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Are older people obsessed with commenting on other peoples weight?

336 replies

ByZanyRubyOrca · 25/05/2025 17:37

I’m a nurse and have previously worked in older peoples care, so usually around 60+ and find they (mainly women) are obsessed with commenting on other people’s appearances such as how they look, if they are attractive/not attractive but mainly weight comments.
Examples of real life comments “Isn’t Kirsty putting on the weight? Laura has lost too much weight and looks gaunt. Charlotte needs to wear more make up if she wants to find herself a man. John is getting too big, how can he even walk?

I also noticed when I was around 14, my nana would also make comments on everyone’s weight, even her grandchildren (girls and boys) so she would have been around mid 50s then so not old at all. Comments would be made to add context I suppose, but then she would just make comments without it being relevant to what she was talking about.

When I was 20, I visited my then boyfriend’s nana for the first time and she made comments to him about my weight, right infront of me, as if I wasn’t there. Saying how I was fatter than his sisters 😂 I wasn’t fatter than his sisters at all, in fact I was several stone lighter ( was a size 8 at the time) but even if I was heavier why even mention that or bring it up? She then offered me several of her size 20 jumpers, as she thought they might fit me as they were too big for her, despite her being a size 20. Nothing wrong with being a size 20 at all it’s more that she’s saying they were too big for her and I would fit in them, despite me being a size 8 and there’s clearly a obvious difference in size.

Has anyone else experienced this? I work with people in their 20s and people older than me and have noticed they don’t really talk about weight or make comments on appearance.

OP posts:
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TarnishedMoonstone · 25/05/2025 17:59

All you and other posters had to do to make this thread (more) acceptable is write “some” older people. As it is, it’s ageist and ignorant. People who are 60 now were born 20 years after the end of WW2 and certainly don’t remember rationing, which ended in the early 1950s I think.

Miley23 · 25/05/2025 17:58

My elderly aunt is awful for this. She even said her 3 years old granddaughter was overweight ( she just had that toddler chubbiness) and told me on the phone that my cousin ( her daughter) had become ' huge'. I saw my cousin a few days later and she was like around a size 14 ! I am a size 20 and dread seeing her wondering what she is saying about me once I have gone !

soupyspoon · 25/05/2025 17:58

Strange thread and some strange comments

In a pub today and the father of the family, guessimate late 20s early 30s was talking about excess calories and how much steps they had all done that day and what more they were going to do later. The partner/wife's father didnt comment about that, the wife was chatting along too.

What shall I take from this one encounter?

ByZanyRubyOrca · 25/05/2025 17:58

cluefu · 25/05/2025 17:48

My FIL (now deceased) commented a lot on weight but I think it was because he struggled with appetite so genuinely liked to see that people enjoyed food. I also think that was because he was old enough to remember the effects of post-war rationing and therefore was pleased to see people eat what they wanted. He often commented on my weight but in a positive way, when I put weight on

It might be something to do with that, lots of older people will feel the effects of rationing even if they weren't born that bear to WW2? 😊

Yeah I know what you mean. My nana was born a year after the war but was brought up on rations. It could indeed be that. She however sees putting on weight as a negative. Tbf if she thinks you’re too skinny or too fat she’ll have a problem with it 😂 but I find her comments just mean and unnecessary and she has upset people in the past, I’ve asked her for years to not make these comments but she still does.

OP posts:
Hobnobswantshernameback · 25/05/2025 17:56

Apparently the minute you turn 60 oy are taken with every single other person aged 60 to re education camps and hereafter you all behave exactly the same
people under 60 never ever say anything rude or inappropriate

Tagyoureit · 25/05/2025 17:55

Older generations are obsessed with weight, slimmer is better in their minds, that's always been the way and there are 100s of threads on here that prove it.

My mum was the same, born in 1955, my aunts all the same.

Commented relentlessly on my weight, made my life a misery if I'm honest. I'm 45 now and have a very bad relationship with weight, body image etc. I think I've been on a diet since 1990.

I'm definitely trying to break the cycle with my 2 kids!

Linked · 25/05/2025 17:54

BethDuttonYeHaw · 25/05/2025 17:49

Yes it’s absolute rule that everyone over the age of 60 comments on other people’s weight.

because of course all people over the age of 60 are the same and have the same characteristics, beliefs and personality traits.

🤦‍♀️

or your thread might be ageist shite

Edited

Ageist and sexist

LikeARacoonOnMeth · 25/05/2025 17:49

You’ve just brought up a memory of a time when DGM gave us a pound note in an envelope with a little note instead of an Easter egg one year. I was a perfectly normal sized child, my siblings were like stick insects though so I must have looked large next to them. I was about 8. My note said ‘here’s some money as too much chocolate makes you fat’. I found my siblings notes days later and theirs said ‘here’s some money to help your savings grow’!

DH had an old aunt that used to constantly comment on our nephew, his siblings DS, weight. She would outwardly say ‘God you’re so fat…..how have you got so big?’ Etc etc. the woman was like a barrel herself but felt it fair to comment on an 11 year old with a bit of a tummy. Shocking.

I can only assume it’s how they were brought up. Their worth was based on their figure. Sad really.

BethDuttonYeHaw · 25/05/2025 17:49

Yes it’s absolute rule that everyone over the age of 60 comments on other people’s weight.

because of course all people over the age of 60 are the same and have the same characteristics, beliefs and personality traits.

🤦‍♀️

or your thread might be ageist shite

cluefu · 25/05/2025 17:49

*close to WW2

cluefu · 25/05/2025 17:48

My FIL (now deceased) commented a lot on weight but I think it was because he struggled with appetite so genuinely liked to see that people enjoyed food. I also think that was because he was old enough to remember the effects of post-war rationing and therefore was pleased to see people eat what they wanted. He often commented on my weight but in a positive way, when I put weight on

It might be something to do with that, lots of older people will feel the effects of rationing even if they weren't born that bear to WW2? 😊

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