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Original poster

Ex-DH has stolen my vibrator!

36 replies

Absolutesockdrawer · 26/05/2025 10:22

My ex-DH and I have (had!) a good relationship, to the extent that we help each other other by, for example, pet-sitting when the other is away.

I have just been away for three nights with the DC, and DH has been cat-sitting. We got back last night, and this morning first thing the DCs went off to ex-DHs for their regular couple of nights. He came round to pick them up and give me my spare key back, behaving absolutely normally.

I went upstairs to get ready for the day but wanted to use my vibrator before my shower so went to where I keep it. It is well hidden. DH knows where the hiding place is because when we lived together it was kept there.

It has gone. The only explanation is that he has taken it. I definitely put it back there when I used it last.

I am fucking furious. How dare he?? And why? Is it some kind of joke? Does he want me to ask him for it back?! I am minded to text him but am angry and would be embarrassed. Should I just leave it?! What a knob! What a juvenile, stupid thing to do! And he was in my house half an hour ago like butter wouldn’t melt.

OP posts:
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ThatDaringEagle · 30/05/2025 01:18

OP, I feel your vibrator is likely to 'pop up' somewhere you might not have expected it to some day. If it does then just lie back & enjoy it I guess!! 😉

xILikeJamx · 26/05/2025 13:46

The next time you see exDH, mention that you're a bit sad as you were seeing someone but you've had to break up because he only liked sex when you stuck the vibrator up his arse, but now you can't find it so he split up with you.

crankycurmudgeon · 26/05/2025 13:21

You sure your cat hasn't buried it, or taken it round the neighbours as a gift?

Badbadbunny · 26/05/2025 13:04

NotOnThsAsosChristmasCardList · 26/05/2025 10:42

Theft is a police matter.

Show quote history

They'll do bugger all for low value items. There's not even any evidence of theft, so they'd probably do nothing if it was a higher value item.

ItGhoul · 26/05/2025 12:56

Elbowpatch · 26/05/2025 10:37

Report it to the police.

What do you think the police will do, exactly?

There was no break-in and the OP doesn’t actually have any evidence to suggest it was taken. Even if she did, the police aren’t going to take out a search warrant to search a man’s house for a lost Rampant Rabbit.

OP, assuming your ex really did take it, he’s a complete weirdo. I have no idea whether I’d say anything to him or not, to be honest, but I’d certainly be making sure he was never alone in my house again!

Anusername · 26/05/2025 12:23

Absolutesockdrawer · 26/05/2025 11:11

I’m not gonna buy another one for him to nick! He’s never coming in the house again!

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Are you 100% sure it’s him? Only you know your ex😂

Helloworlditsmeagain · 26/05/2025 11:21

Absolutesockdrawer · 26/05/2025 11:11

I’m not gonna buy another one for him to nick! He’s never coming in the house again!

Show quote history

You can't say nothing to him he'll embarrass you.

vodkaredbullgirl · 26/05/2025 11:19

Sorry OP but it's made me laugh. When splitting with my ex, he said he was going to post mine to my solicitor. Told him go to go ahead, carry on 🤣

MannequinsArePeopleToo · 26/05/2025 11:17

🙄

Missj25 · 26/05/2025 11:14

Absolutesockdrawer · 26/05/2025 10:22

My ex-DH and I have (had!) a good relationship, to the extent that we help each other other by, for example, pet-sitting when the other is away.

I have just been away for three nights with the DC, and DH has been cat-sitting. We got back last night, and this morning first thing the DCs went off to ex-DHs for their regular couple of nights. He came round to pick them up and give me my spare key back, behaving absolutely normally.

I went upstairs to get ready for the day but wanted to use my vibrator before my shower so went to where I keep it. It is well hidden. DH knows where the hiding place is because when we lived together it was kept there.

It has gone. The only explanation is that he has taken it. I definitely put it back there when I used it last.

I am fucking furious. How dare he?? And why? Is it some kind of joke? Does he want me to ask him for it back?! I am minded to text him but am angry and would be embarrassed. Should I just leave it?! What a knob! What a juvenile, stupid thing to do! And he was in my house half an hour ago like butter wouldn’t melt.

😂😂
Not laughing at you at all . At him ..
He did that now I’d say in a moment of jealousy..
Doesn’t like the thoughts of you having fun on your own or his mind going a million miles an hour , playing with someone else ….

Original poster
Absolutesockdrawer · 26/05/2025 11:11

Anusername · 26/05/2025 11:09

You can replace it as nothing happens and let him cat sit again as per normal. If you found it missing again after he cat sits then you’d be 100% sure that he steals. Then the action plan is clear after that.

I’m not gonna buy another one for him to nick! He’s never coming in the house again!

OP posts:
Anusername · 26/05/2025 11:09

You can replace it as nothing happens and let him cat sit again as per normal. If you found it missing again after he cat sits then you’d be 100% sure that he steals. Then the action plan is clear after that.

FutureCatMum · 26/05/2025 11:08

Change your locks.
Buy another one.
Don’t mention it to him. If he’s taken it, you’re giving him the satisfaction and confirming he still has power/control over you. If he hasn’t, you’ll sound insane.

Helloworlditsmeagain · 26/05/2025 11:07

Elbowpatch · 26/05/2025 10:37

Report it to the police.

I wouldn't he most probably wankef over her smell. Can you imagine what the police would think.

HenDoNot · 26/05/2025 10:48

Say nothing.
Change your locks.
Don’t allow him over the doorstep ever again.

I ageee with a PP, a man who will do this will also be nosing through your paperwork, sniffing your knickers in the washing basket and will have probably got himself a key cut.

What a fucking creep.

MyCyanReader · 26/05/2025 10:46

Absolutesockdrawer · 26/05/2025 10:38

Would be amazed if DCs could’ve found it. It’s high up (for them) behind things, and I doubt it would look appealing to them.

Show quote history

But they COULD have found it. Kids take all sorts of strange things.

So I wouldn't go accusing the ex just yet...

Or if you're sure it's him then buy him his own one for his birthday if he likes them so much. Send him an anonymous one in the post every year on his birthday.

allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 26/05/2025 10:46

@Absolutesockdrawer go to your facebook and tag him on a post! "why did you steal my vibrator when you left, Dear harold, john ?!" do not write on his wall or pm him!! embarass the hell out of him!! if he denies it all you have to say is, I wondered why we used so many batteries!!

tripleginandtonic · 26/05/2025 10:46

Elbowpatch · 26/05/2025 10:37

Report it to the police.

Yeah right. Bet they'd have a right laugh over that one.

babystarsandmoon · 26/05/2025 10:44

I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of asking.

BookArt55 · 26/05/2025 10:43

Yeh I think some new boundaries need to be put in place. This is very strange behaviour, I would also change the locks. I wouldn't confront him because he did it for a reaction... and I love the PP suggestion that if he mentions it then you say you thought you'd left it at your friend's house, brilliant!

RandomUserName96 · 26/05/2025 10:43

Can't wait for the update where OP finds it and remembers that she'd actually left it there last time and H hadn't nicked it...

NotOnThsAsosChristmasCardList · 26/05/2025 10:42

cestlavielife · 26/05/2025 10:40

Buy a new one hide in different location .
Say nothing
He wants you to engage in sex talk with him. If you want to then mention it. If you do not then don't
It is not a police matter

Theft is a police matter.

HappyLols · 26/05/2025 10:41

Put a note in the "hidden" place for him to find if he does this again

cestlavielife · 26/05/2025 10:40

Buy a new one hide in different location .
Say nothing
He wants you to engage in sex talk with him. If you want to then mention it. If you do not then don't
It is not a police matter

Sassybooklover · 26/05/2025 10:39

I would definitely check to make sure you haven't put it anywhere else. I certainly wouldn't lower myself to ask for it back, and if that's why he's done it, then he'll have a long wait! Buy another one. Say nothing. Stop him from coming into your home when you're not there. Find someone else to feed your cats. If he's capable of that, then he's capable of nosing through paperwork, and even possibly taking a cut of your door key! I'd be changing the front door lock as a precaution!