Are older people obsessed with commenting on other peoples weight?

The idea that saying "older people" doesn't mean "all older people" is a bit batshit.

How when you expect them to add “some” or other words when you could take it at face value and not assume it means “all”.

This is terrible. But please, EDs can spring from any family. We’ve never owned scales, never commented on weight, always been happy in our own skins. Yet we have produced a daughter with a pernicious ED. She herself says it’s entirely her own. She’s a slightly autistic perfectionist. And her bad influences were more from social media. She has never once blamed us. And I believe her.
shes 27 and 10 years into her ED. Functions highly, but I fear like yours it’ll be a long haul.
your family sound difficult but it’s not always about comments made about weight. It’s so very complex.
my best wishes to you xxx

Some people seem to think it's ok to comment on other people's weight. My own experience is that it's not age dependant at all.

My mum and my aunts all pass judgement on weight as the very first thing they say when they see each other or other female family members. I hate it!

Thank. You. 👏

That's very true. I remember hearing about the pull a pig contests. Awful.

I hear men talking about it as much as women. Sit near a group of blokes in the pub and you'll hear it, about each other, themselves, other people.

I'm so sorry but this is all kind of fucked up. Cutting off your clothes labels so your mother won't see them. Guess that's reflective of how their negativity has pulled you down mentally. It's not you with the problem, it's your toxic parents. I hope you've managed to find some kind of therapy.

This is my experience with my parents tbh. They are obsessed with weight. My father commented recently about a journalist on the news 'I don't want to sit here and watch some fat cow reading me the news'. I challenged him strongly. My mother is the same. Both are short and dumpy with apple body types- as am I. My sister is more like my paternal aunt- very slim and slight. She never gets comments but I have had them all my life. My mother when she stays with us now goes into my closet and checks the size tags of my clothes so I cut them out before she comes. Apparently I am 'too sensitive' and it's just because she cares. My mother also recently mused sadly that it was so sad so and so had died of cancer because she had lost all that weight in the months before her death and was 'looking the best she's ever looked'. It's sick.

I have 2 DCs and they have taken after their father who is very tall. My mother comments all the time how 'wonderful' it is they have inherited his shape and not my 'hobbit genes'.

I am 52 and a recovering bulimic. I can't stand people seeing me eat but have managed to force myself to eat main meals with my family (I usually hide to eat breakfast or lunch) and i have to keep telling myself that being overweight is not due to any issues with my worth as a person.

And I’ve never heard men talking about but I’ve heard many, many women talking about someone’s weight

Surely it depends on the person? My Nanna (born in the 20s) was a great biscuit pusher and would always say “oh, you’re like a lat” if you declined (even if you were very much not like a lat)

Yep my mum (81) is exactly the same.

I’ve recently lost a lot of weight and although it was great at the start… who doesn’t love a compliment … now it’s just constant. Our whole conversation is about my weight loss, as if that’s my only worth.

when I was heavier after I’d had my youngest son, whenever she spoke to anyone and my name was mentioned she ALWAYS made the comment that ‘of course I’ve still not lost my baby fat!!’… with a sad face -!!!
this was usually in front of me …

She constantly comments on peoples clothes, how they walk, their hair and makeup or lack off… and everything in between.

baring in mind my mum has always been overweight, and has never been a snappy dresser as it’s not important to her … but it is so important and almost insulting to her if someone else isn’t perfect.

it’s exhausting!!!!

And yes, she’s always been a judgemental person!!!

This screams to me that she has had a lifetime of disordered eating. Restricting what she can eat, and being miserable.

Id show some compassion

My 60+ relatives don't make personal comments. Thinking about it neither do their friends who are scattered across the UK and the world.

My point was you must deal with a very small number of people. And presumably who've picked up their bad manners from each other because it is definitely not that specific group.

I'm not offended for myself, just about what might have been a good post reduced to a narrow minded pop at a complete demographic/generation.

Can people at least keep the same energy if they’re going to shout ageism?

There seems to be threads every week about how pathetic, weak, and fragile people in their 20s are these days (conveniently forgetting who raised that generation), people tearing the younger generations apart for all sorts, calling young girls “horrible little madams” etc but commenting on a trend of behaviours from older people is frowned upon?

And fat people just aren’t allowed to exist happily, are they? God forbid a fat woman posts a picture on social media showing off a new outfit. She’s glorifying obesity! Never mind the fact that despite her size, she’s still allowed to feel good about herself. Not once have I seen an obese person “glorifying” their weight, they’re not shouting from the roof tops that everybody should look like them. Seen plenty of that from the other side, however.

Quiet down Grandma.

My MIL is obsessed with weight. Her own and other peoples. Early 80s, very with it and active. It’s very boring and can be embarrassing too, when she loudly talks about overweight people she can see!

My mum comments people’s weight too. She’s always been on a diet and fluctuates with her own weight over the years but she has to comment on weight and I find it bizarre. For example a few weeks ago I said I saw someone we both know and was talking to her about it and the first thing she asked was she still big, she’s always been quite big?!

This is so true. And we oldies also worry about the overweight children of these very fat people.

When I read on the S&B threads that someone is 14 stone and a 'size 12' I think not in my day luv!

As a teenager in the 70s I was 10 stone and a size 16 - that's how it was and it kept us in check, otherwise you had to shop in Evans Outsize.

This is so true but people don’t seem to do that in life or on mumsnet. It’s always all people are this or that isn’t it. An absolute.

sane with people saying x is rubbish, instead of saying I think x is rubbish or in my opinion , or perhaps that’s inferred as it’s the person saying it.

in terms of the question, my mum who is 83 is like this, a nurse who was telling her something about her cholesterol was not listened to as she was fat , she did an impression of a large person by blowing her cheeks out to demonstrate as she was telling me. Obsessed by her weight and has been all my life (I’m 53) I think in her case it was because she’d little agency or power so being thin and having a clean house were her thing, makes her feel superior. I think it was currency in a world where she felt she didn’t matter.

It was definitely an accepted societal norm 20+ years ago to talk about weight. My dm always tells me who has put on weight and how awful they look. I remember her always pointing my belly out to salespeople in shops when I was trying to get new jeans or school skirts. Thankfully the younger generation aren't as harsh with their words, it's no longer acceptable to fat shame. Louis Walsh regularly fat shamed contestants on the x factor and that's not that long ago. I would never comment on anyone's weight, it's rude to even notice imo. A simple 'you look great' suffices. Nobody should be judged on their appearance full stop.

I promise that I am not the one looking foolish here. 😂

You are saying, I think, "well obviously that's not what I meant". However, if you meant "some" older people, or even that older people are more likely than younger people - you should have written that. The idea that saying "older people" doesn't mean "all older people" is a bit batshit 😂

I really wanted to find your post ageist 😂 I'm 70 and beyond pissed off with casual ageism.

But I kind of agree with you. In the 2020s, it's not considered acceptable to comment on a person's appearance (unless you're gushing compliments like a fire hydrant of flattery). It's always been bad manners, to be fair, but people have always done it. The current obsession with being 'kind' and 'triggers' has put a dampener on that.

So, yeah, I reckon young people are less likely to do it. Not unlikely, though: you don't have to look far to find 20-year-olds slagging off one another's looks, and I'd say 30-plus people are just as bad as us oldies. More likely to preface their assassinations with "I don't want to be mean ..." perhaps, but that's worthless.

The 50's 60's and 70's were worse. They swallowed tapeworm to stay slim.
Or maybe the diet craze existed for decades post famines/wars until the noughties onwards was swamped with fast food places.