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AIBU?

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Original poster

To now allow DSs friend over because of pillow fight?

234 replies

CrabbyPaty · 26/05/2025 09:50

I don’t mind the kids playing with their pillows as I know a lot of their games involve the pillows - pillow fight, gladiators, paintballing etc but the rule is no stomper pillow. That’s it.

Last night they were playing upstairs when I heard crying, went up and DS1 had a bloodied nose, DS2 had whacked him in the face with a stomper pillow. He’s meant to be having a friend over tonight and I’m thinking of cancelling. DH said to just remove the stompers but I feel that is just masking DSs behaviour. Would I be going too far to cancel the sleepover?

OP posts:
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Pinty · 26/05/2025 13:00

I have no idea what a stomper pillow is but if you don't want them to use it just remove it.
Children get over excited when playing like that and can't always control themselves so i don't think you can blame them for getting carried away. Personally I wouldn't allow a pillow fight at all but if you do you are to accept someone might get hurt
I don't think you should cancel the play date

lolstevelol · 26/05/2025 12:55

DildoSaggins · 26/05/2025 09:52

Anyone else googling 'what is a stomper pillow?' 😂

LOL I did and just read your comment straight after hahah

myotheraccountsa · 26/05/2025 12:53

CrabbyPaty · 26/05/2025 09:50

I don’t mind the kids playing with their pillows as I know a lot of their games involve the pillows - pillow fight, gladiators, paintballing etc but the rule is no stomper pillow. That’s it.

Last night they were playing upstairs when I heard crying, went up and DS1 had a bloodied nose, DS2 had whacked him in the face with a stomper pillow. He’s meant to be having a friend over tonight and I’m thinking of cancelling. DH said to just remove the stompers but I feel that is just masking DSs behaviour. Would I be going too far to cancel the sleepover?

Stomper pillows aside...has nobody else picked up on Paintballing and Gladiators? I think I'd be cancelling for fear of all out bedroom warfare...

Piggywaspushed · 26/05/2025 12:51

I am awaiting the MIL thread where MIL is furious that her gifted stomper/stopper pillows have vanished.

MiracleCures · 26/05/2025 12:50

BigPinkKnees · 26/05/2025 12:45

Just as we were getting somewhere with stomper pillows, along comes a Rutherford punishment. Sounds a bit extreme. Does it involve nuclear reactions? 🤯

Just seen it might refer to a secondary type of punishment. Well, every day is a school day in here!

Edited
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I'd be meting out Rutherford punishments if I got into bed to find my pillow was just some bricks wrapped in a pretty cover.

BigPinkKnees · 26/05/2025 12:45

sesquipedalian · 26/05/2025 11:11

OP, pillows aside, you can’t bail on a friend at such short notice. I expect your DS was sufficiently shocked by having given his brother a nosebleed that no Rutherford punishment is necessary - and I bet you said something in the moment that made him well and truly aware that he’d done wrong! Just get rid of the sandbag pillows - they sound dangerous!

Edited

Just as we were getting somewhere with stomper pillows, along comes a Rutherford punishment. Sounds a bit extreme. Does it involve nuclear reactions? 🤯

Just seen it might refer to a secondary type of punishment. Well, every day is a school day in here!

MyDeftDuck · 26/05/2025 12:40

These pillows sound dangerous…….chuck them away before someone gets hurt again. FWIW, I’d still let the dis have his friend for a sleepover but do explain to all your children why the pillows have been removed and to be more careful in future.

Lighteningstrikes · 26/05/2025 12:36

Omgod they’re brothers.

Do you honestly never expect any accidents. It’s how they learn.

You need to be realistic.

As long as he was genuinely sorry and won’t do it again, what’s the problem??

Wigglypasta · 26/05/2025 12:35

Are they memory foam pillows? Those can be heavy and as comfortable as sleeping on a slab of concrete.

Maray1967 · 26/05/2025 12:30

FuzzyPuffling · 26/05/2025 10:04

I'm northern and I have no idea.

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Same here!

Bournetilly · 26/05/2025 12:29

Get rid of the pillows. It’s not fair on the other child to have the sleepover cancelled YABU.

butteredhorseradish · 26/05/2025 12:28

Just get rid of the stomper pillows permanently.

You can't really expect kids involved in a pillow fight to work out which ones are stomper pillows and therefore forbidden and which ones are ok.

MiracleCures · 26/05/2025 12:28

Piggywaspushed · 26/05/2025 12:25

Thank you! I believed I was providing Stateside 'wisdom' as a nationality not yet invoked.

Yes I think your explanation makes the most sense!

Piggywaspushed · 26/05/2025 12:25

Thank you! I believed I was providing Stateside 'wisdom' as a nationality not yet invoked.

AthWat · 26/05/2025 12:23

HelpMeGetThrough · 26/05/2025 12:03

That’s Stopper. OP was talking about Stomper.

You’re Welcome.

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Yes but the question isn't "what is a stomper pillow" - it isn't anything. It's something the OP or whoever told her has misunderstood and misheard. Nobody but them has ever used the word.
The question is "where did the OP get this from" and this, if true, seems a fairly likely explanation for what that thing the OP misheard might be.

Sandy792 · 26/05/2025 12:22

Get rid of the pointless things and the stomper issue is over forever.

Don't cancel on the poor child that is excited to be coming round to play.

Longhotsummers · 26/05/2025 12:22

Oh, and don’t cancel the friend coming over.

Piggywaspushed · 26/05/2025 12:22

I think the harder pillows are to stop up the gap between mattress and wall or headboard. They wedge there and then fluffy pillows propped in front. Again sometimes called stopper pillows. Maybe OP misheard MIL and it's stuck?

Longhotsummers · 26/05/2025 12:21

Kiwi here - never heard of them in NZ. Mind you, Aussies call a duvet a doona. Go figure!
Any other nations able to report? This is like the Eurovision results 😝

LakieLady · 26/05/2025 12:15

PumpkinSpicePie · 26/05/2025 10:14

Sounds like they should be called Danger Pillows

The Pillows of Peril...

Piggywaspushed · 26/05/2025 12:15

HelpMeGetThrough · 26/05/2025 12:03

That’s Stopper. OP was talking about Stomper.

You’re Welcome.

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In my mother's American voice they sound quite similar!

Ivyy · 26/05/2025 12:12

I need a stomper pillow explanation, are they used in certain countries op? Or is it an old fashioned British thing I’ve never heard of?

I wouldn’t cancel the sleepover as it impacts other people, I’d think of something that will only negatively impact ds who caused the nosebleed if you’re sure it wasn’t an accident

Heronwatcher · 26/05/2025 12:12

Honestly just get rid of the shit sounding pillows.

I really don’t understand people who put things like this around their kids and then create “rules” which are very obviously going to be broken. It’s like putting a fountain in a park which looks almost exactly like a paddling pool and then putting signs all around it to stop kids paddling in it, just like torture. Having pillow fights but only with specific pillows ON THE SAME BED as the ones you’re allowed to use is just asking for trouble.

Communitywebbing · 26/05/2025 12:10

MiracleCures · 26/05/2025 11:14

I finally found a picture of the stomper pillow!

Ooh, thank you, there's one in my garden I'll be able to use.

CantStopMoving · 26/05/2025 12:09

MiracleCures · 26/05/2025 09:56

Weird pillows aside, it's really crap as a child if you have been looking forward to seeing a friend and then you suddenly find out it's cancelled because the friend's parents decided to make not seeing you the punishment.

I had a friend whose parents did that. When I was about 8/9 I remember waiting at the window for her to arrive and then when it past the time she was due they called to say she wasn’t coming as she was being punished for something . I cried the rest of the day. I can remember it like yesterday as I was really looking forward to it.