Partner wants to move into my house - How do I protect myself?

Another one saying if you're not eager to do it then don't do it. Why would you? Carry on as you are. He doesn't get to move into your home when you're not keen.

Also ironic that you say I’m incapable of reading an entire post. You’re clearly incapable of reading an entire thread which doesn’t have that many posts.

My original advice was not to put the partner on the mortgage. Only when ready to live together should she charge him a rental fee to reflect her sharing her home space and also split the bills. That way both get a benefit if the relationship ends and nobody loses what they had before.

Your original advice is to make assumptions that he wants free accommodation and sex on tap. 🤣 . Oh dear god her partner wants to live with her and have sex with her! The evil
bastard. 🤣🤣🤣

I think the advice would be different if a woman moved in and then had children unmarried - then if it all goes pear shaped she is homeless and no claim on anything and potentially working part time or not at all and making herself vulnerable. But if that were not the case i think a woman moving in and expecting to go on a mortgage and then having a claim on a property would be just as unfair.

Honestly I don't think you should, your whole attitude to the idea of it is negative and defensive, and I can see you resenting him for every little thing.
Even your thread title shows your uncertainty about it.

Don't for the love of god give him any rights to any part of your house.

1. You're not married.

2. He has invested NOTHING in the house.

3. He'll take half when you split up if you're not VERY careful.

4. Take legal advice BEFORE he moves in. Possibly getting the solicitor to draw up some sort of document for you both to sign to protect your interests.

There is a reason he's keen to move in and it isn't because he's so in love.

To specifically answer your question as to how it would work, there are a couple of options

Option one:
He is a 'lodger', and pays a fixed sum to you which includes everything and does not depend on how much the bills are. e.g., he pays £xx per month, no matter if the electricity bill goes up or down over time. Make sure the £xx is high enough that you won't be out of pocket - two people use far more electricity and water than one.
His name is not on any bills.

Option two:
You open a joint current account out of which all household bills are paid, general shopping, food, cleaning products, etc., but NOT the mortgage or property repairs which you pay out of your personal current account.
You both pay into the joint account equally.
Utility and other household bills are put in joint names.
In the event of a breakup, it is completely transparent that he only ever paid for his share of household costs - the bank statements prove this.

Beware - over time if the relationship develops, especially if you have children or get married, the "equal shares" contributions to the joint account may not actually be fair, particularly if you are on maternity leave or one of you starts to earn far more than the other. At that stage you can discuss changing to paying in proportional to your incomes.
Don't start off with proportional payments if he is earning more, because he could argue that he was subsidising you so should get a share of the house on breakup.

Hahaha oh the irony.

WilfredPies: You’re so desperate to dig out misandry where none exists
Also Wilfred Pies: Once he’s in, it’ll be a bugger to get rid of him. He’ll be claiming homelessness and guilt tripping you into letting him stay

I’ve not said anything ill of OP intentions, just pointing out how you and other PP are catastrophising about OP’s partner, whom she’s been with for 3 years. Carrying on like a guy keen to move in with his partner is a bad thing 🤣.

OP is content enough with her partner and given no indication he’s sinister (other than being keen), or anything is wrong with the relationship. So perhaps don’t immediately jump to assassinate his character.

OP isn’t ready to move in which is ok, but her not wanting to live together isn’t an indication he’s bad.

Does he even have the money to eventually buy into your house and apply for a joint mortgage? I assume you have some equity in it.

Or is he suggesting he becomes your lodger?

Don't move him in.

He's the one that wants it and who did this add him to the mortgage come from? If him, that would be a hell no.

He gets the big benefits from moving in and if you put him on the mortgage, he gets a legal claim on your home, if I understand correctly how it works where you are.

Your home is your major financial asset that you alone have put money into. Don't jeopardize that.

You know you're not ready and for good reason. Why are you unwilling to say this to him?

“We’ve been discussing the possibility of taking the next steps and moving in together, with him being more eager than I am.”

I bet he is - he gets rid of his monthly rent, and what exactly do you get in return? I’d be very cautious, OP, and under NO circumstances would I let myself be persuaded to put him on the deeds/mortgage unless and until you have actually married him (and I might be wanting to have some safeguards for myself even then). I’d consult a solicitor to see what legal safeguards are available to you - and don’t ever be rushed into anything as important as sharing your house with someone until you’re good and ready - if you have any doubts whatsoever, just don’t do it.

Have a solicitor draw up a Living Together Agreement or a Lodger Agreement and have it formally documented.

How much will he be saving in rent by moving in with you? I'd ask him how he envisages it will make it financially right for both of you, if he were to move in, given that the property (and mortgage debt) will be yours.
I think he should pay half the bills and half the rent he pays on his current place.
Do not put him on the mortgage ... your lender will have a form for him to sign to say he won't make a claim on your property (my son had to sign one when living with me).

Don't do it.
Protect yourself by ensuring no-one moves into your property.

Why the rush on his part? Why do you feel reluctant? I think your gut is telling you something.

It is interesting that were the roles swapped and this was a woman moving into a man’s house the advice would be very different.

she just said he is paying towards the interest so towards the mortgage?

How is she risking her home ownership?

they aren’t married, he’s not on the deeds or mortgage. He isn’t paying the mortgage or contributing to maintenance so won’t have a financial claim if they split.

i would maybe check if diy is classed as home improvements. Putting up the odd shelf won’t be, but if he’s increasing the value of the property installing new kitchens he may be able to claim he’s contributed.

Pretty simple- trial period for a couple of years. He pays 50% bills plus rent. You put this into a signed cohabitation agreement. Then you see if it works out.

If it works out then you get married and pool your finances, pay all the bills out of one pool.

Don’t do it. Don’t add him to the mortgage, ever. If he moves in, make sure anything he pays is towards bill only, not mortgage.
Too many stories on here about cocklodgers

Don’t do it. It has the potential to ruin your life if it goes wrong. Speaking from experience.

and you are happy to risk your security and home ownership over this?

This 100%

My mortgages have a form if someone to move in they sign they have no rights to the house. Be worth looking into

I’m going to buck the trend here and say moving my partner into my property made things infinitely better. He’s brilliant at cooking and DIY and shares the domestic load. I charge him half the bills and half the interest on the mortgage which only comes to £100 a week so he’s still getting a great deal. What would concern me about your situation is that you don’t seem to want him to move in, in which case he shouldn’t and there’s nothing wrong with that.