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Original poster

To now allow DSs friend over because of pillow fight?

234 replies

CrabbyPaty · 26/05/2025 09:50

I don’t mind the kids playing with their pillows as I know a lot of their games involve the pillows - pillow fight, gladiators, paintballing etc but the rule is no stomper pillow. That’s it.

Last night they were playing upstairs when I heard crying, went up and DS1 had a bloodied nose, DS2 had whacked him in the face with a stomper pillow. He’s meant to be having a friend over tonight and I’m thinking of cancelling. DH said to just remove the stompers but I feel that is just masking DSs behaviour. Would I be going too far to cancel the sleepover?

OP posts:
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5
SunnyViper · 26/05/2025 12:09

Just get rid of the stupid pillows🤷‍♂️

Communitywebbing · 26/05/2025 12:07

CrabbyPaty · 26/05/2025 10:55

They’re not bolsters, they look like normal pillows but you know those weighted dolls you can get? Or weighted door stop teddy’s? It’s that kind of weight

Well well, Mumsnet is so educational, stompers are a new one on me.
Oh, about your original question. Take away the stompers and tell the DC to be more careful in future. It's not fair to cancel plans with another family unless you really have to.

BobbyBiscuits · 26/05/2025 12:06

Is like a pouffe? Like a foot rest type thing but with padding?
Just take it away from them. Tell them if they try and find it and mess about with it again then they will be banned from sleepovers. At least temporarily.

Hoppinggreen · 26/05/2025 12:06

Piggywaspushed · 26/05/2025 11:54

Half American reporting in. Stopper Pillow. It's what you lot call a draught excluder. It's for floors.

You're welcome.

No, she said STOMPER and they go on beds apparently

RosesAndHellebores · 26/05/2025 12:03

I never allowed pillow fights/jumping on beds, etc, wrecking furniture.

I'd never have used a hard pillow as a base for soft pillows.

I wouldn’t punish the children for poor parenting.

HelpMeGetThrough · 26/05/2025 12:03

Piggywaspushed · 26/05/2025 11:54

Half American reporting in. Stopper Pillow. It's what you lot call a draught excluder. It's for floors.

You're welcome.

That’s Stopper. OP was talking about Stomper.

You’re Welcome.

Hoppinggreen · 26/05/2025 12:01

CrabbyPaty · 26/05/2025 10:02

Stomper pillows are very heavy pillows. The soft pillows go on top of the stompers.

No clearer.
I would say though that if something is going to be called "stomper" then someone is likely to hit someone with it.

Piggywaspushed · 26/05/2025 11:54

Half American reporting in. Stopper Pillow. It's what you lot call a draught excluder. It's for floors.

You're welcome.

PonyPatter44 · 26/05/2025 11:47

Pfft, kids fight. Occasionally it goes a bit far and someone gets a nosebleed or something. That's how they learn, to be honest.

Rachie1973 · 26/05/2025 11:47

Butchyrestingface · 26/05/2025 10:59

What other deadly weapons do you all sleep with?

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The heavy pillow stops the knife sliding out! Doh

jmh740 · 26/05/2025 11:47

FuzzyPuffling · 26/05/2025 10:04

I'm northern and I have no idea.

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Also Northern and no idea

oncemoreuntothebeachdearfriends · 26/05/2025 11:43

Know we know what stomper pillows are, next question is what country are they from?

MiracleCures · 26/05/2025 11:34

loropianalover · 26/05/2025 11:33

Is this thread a marketing ploy for stomper pillows?

We'll know when stomper pillows show up on "Mumsnet swears by" Grin

LurcherMumma · 26/05/2025 11:34

Bin them. They sound dangerous and you said that you don't like them. I can't think of a reason that you would want to keep them?

That out the way, I am assuming that you're cancelling the sleepover as punishment and not because you're concerned about a repeat accident?
I don't think I would if he was apologetic and otherwise had good behaviour around this. Otherwise, I don't think the punishment really matches the crime iyswim.

loropianalover · 26/05/2025 11:33

Is this thread a marketing ploy for stomper pillows?

MindlessDaydream · 26/05/2025 11:31

CrabbyPaty · 26/05/2025 10:55

They’re not bolsters, they look like normal pillows but you know those weighted dolls you can get? Or weighted door stop teddy’s? It’s that kind of weight

Buckwheat pillows?

https://putnams.co.uk/products/organic-buckwheat-hull-pillow

Organic Buckwheat Hull Pillow - 100% Cotton Cover

Sobakawa pillow filled with 100% organic buckwheat husks to improve sleep. Comes with 100% cotton undyed, unbleached cover.

https://putnams.co.uk/products/organic-buckwheat-hull-pillow

ginasevern · 26/05/2025 11:29

When I was a child everyone always had 2 pillows and the one underneath was much denser and heavier and I would imagine they could hurt if used strategically, especially a child. I'd forgotten all about them until this thread. In our case they were filled with feathers from our own fowls and were covered in very thick, thinly striped cotton (sort of like linen) but we didn't call them stomper pillows. I can't remember what we called them. I guess stomper is a regional name.

godmum56 · 26/05/2025 11:28

CrabbyPaty · 26/05/2025 10:11

I don’t know to be honest, we were given them by DHs mum. They’re awful I don’t know why we use them. I thought everyone called them stompers but maybe not! They’re hard heavy pillows, old fashioned I imagine

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you don't like them but you put them in the kids's room? How are kids supposed to understand that they can fight with this pillow but not with that one? Cuddle both the kids and trash the damn pillows!

Tiswa · 26/05/2025 11:26

the Thing is cancelling the sleepover means not only is a friend going to be upset at not coming there is every chance the parents have made plans based on it. Punishments shouldn’t effect others and this one would

Doctorkrank · 26/05/2025 11:25

Keep the sleepover, just get rid of the weird hard pillows. What on earth are they made of that induces a nosebleed anyway!

TeenLifeMum · 26/05/2025 11:24

They were having fun and it got too rough. You go in and deal with the medical needs, talk to the boys they they won’t be able to have sleep overs with each other if they can’t be trusted to behave sensibly, and that’s dealt with. Why would you drag it out and cancel the friend coming? It was an accident.

Butchyrestingface · 26/05/2025 11:23

Readytohealnow · 26/05/2025 11:02

Sounds like you’re looking for an excuse to hold host the other child.
Stick to your plans. Don’t be that parent.

She’s probably reconsidering the offer in light of the duvets being made of lead and the mattress is a bed of nails and maybe the other kid might not be used to such creature comforts…

nameobsessed · 26/05/2025 11:22

Butchyrestingface · 26/05/2025 10:28

The NHS has recommended I get my head as high as humanly possible on the bed due to asthma so it’s not a hard and fast rule and there are other considerations.

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This, I have six pillows on my bed. One would not only have me wake up gasping for air but also I imagine be very uncomfy.

Vaxtable · 26/05/2025 11:20

It’s an accident. Punish him some other way

edited to add get rid of the ‘stomper’ pillows as you don’t seem to like them anyway

spanishcheese · 26/05/2025 11:17

Give the child a penance, putting out the rubbish, dishwasher, clean the toilet or something he'll hate doing. Leave the playdate in place.