Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To now allow DSs friend over because of pillow fight?

234 replies

CrabbyPaty · 26/05/2025 09:50

I don’t mind the kids playing with their pillows as I know a lot of their games involve the pillows - pillow fight, gladiators, paintballing etc but the rule is no stomper pillow. That’s it.

Last night they were playing upstairs when I heard crying, went up and DS1 had a bloodied nose, DS2 had whacked him in the face with a stomper pillow. He’s meant to be having a friend over tonight and I’m thinking of cancelling. DH said to just remove the stompers but I feel that is just masking DSs behaviour. Would I be going too far to cancel the sleepover?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
Blackdow · 26/05/2025 10:41

Letmecallyouback · 26/05/2025 10:37

Then why do hospitals always give you at least two or three pillows?

I only got one pillow both times when I gave birth! Had to ask for another to help prop me up for breastfeeding but they certainly didn’t want to give it to me.

Caerulea · 26/05/2025 10:41

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 26/05/2025 10:38

Well, it could have been worse if he had been whinnied with a thacket sheet.

(A thacket sheet goes between a stomper and a grobbit.)

That's just silly. We don't have grobbits here

To now allow DSs friend over because of pillow fight?
Letmecallyouback · 26/05/2025 10:40

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 26/05/2025 10:38

Well, it could have been worse if he had been whinnied with a thacket sheet.

(A thacket sheet goes between a stomper and a grobbit.)

Remind me never to have a sleepover at your house 😳😂

Blackdow · 26/05/2025 10:39

I think your family made up the name “stomper pillow.” That doesn’t exist!

TwoLeftSocksWithHoles · 26/05/2025 10:38

Well, it could have been worse if he had been whinnied with a thacket sheet.

(A thacket sheet goes between a stomper and a grobbit.)

Butchyrestingface · 26/05/2025 10:37

BlossomMoon · 26/05/2025 10:29

Only on Mumsnet could someone make up a bizarre name for pillows 😂

“Dear Mumsnet, I gave my children ‘stomper pillows’ to sleep on - so-named because they’re harder than the Stone of Destiny. They were free you see, and who likes to look a gift horse in the mouth?

They decided to have a pillow fight but because the pillows are rock hard and not like everyone else’s pillows, well, one of them now needs a new face.

They surely should have known better. How do I punish them - preferably in a way that will adversely affect someone who wasn’t involved in the fight?”

Koazy · 26/05/2025 10:37

I had a pillow once that we nicknamed The Sandbag as it was so heavy but in hindsight The Stomper would have been better.

Letmecallyouback · 26/05/2025 10:37

sweeneytoddsrazor · 26/05/2025 10:22

It's what NHS recommends as best for your neck and back

Then why do hospitals always give you at least two or three pillows?

MolkosTeenageAngst · 26/05/2025 10:36

CrabbyPaty · 26/05/2025 10:11

I don’t know to be honest, we were given them by DHs mum. They’re awful I don’t know why we use them. I thought everyone called them stompers but maybe not! They’re hard heavy pillows, old fashioned I imagine

Just get rid of the heavy pillows, they sound unnecessary and I think it’s confusing to the kids to allow pillow fights but only with certain pillows. Obviously once a child is hyped up and in the moment and they grab the wrong pillow they’re probably not in the right frame of mind to stop, put down the wrong pillow and find the right one, they’re just going to carry on with the heavy pillow. So either get rid of the heavy pillows or ban playing with pillows altogether or you’re just asking for this to keep happening.

Caerulea · 26/05/2025 10:34

Westfacing · 26/05/2025 10:29

Well that just leaves the Welsh... Hmm

I'm getting suspicious. The Welsh are NEVER this quiet about anything!

Maybe we should mention rugby?

Letmecallyouback · 26/05/2025 10:34

Butchyrestingface · 26/05/2025 10:12

That’s what I saw.

Promptly ordered 5 to smite my enemies since we now have it on good authority from OP that peeps go down like a sack of spuds when hit with one.

Me too. As this is all anonymous it’s possible I could unwittingly be one of your aforementioned enemies in which case I would need to counter smite your smite with a smite of my own forthwith! 😂

HuffleMyPuffle · 26/05/2025 10:32

Remove the pillows and ban pillow fights

You could cause injury hitting someone just wrong with a lighter pillow too

wheretoyougonow · 26/05/2025 10:32

If DS2 was shocked and remorseful it’s unlikely he will do it again and has learnt his lesson.
I would let the sleepover go ahead.

IPM · 26/05/2025 10:32

BoredZelda · 26/05/2025 10:29

Because NHS pillows are like tissue paper?

God not round here they're not.

I was in hospital last week and fantasised about stealing one!

Ellie1015 · 26/05/2025 10:31

Assuming ds realises he is wrong and shows some remorse and concern for his brother then that's it done. It is an accident.

If he is not bothered then I would be more angry about it. Still dont think i would cancel sleepover as not fair on other kid.

Pinkissmart · 26/05/2025 10:31

Jesus, kids have pillow fights.
This one ended in a bloody nose. Surely that is the only natural consequence needed here? Apart from telling them in a stern voice to pack it in. Why so extreme?

BlossomMoon · 26/05/2025 10:30

HelpMeGetThrough · 26/05/2025 10:25

Well in 53 years of using two pillows, my neck and back are fine, so the NHS can do one on that.

They also gave me two pillows when I was in hospital, so they didn’t stick to their own “advice”.

Edited

Yes but have you had a Stomper?

BoredZelda · 26/05/2025 10:29

BIossomtoes · 26/05/2025 10:27

Why do hospital beds have multiple pillows then?

Because NHS pillows are like tissue paper?

Sixtygpingonthirty · 26/05/2025 10:29

Mayflyoff · 26/05/2025 10:08

What's in the pillow to making it heavy?

Bricks 😆

Westfacing · 26/05/2025 10:29

IPM · 26/05/2025 10:18

Irish here 🤣☘☘

We've always called them bolster pillows.

Well that just leaves the Welsh... Hmm

BlossomMoon · 26/05/2025 10:29

Only on Mumsnet could someone make up a bizarre name for pillows 😂

IPM · 26/05/2025 10:29

xxxwd · 26/05/2025 10:26

Could you add a picture of the “stomper”?

Just Google 'bolster pillow', it's the same thing.

Butchyrestingface · 26/05/2025 10:28

sweeneytoddsrazor · 26/05/2025 10:22

It's what NHS recommends as best for your neck and back

The NHS has recommended I get my head as high as humanly possible on the bed due to asthma so it’s not a hard and fast rule and there are other considerations.

GinToBegin · 26/05/2025 10:28

Yep, sounds like a bolster to me. Denser, heavier pillow, sometimes double length/width with lighter pillow on top. Very old fashioned now, I expect, but I remember them being nice neck support for side sleepers.

No advice on the sleepover, sorry.

BIossomtoes · 26/05/2025 10:27

sweeneytoddsrazor · 26/05/2025 10:22

It's what NHS recommends as best for your neck and back

Why do hospital beds have multiple pillows then?