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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Are there people in your life where you just think ‘ I can’t wait until you’re a parent and finally get it and rub that smug look off your face ‘?

228 replies

doyuever · 26/05/2025 10:53

This is a bit tongue in cheek and I know I’m evil. But DH has younger siblings and they just get on our nerves SO much. They just DON’T get it and have NO idea how hard it is to be a parent.

granted, neither did we. My DH was such an unsympathetic dick when my older sister had kids. She had her first and then two years later, she was blessed with twins. It was an absolute fucking nightmare.

a beautiful blessing, but very very very difficult time for her and her husband. I used to give a lot of moral support and try my absolute best to be there to help practically too. It was really tough and took it out of them.

my DH would say stuff like ‘ they’re not the first to have kids ‘ and ‘ they’re too dramatic and not the only people to have problems. They’re not the centre of the universe ‘.. he just didn’t get it at all.

now we are parents with small kids, he kicks himself for being such a dick and says how wrong he was.

now we have his siblings coming to see us a fair bit and they just don’t get it at all. Obviously. They try to give absolutely rubbish ‘ advice ‘ sometimes. They try to visit at 5-6pm sometimes and we’ve had to try to explain why that’s just not good right now. When we do talk about things being hard or we seem frazzled, they never have the emotional intelligence to say anything kind. ( we don’t generally say anything anymore about it being hard going as it’s just pointless ).

SIL just thinks it’s pretty much normal for mums to do it all. SIL was saying how when they were kids, the dad would go on overnight fishing trips with his friends almost every weekend… I said quite horrified that it must have been hard for their mum and she was like ‘ but why ? ‘… so no fucking clue what so ever!

me and DH say quite frequently that we just can’t wait until the have kids and we can finally understand each other again. ( they all want kids btw ).

can anyone relate ? It’s kind of funny but also annoying.

OP posts:
doyuever · 26/05/2025 10:59

I can’t fucking wait ! My two are tantrumers though. If their kids are calm kids, they’ll no doubt be the kind of parents who think that it’s because they’re so special.

OP posts:
WingBingo · 26/05/2025 10:57

God yes. There’s 3 couples in our friendship group. One couple don’t have children.

they do, well they did want them. They were hoping for twins so they can have 2 then they are done.

Twins are in the family plus they had IVF. No idea how much work 2 babies are.

they don’t understand why we can’t drop everything all the time and do weekends away without DC. Me and the other couple have 2 boys.

I could go on but I feel I am starting to rant.

TwilightSkies · 26/05/2025 10:56

Yeah my sister and her partner were horrible to me when I had DD2. I’d call it bullying. I had to avoid being around them. Like when she was 18 months, they would sarcastically say ‘oh wow, great parenting skills’ when DD wanted down from the dinner table to run about.

Now they have 2 VERY headstrong DCs who run rings around them 😂 they have never apologised but I like to think they have been humbled by seeing how hard it is.

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