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AIBU?

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Aibu to think being unphotogenic is a thing

96 replies

PinkChaires · 25/05/2025 19:20

My DD1 (17)bless her has never been the most photogenic. It wasnt as bad as a baby/child, she just looked a bit different than real life but as she got older its clear she just doesn’t photograph well at all. In real life (in my biased opinion) shes stunning, and many people have said so. She now refused to take any photos of herself at all😢 and its affecting her self esteem. She says being unphotogenic is just a myth . Is it? I certainly think it isnt tbh, dd1 just looks so different, the camera enhances the tiny imperfections. Its the same with my DS (but not my dd2 or 3)

OP posts:
Illegally18 · 25/05/2025 22:54

PinkChaires · 25/05/2025 19:21

Even now ill look at old pictures of her and think ‘ thats totally different to how i remember you!’

Yes, I believe it's a thing. It has little to do with angles or how relaxed you are. I have a friend who works in the beauty industry ( pretty), who told me that when people meet her after seeing her photograph they are sometimes disappointed. I think it has to do with the planes of the face and how light 'seizes' it.

stayathomer · 25/05/2025 22:42

I laughed when my friend said this to me but oh my god it really is true- she is beautiful and every photo she doesn’t quite look like her, or has closed eyes, is squinting, head at a weird angle … every time they do a family photo someone tells her to try!!

MoltenLasagne · 25/05/2025 22:42

Apparently some of it is to do with the focal length of the lenses used. Most cameras on phones have a short focal length which can overly distort faces, whereas traditional style cameras give a more realistic view.

This picture shows how much of an impact it can have...

Aibu to think being unphotogenic is a thing
Buffysoldersister · 25/05/2025 22:38

It is absolutely a thing. I have two friends both look great in real life, but one looks like a supermodel in photos and the other looks terrible, apart from the very rare nice ones if she doesn't know the picture is being taken. Show your daughter the episode of friends with Chandler and Monica getting the engagement photo done. I also think the suggestion of some professional shots is a good one, especially if you can get someone who specialises in candid shots and could maybe photograph her doing something so she is less self conscious.

Calliopespa · 25/05/2025 22:30

A quick Google confirmed my suspicions about rounded faces. Angular faces reflect light differently while rounder ones reflect in all directions which is less attractive in a photo, yet often prettier in real life.

Also cameras can make faces wider and noses larger - which may be why sone of us are feeling striking people fare less well and the plainer featured people tend to improve.

theonlygirl · 25/05/2025 22:27

I sincerely hope it's a thing, because I look bloody awful in pictures. I also look quite different in pictures then I do in the mirror. Odd

TheBossOfMe · 25/05/2025 22:24

Also - find portrait mode on your phone.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 25/05/2025 22:22

Definitely a thing

Calliopespa · 25/05/2025 22:22

Wishingplenty · 25/05/2025 22:18

Plain people often photograph well because it is like working with a blank canvas. People with stricking features often don't look good in photos but stunning in real life, because their facial features just don't translate Well on camera. I know many plain or quite unattractive people who look gorgeous in pictures. It is most definitely a thing!

This is more or less what I notice. It’s sometimes pasty and plainer-featured people who look better. Also irl hair plays more of a role as you have a more three dimensional view.

Wishingplenty · 25/05/2025 22:18

Plain people often photograph well because it is like working with a blank canvas. People with stricking features often don't look good in photos but stunning in real life, because their facial features just don't translate Well on camera. I know many plain or quite unattractive people who look gorgeous in pictures. It is most definitely a thing!

TheodoraCrumpet · 25/05/2025 22:14

I'm not at all photogenic and neither is my DD. Fine if we're caught unawares and somebody captures a natural expression, but somehow our faces seize up into the most awful grimaces the second someone says Cheese. We just can't conjure up a natural looking smile. DD is gorgeous in reality.
I take a passable, if mildly pouty, selfie.

Calliopespa · 25/05/2025 22:09

user8642096713 · 25/05/2025 20:07

Totally a real thing - my friend looks absolutely stunning in photos, in real life she’s perfectly pretty, but not the magazine model that her photos suggest.

Though ironically she probably could be a magazine model as that would be photos.

Calliopespa · 25/05/2025 22:04

Also faces that can look gaunt in real life can look softer in a photo. Softer faces can look fat.

TheFunHare · 25/05/2025 22:01

Wow...never realised this was a thing but it's very reassuring. I think I'm average looking and scrub up quite well on occasion but photos of me are almost without exception terrible. I've just accepted it now but my son is the same.

whitewineandsun · 25/05/2025 21:55

Of course it is. I look shit in photos and slightly less so in real life.

FVFrog · 25/05/2025 21:54

Definitely a thing! I am the most unphotogenic person ever. I have been told I am much more attractive in person, and I think that’s down to my personality.

Bridgetjonesheart · 25/05/2025 21:53

It’s a thing. The way people’s faces catch the light. It’s a harsh time for kids with cameras being everywhere and images shared all over on social media.

Calliopespa · 25/05/2025 21:50

TheBossOfMe · 25/05/2025 19:59

Linda Evangelista once said something about a photographer in her early days saying she should always have her lips slightly apart in photos because her angles didn't photograph well otherwise. And Kate Moss has talked about how the lighting, angles, height of camera etc transform her from average to supermodel.

I’m not going to name names but I have seen quite a few celebrities in the flesh who look stunning on screen and … you honestly wouldn’t look twice at them in reality if you didn’t recognise them from their photos/movies. Almost always disappointing. But I guess that’s what Hollywood screen tests were invented for.

Ladamesansmerci · 25/05/2025 21:50

I think it's a thing. I'm mega unphotogenic. I'm very normal looking and reasonably pretty irl, but I look awful in photos. I struggle to smile on cue though (neurodivergence) and feel incredibly awkward. My entire face/body just becomes awkward in photos.

Calliopespa · 25/05/2025 21:48

I also think with people who are quite vivacious in real life that side of them doesn’t really come across strongly, whereas people you are used to seeing a bit sour and low-energy have only to light up temporarily and it suddenly transforms them. ( No, no, I’m not thinking of anyone in particular: why do you ask?! )

mumsie8 · 25/05/2025 21:45

Oh my god, I've found my people. I take fucking hideous photos. David Bailey would be hard pressed to manage a decent shot of me. So much so, I have a deep pathological hatred of being in photos and for the most part refuse to do so. The current phenomenon of photographing oneself to share with the world on an almost hourly basis is to me like one of the seven circles of hell! shudder I have no words of comfort, except to say : I get it.

Calliopespa · 25/05/2025 21:45

CuppaJoe · 25/05/2025 21:28

Of course it’s a thing!
I have two siblings, one is very attractive and turns heads when out, but looks dreadful in every single photo. The other is unremarkable in real life but comes across as beautiful and glowy in photos. It’s weird.

Yes it’s that glowy look! I actually think it’s people with very pasty complexion and the camera kind of reflects off it like the moon or something!

Calliopespa · 25/05/2025 21:44

Greekrolls · 25/05/2025 19:33

I am 100% convinced that I am far more gorgeous than I look in both photos and mirrors. So you are definitely NBU, OP. 😀

🤣🤣🤣

CuppaJoe · 25/05/2025 21:28

Of course it’s a thing!
I have two siblings, one is very attractive and turns heads when out, but looks dreadful in every single photo. The other is unremarkable in real life but comes across as beautiful and glowy in photos. It’s weird.

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