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AIBU?

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To now allow DSs friend over because of pillow fight?

234 replies

CrabbyPaty · 26/05/2025 09:50

I don’t mind the kids playing with their pillows as I know a lot of their games involve the pillows - pillow fight, gladiators, paintballing etc but the rule is no stomper pillow. That’s it.

Last night they were playing upstairs when I heard crying, went up and DS1 had a bloodied nose, DS2 had whacked him in the face with a stomper pillow. He’s meant to be having a friend over tonight and I’m thinking of cancelling. DH said to just remove the stompers but I feel that is just masking DSs behaviour. Would I be going too far to cancel the sleepover?

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Sn0wwhyte · 31/05/2025 22:00

Westfacing · 26/05/2025 10:06

Could be Scottish - sounds like one of their strange words! Grin

Their 'strange words'. Hmm, i think you've mis-spelt 'rich, proud, local vocabulary and cultural terms' there. 🙄

Arran2024 · 31/05/2025 15:01

Since most of us seem to sleep fine and have tidy looking beds without 'stomper' pillows, I don't see why you need to keep them.

pollymere · 30/05/2025 14:37

I had my nose broken and my jaw dislocated by someone hitting me with a pillow. It can actually be quite violent.

LarsPorsenaofClusium · 28/05/2025 10:37

Another one who's been cheered up by this thread. I am 78 and carer for a disabled husband so laughs are few and far between. Thanks for all the witty comments.

Nevernottrying · 28/05/2025 08:42

N.Z here and never heard of this term !

Justontherightsideofnormal · 28/05/2025 08:21

@CrabbyPatyare they a dunlopillo ? We have those and I’d imagine if I was hit with one of ours it would hurt.

Persianpaws · 28/05/2025 04:30

I don’t think the OP is ever going to elaborate…

uncomfortablydumb60 · 28/05/2025 00:45

I have 3 boys who got into similar scrapes( one involving a bunk bed and a broken window) It's how they learn. Remove the heavy pillows and replace them. No point telling them not to.They wind each other up and shit happens.
Tell the culprit to apologise to his brother and then have the sleepover.

BooneyBeautiful · 28/05/2025 00:19

I have no comment to make on the OP, but this thread is literally making me cry with laughter!

BooneyBeautiful · 28/05/2025 00:17

ginasevern · 26/05/2025 11:29

When I was a child everyone always had 2 pillows and the one underneath was much denser and heavier and I would imagine they could hurt if used strategically, especially a child. I'd forgotten all about them until this thread. In our case they were filled with feathers from our own fowls and were covered in very thick, thinly striped cotton (sort of like linen) but we didn't call them stomper pillows. I can't remember what we called them. I guess stomper is a regional name.

I remember those pillows now! I can't remember what they were called, but they were definitely heavier than the pillows we use these days.

BooneyBeautiful · 28/05/2025 00:03

MereNoelle · 26/05/2025 10:05

Me too!

BooneyBeautiful · 28/05/2025 00:02

CrabbyPaty · 26/05/2025 10:02

Stomper pillows are very heavy pillows. The soft pillows go on top of the stompers.

When I Googled it to ask what it was, it said it was a plush toy!

Hmwales · 27/05/2025 22:34

Please tell us what a stomper pillow is 🤔

GoldenGail · 27/05/2025 22:06

Westfacing · 26/05/2025 10:06

Could be Scottish - sounds like one of their strange words! Grin

I’m as Scottish as they come and never heard of it

MereNoelle · 27/05/2025 21:19

GiveDogBone · 27/05/2025 21:17

Oh the poor little friend who won’t be able to come over for his planned sleepover. Jeez some people are just absolutely incapable of holding the line on any consequences for bad behaviour. Any excuse will do for them. Their children must be spoilt brats.

Kids play dates / sleepovers get cancelled and rearrange all the time. Family emergencies, illnesses, etc. And yes, bad behaviour. Unless they’re a complete snowflake they’ll deal with it.

It’s not the friend’s bad behaviour though is it? By all means punish the child who actually did the bad deed.

GiveDogBone · 27/05/2025 21:17

Oh the poor little friend who won’t be able to come over for his planned sleepover. Jeez some people are just absolutely incapable of holding the line on any consequences for bad behaviour. Any excuse will do for them. Their children must be spoilt brats.

Kids play dates / sleepovers get cancelled and rearrange all the time. Family emergencies, illnesses, etc. And yes, bad behaviour. Unless they’re a complete snowflake they’ll deal with it.

Nikki75 · 27/05/2025 19:59

Stomper pillow sounds like a heavy pillow that ... not really fair on sons friend is it .

ByPeachLemur · 27/05/2025 19:29

I

independentfriend · 27/05/2025 18:45

I think more supervision than you had originally planned for the kids during the sleepover is a better idea than cancelling it.

LaDamaDeElche · 27/05/2025 18:09

Any punishment I ever gave DD when she was younger never involved punishing her friends as a result. His friend hasn’t done anything. Change the pillows, drama over.

Persianpaws · 26/05/2025 21:03

TonTonMacoute · 26/05/2025 15:00

I know what you mean. We've got a couple of telly solid, heavy pillows which came with DH, I had no idea that's what they were called. I don't like them, DH loves his though.

Buy your DCs new light pillows, remove the stompers and let the friend come for the sleepover.

Now we have “telly solid” pillows?!

Thank you OP for starting this thread it has made me laugh for the first time after a truly awful week, I feel a bit guilty that I’m laughing about a child being beaten by weapons so I hope your DS is ok.

I do feel we need more info about these danger pillows though and a picture if possible? I love the way we have united many regions and countries in order to find answers and I think this much effort deserves further explanation. Was it your MIL who referred to them as “stompers?” Why do you sleep on what are essentially bricks? Do you agree with the stomper/stopper theory? Have you never questioned your MIL gifting you heavy weaponry?
I hope your DH doesn’t snore? When DP snores I sometimes fantasise about smothering him with a pillow but it always seems too much effort when I’m exhausted, if I was sleeping with something on the bed that could do the job for me I bet he’d sleep with one eye open 😂.

I think a pp has solved your problem of where to send them with the perfect suggested recipient, I’d enjoy seeing that particular pillow fight play out. He already lives in a fantasy land so doesn’t need any games suggested.

ohyesido · 26/05/2025 17:16

I have two tempur pillows that would take a door off it’s hinges if swung so I know what the OP meant

KumquatHigh · 26/05/2025 16:43

Straight down to the charity shop really

Charity shops don’t want used pillows that have been used to beat a child.

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