Keeping pictures from previous relationships

It’s completely normal to have photos from relationships past. In fact, I’m pretty sure I still have some deep in the depths of Facebook from previous relationships. I’ve been with Dh 17 years. I definitely have photo albums full somewhere.

That was my life. I’m not going to just delete my life because I’m happily married now.

Now, NSFW sort of photos and videos, yes. I would expect those to be deleted at the end of a relationship out of respect to the other person. But I’ve never exchanged such things so can’t speak to that. 😂

And I would leave him for that! And definitely delete anything you've sent him, as you know he's indiscreet.

I think you were a bit too coy about what was actually on the photos.

Arms around each other, fine.

Sexual not fine. He should delete out of respect for her at least. That's not so he can look back with fond memories as an old man. That's for the spank bank. 🤮

I have my wedding album from my first marriage - it is part of my history. I ended it so why would someone expect me to throw it away?

I love a good photo! Back in the good old days of disposable cameras...where you only had 27 pictures so had to make them count.

Had to wait a week to see them printed. And was thrilled when there was one picture where you didn't have red eyes.

There was even what I call 'old school dick pics' where a random on a night out seemingly took a photo of down their pants.

It's all memories. The good, the bad, the messy! It's lovely to have a bit of nostalgia.

I understand it might not be pleasant having an ex pop up in your face but it's not like he has framed pictures next to the bed....so I couldn't get worked up about this personally.

(On another note) I was with my most recent boyfriend and woke up to the smell of petrol?!? To see he was having a lovely bonfire out my back garden and burned the lot. I'd guess atleast 5000 pictures of my whole life. Childhood. Deceased loved ones....

All because there was pictures of my ex.

Devastated doesn't cut it. Not because I harbour any feeling towards my ex in the slightest. Because that's my life. Those were my memories.

Get him to pop them in another folder and problem solved!

I have photos because everything backs up on my Google account now. Not all of them, but I just haven't got round to deleting them. My partner's seen them but he's never even mentioned it. It's not a big deal to us it's all in the past

He had a life before you met him. You can’t erase that nor should you want to. There’s no way I’d delete photos because someone else wanted me to. He was happy with people before you met. If it was going to last you wouldn’t be together. This is more about your insecurities.
Just don’t look at his laptop, it’s not yours anyway.

I would never delete any photos of my past and anyone that asked me to would be dropped very quickly. My past is my past. I'm not ashamed of it and I'm not hiding anything away. No-one has the right to make me pretend that previous people, places or events were not important to me.

My Partner has his in seperate folders. He does also have physical photos. The holiday was once in a lifetime, after a redundancy payout. I wouldn't expect him to destroy them. Likewise I can't get rid of my children/grandchildren to my DH.

I thought of suggesting he files them in a separate folder away from his main one or archive it somewhere instead, but i dont even think that’s right. Why keep them for God’s sake if the relationship has ended?

You are suggesting two options

-archive them
-keep them in a separate folder somewhere

both of which I would argue are unnecessary to be honest, but neither are what you actually want to happen, are they?! You don't even think that's right and don't understand why he should want to even keep them if the relationship has ended?! I think you need to reflect on how controlling that is.

Maybe just stop nosing through his laptop photos and get your own computer...

No one should have to delete old pictures and there is no issue with having them. They are part of your partner’s history. You are being very unreasonable and jealous.

I have kept photos from previous relationships. Mine are from an era when people took photos, had them developed and put them in albums!! Yes, I have kept the albums, and they are stored in a bookcase in my lounge. I'm married, have been for nearly 17 years and been with my husband 19. I don't sit and look at the albums, but they are part of my past, and I would be upset if he suggested I should destroy them. We all have a past, we can't change that past (although I'm sure some of us wish we could change some aspects!) and no one should ask us to erase it either. If I decided to destroy the photo albums, that's my choice, but it shouldn't be anyone else's. Your partner can put the pictures of his ex in a specific folder, if he wants to keep them, and change settings so they don't automatically appear. He shouldn't feel he must delete the pictures to please you, that decision should be his, and his only, based on his own choice.

You will ruin this relationship. If you really can't get over it, maybe he could create a separate folder.

I have old pictures of my ex's ..I never ever thought I'd have to get rid of them...they in storage in my inlaws house. It's part of the past and the past makes you.... Yabu.

I would expect sexy ones to go but rando holiday snaps? Eh keep them. Don't care.

She may not be asking him but she's made it clear to us that she wants them deleted.

I thought of suggesting he files them in a separate folder away from his main one or archive it somewhere instead, but i dont even think that’s right. Why keep them for God’s sake if the relationship has ended?

Why is it not right? It sounds like the perfect solution.

She was a part of his life and as long as he's not staring at them everyday and pining after her, of course he should keep them.

As grown ups we have to accept that our partners had relationships before us.

I mean some even have kids. Would you expect those people to delete all photos of them involving the other parent?

Definitely depends on the photos.

My DH and I have been married a long time and have a happy, loving marriage but we both still have a few 'holiday' photos with exes on. We kept them, not for the ex, but of the photos of holidays that we enjoyed and places we enjoyed visiting and because they were happy memories and experiences.

There is the odd photo of family occasions with all my family on that my ex is also on and I am so glad I have it as looking at the photo now, many of the people on it have passed away. So it reminds me of happy times.

Any other random photos of our exes we have both got rid of. Absolutely no need to keep those.

I know its weird, seeing photos of your partner with their ex, but they had a life before you and its unreasonable to expect them to destroy happy memories.

If you are secure in your relationship, this kind of thing honestly shouldn't matter.

But the op is not asking him to delete them

I would think it a major red flag if someone wanted me to delete my history.

I’ve got photos of ex’s, I even have my wedding album from 20 years ago! I can barely remember the man, but they are a part of my history. Absolutely nothing wrong with keeping them and it has no reflection at all on my love for DP. Maybe don’t use his laptop!?!

Don't use his laptop

You can't ask him to edit his past just to make you happy. If you were a woman posting that your man had asked you to file (Hide) pictures from your past, we'd all be saying its a red flag and controlling.