worth £150k and £177k in cash? So potentially £450k ish? Sounds like you can comfortably buy the new house as long as your houses sell in time. I would try and sell them both cheaply rather than try and do them up. You could put a lower offer in on the new house if it’s already reduced.

Good luck! Peace of mind is worth taking a financial hit if you can afford to do so.

MagratsDanglyCharms21 · 26/05/2025 13:32

I, too, would sell the current house as is, and buy the dream house. The stress involved with managing two houses, and two lots of refurbs, would likely be too much, and could taint the new house. Good luck 💐

fruitbrewhaha · 26/05/2025 13:30

Sounds like it could be stressful to manage and that might push you too much?

Im also wondering about the maths here, £150k to £200k is a big jump. It makes it sound like everything needs doing; heating, wiring, plumbing, kitchen bathroom, windows. You may end up spending £40k to get an extra £45k which is still a lot of money but you would have to manage the budget and not end up going over. It’s a lot of work. Is it really worth it? Would someone prefer to move in to do it themselves and have the kitchen and bathroom they like rather than your choice.

xILikeJamx · 26/05/2025 13:30

As others say, just tidy your house up and get it on the market - don't bother with decorating. If it's priced right it will sell.

Go get yourself that inner peace instead of regretting passing up on it.

GreenIsMyFavoriteColour · 26/05/2025 13:27

Your existing house is sellable as long as its good enough to get a mortgage on,which I'm sure it is, if it's habitable. I wouldn't waste any money doing it up at all. Discount it a bit and let a new owner do it up the way they want it.

On a personal note, thankyou. I was wasting my day sitting about doing nothing and something about your life story has given me the shot in the arm I need to get out and do something productive.

LikeARacoonOnMeth · 26/05/2025 13:25

Agree with pp. I wouldn’t bother with the renovations. Buyers like a bargain and like to make a place their own. It would be costly and possibly stressful, and it sounds like you have enough on your plate.
I’m sorry for your loss Flowers

PurpleThistle7 · 26/05/2025 13:23

Why don't you just sell your current house for whatever you can get for it? I am in no way in this situation but I 'think' there's a specific issue around owning two houses with council tax and such so you might spend a 'lot' managing that aspect.