7 year old won’t tell me what she plays with friend

I was pretty imaginative as a kid and my games revolved around this pretty rich fantasy world - didn't like to share it with adults just because I thought they'd think it was silly or something. Can't remember if this had its roots in anyone actually calling me silly or similar. But it was nothing bad.

I can remember disliking being asked about this sort of thing when I was a kid. I didn’t mind saying what I’d done at school, but I didn’t like telling adults about any imaginative games I played. I think I just felt irritated to be questioned about something I considered was none of their business.

That’s probably it, then.

I don’t think you can stop your child from playing with an imaginary gun or play-fighting. You don’t have to buy them toy guns but you can’t really police kids’ imaginations.

I read ‘my 6 year old DGS used to be making potions with his wee’ and thought well that explains why he didn’t tell you 😂😂

They play at your house. Surely you see what they are doing?

Sounds just like DGD, when did 7 year old get so sassy!🤣🤣

Is she normally very chatty and open about what she's been doing? How well do you know the family of her little friend? It's certainly possible that she thinks you'd disapprove of them playing with guns/fighting or looking at stuff on the computer. If you're friendly with the mum, why not have a chat with her and say DD got quite cross when you asked what they played and see what she says?

None of mine would ever say what they’d done at school all day. We used to joke they’d had their memories wiped as they left the classroom. Some kids talk, others don’t.

I can't see the problem if it's not to do with concerns for adults that may be around.
If you trust the people supervising them surely kids just do imaginative play that isn't that easy to describe. It probably makes no sense but is fun for them. You don't need to know exactly 'what' they play.

I think you have to either trust unsupervised play dates or go with him to be honest. Since you already told him you don’t approve of how he plays he’s probably either trying not to make you upset or honestly can’t really answer because they just faffed around playing many things simultaneously. My kids can hardly ever tell me exactly what happened at a play date and from watching their friends here I can’t imagine anyone can say exactly what happens at mine.

jeez - her! You were super clear you have a daughter so no idea why I can’t read.

My 5yo DS doesn't tell me what he plays at school, and is quite secretive about friends in general. I've no idea why and don't push it. When he has playdates they play all sorts from pirates and gun games to "mummies and daddies". His teachers say he's very social and plays loads. I think some kids arent very good at relating things.

Having said that, I'd personally not he comfortable with me kid playing away from me at that age, unless with a very close friend's children or family member.

Exactly what I was thinking.

I think not wanting to be quizzed about their day is quite normal at this age. Can you not tell from her reaction whether she's just generally irritated at the question or scared/upset and hiding something?

My DC2 doesn't like to part with any information about their day, who they played with, what they played, what they had for lunch, what they learned etc. Unless you have concerns I wouldn't be too worried.

Probably playing "doctor" if she doesn't want to tell you..

My 7 year old DGD doesn't like to be asked what she has been doing at school, what she did at Daddies etc. I have to trick her into saying, I say tell me one thing you learnt at school today that I won't know, or bet you and Daddy rode your bikes and she will then part with some info. I don't think not wanting to say is odd.

They probably play watching television and being on tablets.

slow typer saying almost word for word what PP has

My 7 year old DGS used to be making potions with his wee friend. It was a secret - until it was finished. A plant pot with leaves, twigs, petals and washing up liquid.....Harmless play. His Mum did have a chat with him about secrets. It was a secret he was going to marry me when he was older. So precious.

And if you don't like the games that the boy plays, don't let her go there unsupervised. You can't expect to send her there knowing that he like playing those games and have the strength at 7 to say "sorry, no, mum doesn't like me playing them". You're expecting an awful lot from a 7yo.

@Isitbathorbarth Then don't let her go to other people's houses unsupervised. When DD was 7 a parent or caregiver was always around, even if it was just in the background - usually the host. So I got most of my info about what DD had done when she wasn't with me from the parent (usually) or nanny. If you're not comfortable asking the host parent what they got up to, then you don't know them well enough to have your DD go over there without you. You can't expect a 7yo to always be able to be that articulate.

I just couldn’t NOT know. My eyes would be on her all the time I don’t care whose house she’s at I’ll pop round for a nosey. No mysteries with my child. Sorry to sound harsh but.. I wouldn’t be sitting scratching my head that’s for sure.