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AIBU?

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Original poster

To now allow DSs friend over because of pillow fight?

234 replies

CrabbyPaty · 26/05/2025 09:50

I don’t mind the kids playing with their pillows as I know a lot of their games involve the pillows - pillow fight, gladiators, paintballing etc but the rule is no stomper pillow. That’s it.

Last night they were playing upstairs when I heard crying, went up and DS1 had a bloodied nose, DS2 had whacked him in the face with a stomper pillow. He’s meant to be having a friend over tonight and I’m thinking of cancelling. DH said to just remove the stompers but I feel that is just masking DSs behaviour. Would I be going too far to cancel the sleepover?

OP posts:
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5
xxxwd · 26/05/2025 10:26

Could you add a picture of the “stomper”?

HelpMeGetThrough · 26/05/2025 10:25

sweeneytoddsrazor · 26/05/2025 10:22

It's what NHS recommends as best for your neck and back

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Well in 53 years of using two pillows, my neck and back are fine, so the NHS can do one on that.

They also gave me two pillows when I was in hospital, so they didn’t stick to their own “advice”.

Edenmum2 · 26/05/2025 10:25

#losethestompers

UnctuousUnicorns · 26/05/2025 10:25

DildoSaggins · 26/05/2025 09:52

Anyone else googling 'what is a stomper pillow?' 😂

(Meant to quote this post! 🤦‍♀️)

Me too. Although OP's explanation further down the thread makes it sound like the Premier Inn "firm" pillows? 🤷‍♀️

Sporadica · 26/05/2025 10:23

I'd let the sleepover go ahead, given that it's planned and it would inconvenience others to cancel it. If you think that your son has done wrong, tell him what not to do at the sleepover, and also talk to him at some point before or after when you have time for a full discussion. If a punishment is needed, it can still be applied.

KumquatHigh · 26/05/2025 10:22

Butchyrestingface · 26/05/2025 10:12

That’s what I saw.

Promptly ordered 5 to smite my enemies since we now have it on good authority from OP that peeps go down like a sack of spuds when hit with one.

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PRESS CANCEL! He is called Stomper, he’s not a stomper, your enemies are going to get an advantage.

justkeepswimingswiming · 26/05/2025 10:22

Do you mean he put a pillow on his face & stomped on it? What is a stomped pillow?

sweeneytoddsrazor · 26/05/2025 10:22

BIossomtoes · 26/05/2025 10:14

When was that law passed? Obviously we’re in danger of prosecution.

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It's what NHS recommends as best for your neck and back

MereNoelle · 26/05/2025 10:21

CrabbyPaty · 26/05/2025 10:16

No he would have known as soon as picked it up, they weigh a ton

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Apart from anything else, they don’t sound very comfortable.

faerietales · 26/05/2025 10:20

Cancelling the sleepover is a huge overreaction for what appears to be a genuine accident.

Just get rid of the pillows and move on.

Butchyrestingface · 26/05/2025 10:20

CrabbyPaty · 26/05/2025 10:16

No he would have known as soon as picked it up, they weigh a ton

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So I think the only fitting punishment for your son is to task him with writing an essay on the History of the Stomper Pillow (could be a mighty short essay, right enough), for the great and the good of Mumsnet.

Then report back here tout suite. Enquiring minds want to know.

WhateverWheneverWherever · 26/05/2025 10:19

We had a rule that punishments shouldn't impact other children.

Lol at the pillow debate, not heard of stompers either and I've lived in loads of places. We do have heavy under pillows like the OP describes, ours were also bequeathed, we call them the manky pillows, as they are and you have just prompted me to get rid🤣

HelpMeGetThrough · 26/05/2025 10:19

sweeneytoddsrazor · 26/05/2025 10:13

No idea what a stomper is but you should only use one pillow anyway.

Why’s that then?

UnctuousUnicorns · 26/05/2025 10:19

KimberleyClark · 26/05/2025 09:54

So did I and still not sure.

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I'm equally clueless. 😕

Onelifeonly · 26/05/2025 10:19

The thing is they had the "stomper" pillows and you know they liked play fighting with them. DS2 hit DS1 with one and he got a bloody nose. That was presumably not the intention, it just accidentally hit the wrong place.

You'd be wrong to impose a sanction other than that they can't play with those pillows, or preferably, just take them away.

Just because this time one got hurt by something you knew they did, doesn't mean a sleepover needs to get cancelled. That's unrelated other than I assume you are concerned similar could happen to the guest child. Just take steps to make sure it won't.

ClairDeLaLune · 26/05/2025 10:18

Butchyrestingface · 26/05/2025 10:12

That’s what I saw.

Promptly ordered 5 to smite my enemies since we now have it on good authority from OP that peeps go down like a sack of spuds when hit with one.

Show quote history

😂😂😂

Ponoka7 · 26/05/2025 10:18

Testing boundaries and getting hurt, is healthy behavior in children. It's something that modern life doesn't always allow for. It's good that he's only had a bloody nose. We'd slide down stairs on blankets, drag old mattresses and jump off anything we could (1970's childhood). The injuries were awful, but we learnt from them. They've learnt that rules exist to keep them safe, better now than jumping in canals/crossing ice at 14.

Poopeepoopee · 26/05/2025 10:18

Chuck the dangerous pillows away and let them have their sleepover.

It was an accident when they were just boys letting off steam. don't cancel.

UnctuousUnicorns · 26/05/2025 10:18

MiracleCures · 26/05/2025 09:52

What is a stomper?

Me! 👋

IPM · 26/05/2025 10:18

Westfacing · 26/05/2025 10:16

Irish and Welsh are keeping quiet...

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Irish here 🤣☘☘

We've always called them bolster pillows.

PumpkinSpicePie · 26/05/2025 10:17

Westfacing · 26/05/2025 10:16

Irish and Welsh are keeping quiet...

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New Zealand? South Africa? Have they been ruled out?

ClairDeLaLune · 26/05/2025 10:17

If you cancel the sleepover you’re punishing his friends too which is not fair on them. You need to find a different punishment which just affects him.

GreenSilverStripe · 26/05/2025 10:16

CrabbyPaty · 26/05/2025 10:16

No he would have known as soon as picked it up, they weigh a ton

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But in the midst of playing he just picked and swung, kids don’t think that much!

Supima · 26/05/2025 10:16

Hello! I think the OP meant BOLSTER pillow. You could definitely do someone a mischief with one of those. I’d keep the sleepover and ban all pillow fights

Westfacing · 26/05/2025 10:16

PumpkinSpicePie · 26/05/2025 10:11

No nationality or area has claimed ownership of stompers yet 😁

Irish and Welsh are keeping quiet...

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