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Original poster

AIBU to find this comment baffling?

58 replies

MissAvainthesun · 26/05/2025 11:37

I’ve been to quite a few baby celebrations recently and find this comment a bit bizarre when people are complimenting the baby.

“Oh he’s definitely…the dad’s he/she looks exactly him” or “there’s no doubt that’s his he/she looks exactly like them”.

I’ve been a bit baffled by it…have I missed something the mum/best friends have slept with someone else and I didn’t know but everyone else does? 🤣 I just find it a bit strange that some people don’t find saying this insulting i.e the person who’s saying it. In this case it was the Aunt and their MIL but everybody around them in agreement and saying yes they really do with no thought of do you hear what this person is possibly insinuating.

I don’t say anything as I don’t want to start anything or upset anyone.

Going to a celebration this afternoon where my friend is the mum and is aware of this type of comment, we are expecting to hear it as quite a few of the people are in the same friendship circle. So, what would you say that wouldn’t cause upset but just to get that person to think about how it sounds?

OP posts:
Original poster
MissAvainthesun · 26/05/2025 11:50

KidsDoBetter · 26/05/2025 11:45

Yes but a difference between “oh he’s the spitting image of his dad” and “oh he’s definitely Bob’s” as though paternity was in question. That’s most rude and I’ve never heard it!

Is it said in jest @MissAvainthesun ?

Show quote history

This is exactly what I mean…

yes I think it is said in jest mostly…there’s only one I’ve raised an eyebrow at and felt uncomfortable as the tone was different and made me think was there a question of paternity…that was someone’s sister and she’d had quite a few drinks and referred to the hen do shenanigans but she did have form for saying inappropriate things at other get togethers.

OP posts:
Mareleine · 26/05/2025 11:50

Some people say it in a bitchy, passive-aggressive way and some people say it because it's something inane to say about a baby.
My MIL, for example, on meeting DS for the first time post-birth, said confidently that he looked just like me and absolutely nothing like his dad (my DH) because she wanted to be nasty and plant that seed of doubt. DH of course just rolled his eyes because it was typical MIL bitchiness.

TinyTempest · 26/05/2025 11:50

"He's his father's son for sure"

"She's definitely her mother's daughter"

Those ^^ are fairly typical things to say (well, in Ireland anyway).

But if you're quoting them word for word, then you know some very odd people OP.

BallerinaRadio · 26/05/2025 11:48

It's just something people say isn't it. Nobody is giving it any thought except you, if you said anything to them they'd think you were the odd one

curious79 · 26/05/2025 11:47

I just wouldn't say anything. Who are you to police people's random comments? Sometimes new babies are ugly as sin and people will just say anything to say something nice. Sometimes they're the spitting image to such an extent it grabs you. etc etc

Original poster
MissAvainthesun · 26/05/2025 11:46

I agree with you just usually it’s something normal like “o he/she is gorgeous they look look just like you” not “there’s no doubt that’s his”…why would there be any doubt in the first place 🤣

OP posts:
KidsDoBetter · 26/05/2025 11:45

Fyreheart · 26/05/2025 11:42

It's not meant to be rude, sometimes babies really resemble their parents.

Yes but a difference between “oh he’s the spitting image of his dad” and “oh he’s definitely Bob’s” as though paternity was in question. That’s most rude and I’ve never heard it!

Is it said in jest @MissAvainthesun ?

Fyreheart · 26/05/2025 11:42

It's not meant to be rude, sometimes babies really resemble their parents.

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