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Original poster

Should grandparent speak like this infront of a child?

32 replies

Namechangerydoo · 25/05/2025 20:31

Long story short, child age 7 with grandparent yesterday until tomorrow, grandparent rarely bothers usually. Child cried to come home and grandparent has phone partner giving it “f this I am not having them again. Ruined my effing weekend. We’re coming home” infront of my child while they are crying in the background.

OP posts:
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MeganM3 · 25/05/2025 23:24

I’d end all contact. Some people think nothing of this sort of behaviour and language infront of a child. But I think it’s really damaging and should absolutely be avoided.
I would not want anyone swearing around my child or being so nasty about them infront of them. I’d drive there now and get them, never communicate to grandparents again - end of story.

Womblingmerrily · 25/05/2025 23:20

I don't think 7 is at all young to feel homesick when you're somewhere you don't know with people you don't know that well.

It's infant school age or at the most 1st year juniors - and schools generally only start to take children away for one night or so at this age - that's with people they know well and homesickness is still an issue for many children.

barofsoap · 25/05/2025 21:39

some grandparents are no longer capable of caring for young children, they might think they are but it was all too long ago. don't leave the child with them alone again

Glamgenzmami · 25/05/2025 21:35

Glamgenzmami · 25/05/2025 21:21

Grandparent called my child a snob all because they were dressed and groomed well. Then, when I pulled her up on it she said that it wasn’t a rude comment and I had taken offence to it simply because my culture is different to hers. Can you believe that?

Surely a loving grandparent wouldn’t speak to them like this.

SALaw · 25/05/2025 21:25

Namechangerydoo · 25/05/2025 20:31

Felt very passive aggressive infront of my child who was upset.

It’s not passive aggressive, it’s aggressive

user28288 · 25/05/2025 21:24

Would never be going again if it were me. The mama bear in me would not let it happen 🤣

TheWonderhorse · 25/05/2025 21:23

Obviously that's an awful way to speak in front of the child.

I would say that 7 is quite old for that behaviour. Especially if it was just one more night with them though, GPs probably felt them ungrateful that their effort wasn't enough to please them, rather than understanding that kids miss their parents sometimes.

As a tip, when my DD stayed at my mother's I'd send her with her tablet with a secure messaging app. Wire I think it was called, and she could only message me from there. If she woke in the night and couldn't sleep or if she just needed a bit of reassurance, she could contact me any time. It helped.

allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 25/05/2025 21:21

@Namechangerydoo is this your parent or your partner's parent???

Glamgenzmami · 25/05/2025 21:21

Grandparent called my child a snob all because they were dressed and groomed well. Then, when I pulled her up on it she said that it wasn’t a rude comment and I had taken offence to it simply because my culture is different to hers. Can you believe that?

Womblingmerrily · 25/05/2025 21:16

I think you were unreasonable to send your child.

They clearly don't know your child well enough to have them for long period of time or overnight.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 25/05/2025 21:16

Not ok, don’t let them have grandchild again and when asking in future, remind them

^^ this! Absolutely never again.

I also thing it’s plain aggressive, not passive aggressive.

Original poster
Namechangerydoo · 25/05/2025 21:14

They’ll be back within the next hour. So thanks for all replies, I wasn’t sure if I was biased they won’t be going again.

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OneNewLeader · 25/05/2025 21:13

I’d cut this dumpster fire of a holiday short, I’d leave first quickly, collect my child, thank the grandparents for the ‘weekend’ and chalk it up to experience.

Original poster
Namechangerydoo · 25/05/2025 21:12

Honestly I thought it would be nice form them, I asked if they wanted to go and they were really excited and every time they did see the grandparent they were really happy.

OP posts:
JustAMum31 · 25/05/2025 21:07

Enthusiasticcarrotgrower · 25/05/2025 21:01

I would say aggressive, not just passive aggressive!

@Enthusiasticcarrotgrower Exactly what I came to say too!

@Namechangerydoo I’d be furious! What did your partner say to GP when they said that?

I agree with others though - very strange to send your kid away for multiple nights with people they barely see. Poor child is probably really uncomfortable 😔

Enthusiasticcarrotgrower · 25/05/2025 21:01

I would say aggressive, not just passive aggressive!

arethereanyleftatall · 25/05/2025 20:55

No one is going to respond ‘oh yes, of course it’s a lovely way to speak to a child’ are they?!?
anyway, it’s all moot, you obvo won’t send them again and the gp doesn’t want them again, so everyone’s on the same page.

Springadorable · 25/05/2025 20:52

I think it's very odd to pack them off for multiple nights with a grandparent they hardly see and who clearly isn't interested in them. You shouldn't have sent them and they absolutely shouldn't have said that in front of them.

rubbishtv · 25/05/2025 20:46

Poor child,definitely needs to come home and not stay there again!!
Edit to say I have never sworn in front of my children and they are all adults now.

CinnamonBuns67 · 25/05/2025 20:46

I'd be upset too and I'd not let this grandparent have the child on their own again. Now I'm not particularly fussed if someone casually drops the f bomb infront of my child (unless excessively) but it sounds aggressive and grandparents behaviour really frightened your child so I'd be supervising visits with this grandparent until 1. Child feels safe round this grandparent and 2. Grandparent recognises that they was out of order and work on their self regulation skills so this doesn't happen again.

Mushypeasandchipstogo · 25/05/2025 20:43

I would never let them see, let alone have them stay with that grandparent again. Disgusting behaviour!

Original poster
Namechangerydoo · 25/05/2025 20:40

Yes I was going to pick them up then she said she is packing and coming home , so would be quicker for them to come than for me to go all the way there and back and they will definitely not be around her unsupervised again after this

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LoveTheLake525 · 25/05/2025 20:40

I just can't imagine a grandparent with an attitude like that.

thank god they don't usually bother with her. If she was mine they wouldn't be seeing her again.

what has your partner said?

CornishDew · 25/05/2025 20:38

Not ok, don’t let them have grandchild again and when asking in future, remind them

We had similar about a year ago. DD told me she cried herself to sleep as she wanted to call me and they refused, told her to go back to bed and left her to cry. She no longer stays or even goes out for the day with them anymore

MyIvyGrows · 25/05/2025 20:37

Nope. Not ok. Rude and unkind.