Racist husband

I think we need to be careful about asking posters to repeat racist remarks. It was enough that both his colleague and his own wife found it racist, and he already hinted he wants his child to marry a white person - maybe let’s leave it at that. She has painted a pretty clear picture already.

I’ve seen people repeat the most awful things on here to prove it was indeed racism to others who kept asking - and you still get posters denying it anyway.

It clearly sounds as if by local English he means white English. Could you clarify OP?

And he can have his preference who his children marry for whatever reason but he seems too fixated on it.

When Op tried to tell him that values and the person inside matter most he wasn’t having it.

That is a bad attitude and a sign of a racist mindset if it’s “local English” at all costs as opposed to just something he would prefer.

And no marrying a “local English” (assuming that means white English l) if that’s not your heritage will not necessarily protect you from issues immigrants have as a lot of that is based on race. So if you happen to share that race /religion you won’t escape the prejudice. Eg. My British Pakistani Muslim boss is married to a white English man but has still faced racism and Islamophobia

Arranged marriage perhaps?

I’d like to know too. I make all sorts of jokes some younger ones might consider racist because they’ve never experienced actual racism (They’re about my own race)

i don’t see anything wrong with wanting to marry a local English or whatever. It makes sense if you want your kids to not have the same difficulties as an immigrant

Jeez, what a prat. Hope your teenage son marries whoever he wants to marry - or not at all. How about someone nice who treats him well?

What did he say to his colleagues that they found racist?

Oh it happens

Good grief. It doesn’t bother you in the slightest?

Wow.

He's a racist and you're a nazi?

There are many version of racism, it may not be skin colour related. I'm just trying to think why OPs husband called her a nazi fascist when she believes him to be racist. It sounds like they have opposite views on something that could be deemed racist either way? Supporting opposite sides in a conflict perhaps?

Either way he talks across OP, they argue all the time, he has 'extreme' views but thinks they are harmless, even though they are upsetting his partner and causing all these rows. He sounds awful. I agree OP, there is probably no where back from this. Best of luck

I agree with pp regarding @1SillySossij This is why so many people feel emboldened to share their views with all and sundry. It’s normalised in their friendship /family circles and they don’t get any pushback.

Even if a racist isn’t “actively harassing random minorities” they will very likely still be affecting them negatively. Eg. A friend of mine was on a train once. She was actually on her way to meet me, and she overheard two men in suits talking about how the “Black candidate was obviously much better but of course we had to give it to the white guy” and there was a lot of backslapping and chortling. They made it quite clear it was a racially motivated decision. I doubt they are the type to hurl racial abuse at a random but here they are damaging someone’s career progression.

At least those two men were self aware as racist as they were.

Many more won’t even acknowledge their actions are influenced by their views. They’ll just quietly give their non-white employees worse grades on performance reviews, make them redundant first etc, make a racist joke at a party, treat customers of certain races worse, encourage anti (insert race) views etc, leave certain neighbours out of the party their organising and so on…

And all the while they pretend to themselves they’re not harming anyone with their racism

@Chocolate85 I couldn’t agree more

It doesn’t bother you in the slightest that you have some friends and family who treat people differently/ discriminate against people because of the colour of their skin?!? Wow! I couldn’t be friends with someone who tolerated racism.
It doesn’t bother me that my friends hold different political views, that they have different tastes, that they live differently to me. It absolutely would bother me if my friends had views that were so disgusting.

You what?

you have friends and family that are racist, although they don’t hassle minorities - and you have absolutely no problem with that

are you alright in the head?

It doesn't bother you in the slightest that your friends and family are racist?

Wow.

He called you a racist? Why?

What are his views?

He is right, everyone is entitled to their own views and opinions.

It’s just a shame that his are repugnant and make him a disgusting human being. I could not be with anyone like this. Ever.

As a foreign immigrant to the UK with no further family here, I don't spend time with racists on a point of principle. If you're in a similar situation, I suggest you do the same. I refuse to waste time on people who essentially hate what I am.

Why are you friends with people who are racist.

What sort of racist beliefs does he think are harmless?

I can't understand whether he called you a nazi and a fascist, or he called you that?
I'm not a racist and My dh isn't a racis, but I have friends and family members who are. I mean that as in their vales and beliefs, not that they go tlround harassing minorities. It doesn't bother me on the slightest. They are entitled to their own opinions even if I don't agree.

Are you German? Is that why he was racist? Is he racist generally?

You need to provide more context and info but I suspect the wine is talking and perhaps you won’t be back. If you do read this, I agree with a PP, unless he has been radicalised since you married him, you knew this about him beforehand and made your decision.
i think racism is right up there with all the red flags and least attractive traits in a human so, I would leave without a backward glance. No way would I tolerate that.

Why was a racist calling you a nazi and a fascist?