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Original poster

Woman yelled at me in public toilets

315 replies

empee47 · 25/05/2025 07:58

Went to Tesco yesterday and visited the loo. Washed my hands and turned on the hand dryer and another lady started yelling at me that I was upsetting her daughter because of the noise. Daughter looked to be about 3 and was visibly distressed. Had they asked me not to use the dryer until they’d left the sink area and explained why, I wouldn’t have done. Apparently I can’t possibly be a mum myself as everyone knows kids are scared of the noise. Happens that I have 2 kids myself and the noise has never bothered them. It was the aggressive way she was bellowing at me in public that annoyed me and the sense of entitlement that everything had to run her way.

OP posts:
Koalafan · 25/05/2025 11:46

Velmy · 25/05/2025 11:42

I'd have turned on every dryer in there 🤣

Why? To show how petty you are?

Koalafan · 25/05/2025 11:45

LoveFridaynight · 25/05/2025 11:33

5 next month

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Right, that's probably ok for now but realistically you'll have to stop taking him into women's spaces in the next few years. Presumably you're aware of that already though. 👍

Velmy · 25/05/2025 11:42

I'd have turned on every dryer in there 🤣

Tiredofwhataboutery · 25/05/2025 11:39

Obviously she was rude, I’ve been asked not to use dryer as child doesn’t like it. I’m happy to wait a minute or use a paper towel (if available). I don’t want to cause distress to a child unnecessarily but that depends on request being made politely.

katepilar · 25/05/2025 11:37

Difficult to say, depending on where the child was in relation to the dryer. If she was standing right next to it than I would think its not a good idea to start the dryer.
The mother was likely at the end of the tether and just couldnt hold her marbles anymore. Obviously she wasnt right yelling at you and assuming you know her child is scared of the noice if the child was far away from it. Some people dont realise that not all the children are the same as their child.
I would be a bit shaken if that happen to me but would try to sympathise with a tired mother and the distressed child and let it go as soon as I possibly could.

LoveFridaynight · 25/05/2025 11:33

Koalafan · 25/05/2025 10:35

What age is your DS?

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5 next month

Gingercatlover · 25/05/2025 11:29

Well keep your child out of public toilets then! The entitlement of some people.

Nelly91 · 25/05/2025 11:29

She should have asked you if it was such an issue!! My child has ASD and is terrified of the hand dryer but I would have asked or used the disabled toilet if the noise was that much of an issue! Not your fault by any means.

AzurePanda · 25/05/2025 11:28

Funkeh · 25/05/2025 07:59

I mean I wouldn’t use hand dryer because they’re woefully unhygienic but yeah the noise is also horrific
maybe just take your own tissues next time

So you’re happy to breathe in this air and also expose your whole body to it but not put your hands underneath it?

dizzydizzydizzy · 25/05/2025 11:21

You get a lot of riff raff in Tesco and this is an example of that. I swear people go there to smack their kids.

lifeonmars100 · 25/05/2025 11:17

So she is teaching her child that the best way to ask people to be kind and considerate to others is to scream abuse at them? Ridiculous woman and if her child hates noise then I feel for them as it must be horrible living with a screechy yelling parent

Koalafan · 25/05/2025 11:14

Ladamesansmerci · 25/05/2025 11:14

Sure, but most people don't have this. For most people, anxiety does reduce through exposure.

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You'd be surprised how many people do have it. Some don't even realise it's got a name.

Ladamesansmerci · 25/05/2025 11:14

Koalafan · 25/05/2025 11:02

It's not necessarily true that people become less scared through exposure though. While it's not necessarily the OPs problem, for those with misphonia this will probably be a lifelong problem.

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Sure, but most people don't have this. For most people, anxiety does reduce through exposure.

Moonpye · 25/05/2025 11:13

My kids are terrified of the hand dryer. I always say I won't use it myself but I won't stop anyone else using it. If they don't like it they need to put their hands over their ears!

This woman sounds terrible.

MrsSkylerWhite · 25/05/2025 11:12

Fingeronthebutton · 25/05/2025 08:47

Maybe She’d had a very bad day with a child who, by the sound of it has sensory processing disorder.

And? That doesn’t make it acceptable to shout at a stranger who is perfectly reasonably drying her hands in a public lavatory.

IzzyHandsIsMySpiritAnimal · 25/05/2025 11:10

CustardySergeant · 25/05/2025 10:41

I didn't get where I am today by civetting my ears!

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Got to love autocorrect. It already corrected dryer to sheet, but I spotted that.

A civet might help block the noise though 😄

TheGander · 25/05/2025 11:09

DS2 (but not DS1) would always burst into tears in public toilets when a hand dryer went off. It never occurred to me to instruct people not to use them, much less yell at them.OP, I suspect she is living a stressful life, maybe even who knows sound phobic/ non neurotypical herself. You did nothing wrong.

Redpeach · 25/05/2025 11:09

I hate those driers

MoominMai · 25/05/2025 11:04

babystarsandmoon · 25/05/2025 08:02

She sounds unhinged.

Likely making her poor daughters issues worse and increasing any existing reactivity. For all we know much of her daughters distress could be due to her mothers aggressive response 😬.

Koalafan · 25/05/2025 11:02

Ladamesansmerci · 25/05/2025 10:47

You are obviously not unreasonable. Children are scared of loud noises. They become less scared through exposure. Unless the child has sensory processing issues due to neurodivergence or etc, it's unreasonable to expect other people not to use the dryer. It won't harm a child to be scared for 30 seconds. It will eventually teach them that is also nothing to be scared of from a dryer.

It's not necessarily true that people become less scared through exposure though. While it's not necessarily the OPs problem, for those with misphonia this will probably be a lifelong problem.

Mugcake · 25/05/2025 10:58

She's batshit, my three yr old is scared of hand dryers too. It's my (and her) job to comfort the child not yell at randoms. You're in a public toilet, you're allowed to use the hand dryer 😂

Ladamesansmerci · 25/05/2025 10:47

You are obviously not unreasonable. Children are scared of loud noises. They become less scared through exposure. Unless the child has sensory processing issues due to neurodivergence or etc, it's unreasonable to expect other people not to use the dryer. It won't harm a child to be scared for 30 seconds. It will eventually teach them that is also nothing to be scared of from a dryer.

MzHz · 25/05/2025 10:42

Tooty78 · 25/05/2025 10:30

I ALWAYS use paper towels instead of the hand driers. Before I retired I worked at our local hospital, and if paper towels are good enough for the NHS they're good enough for me.

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Good enough for the NHS is hardly a measure of efficiency or capability… forgotten the inadequate and unsafe PPE The Tory friends and family contract club tried to force on the doctors and nurses fighting covid already have you?

CustardySergeant · 25/05/2025 10:41

IzzyHandsIsMySpiritAnimal · 25/05/2025 10:05

Same.
It's not up to other people to have psychic abilities.
I'd say, "Someone is going to use the dryer, so civet your ears. "

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I didn't get where I am today by civetting my ears!

Arraminta · 25/05/2025 10:41

Chavs. They get everywhere.