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Original poster

Woman yelled at me in public toilets

315 replies

empee47 · 25/05/2025 07:58

Went to Tesco yesterday and visited the loo. Washed my hands and turned on the hand dryer and another lady started yelling at me that I was upsetting her daughter because of the noise. Daughter looked to be about 3 and was visibly distressed. Had they asked me not to use the dryer until they’d left the sink area and explained why, I wouldn’t have done. Apparently I can’t possibly be a mum myself as everyone knows kids are scared of the noise. Happens that I have 2 kids myself and the noise has never bothered them. It was the aggressive way she was bellowing at me in public that annoyed me and the sense of entitlement that everything had to run her way.

OP posts:
AInightingale · 25/05/2025 13:46

CantStopMoving · 25/05/2025 13:44

Ahh ok didn’t know that. Hopefully you just avoided the loos then rather than telling other people what to do!

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We used the disabled, young children can't 'avoid' using the toilet.

CantStopMoving · 25/05/2025 13:44

AInightingale · 25/05/2025 13:12

It's an absolutely real and quite notorious fear in young autistic children. My eldest was terrified of them and it made life v difficult while out and at school until he was about nine years old.

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Ahh ok didn’t know that. Hopefully you just avoided the loos then rather than telling other people what to do!

ThatsNotMyTeen · 25/05/2025 13:41

She’s a twat

My son has ASD and used to find the noise of hand dryers distressing which clearly wasn’t nice for him but it didn’t mean I could do anything to stop other people using them

funinthesun19 · 25/05/2025 13:38

Communitywebbing · 25/05/2025 08:14

Maybe this woman was at the end of her tether for some other reason. Her poor DC must have been scared by her.

Meh. That’s her problem, not OP’s. People should be able to use the hand dryer without her taking her frustrations out on them.
I’m at the end of my tether for lots of reasons.

ohyesido · 25/05/2025 13:34

Surely it’s on the mum not to take her child into a public toilet where something as natural as using hand dryers is going to upset them?

Koalafan · 25/05/2025 13:34

SpunkySquid · 25/05/2025 13:33

Ok that’s fine, but my point is I don’t know any so it never would even have entered my head to not dry my hands because a child is in the vicinity. I’m not psychic.

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Now you do know. 😉

SpunkySquid · 25/05/2025 13:33

Koalafan · 25/05/2025 10:06

Loads of kids are scared of them, however it's about how parents respond.

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Ok that’s fine, but my point is I don’t know any so it never would even have entered my head to not dry my hands because a child is in the vicinity. I’m not psychic.

Readytohealnow · 25/05/2025 13:25

Gettingbysomehow · 25/05/2025 08:26

I speak a second language fluently so in these type of situations I just pretend I can't speak English and blather on in the other language. It works a treat for arseholes. 😂

This is hilarious. I am too - I might by start doing that 🤣🤣

menopausalfart · 25/05/2025 13:24

My DD hates the sound. She has DS. It's never occurred to me to ask people not to use them. We carry ear defenders. This person could invest in preventative measures instead of expecting people to know about her child's sensitivities.

ohyesido · 25/05/2025 13:18

Ugh unfortunately there are many thoughtless and rude people like this in the world, people who just wait for an opportunity to be self righteous and when they find one they milk it.

this woman is unhappy. Don’t blame yourself, pity her

Koalafan · 25/05/2025 13:15

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

AInightingale · 25/05/2025 13:12

CantStopMoving · 25/05/2025 13:06

I’ve never heard of children being scared of the dryers. Mine certainly weren’t and I’ve never seen a child scared in the loos.

id have given her short shift tbh. How dare other people tell someone else what to do? Truly baffling. If her child has a strange phobia then it is up to the parents to remove their child from that situation. I think the world has gone mad

It's an absolutely real and quite notorious fear in young autistic children. My eldest was terrified of them and it made life v difficult while out and at school until he was about nine years old.

CantStopMoving · 25/05/2025 13:06

I’ve never heard of children being scared of the dryers. Mine certainly weren’t and I’ve never seen a child scared in the loos.

id have given her short shift tbh. How dare other people tell someone else what to do? Truly baffling. If her child has a strange phobia then it is up to the parents to remove their child from that situation. I think the world has gone mad

JudgeJ · 25/05/2025 13:01

Moonpye · 25/05/2025 11:13

My kids are terrified of the hand dryer. I always say I won't use it myself but I won't stop anyone else using it. If they don't like it they need to put their hands over their ears!

This woman sounds terrible.

Exactly, it's not surprising that so many children have 'issues' if every time they encounter a small problem it is blown up out of all proportion. Coping is a skill more parents should encourage their children to do.

JudgeJ · 25/05/2025 12:59

SpunkySquid · 25/05/2025 10:01

She was a twat. I’ve never known a kid be scared of a hand dryer.

Some definitely are but they need to learn to accept it as a part of life, not pandered to.

Cherrytree86 · 25/05/2025 12:56

Funkeh · 25/05/2025 07:59

I mean I wouldn’t use hand dryer because they’re woefully unhygienic but yeah the noise is also horrific
maybe just take your own tissues next time

@Funkeh

nah, I couldn’t be arsed with taking my own tissues. The hand dryers are installed for the purpose of drying hands so that’s what I’ll use. End of.

Zone2NorthLondon · 25/05/2025 12:28

Funkeh · 25/05/2025 07:59

I mean I wouldn’t use hand dryer because they’re woefully unhygienic but yeah the noise is also horrific
maybe just take your own tissues next time

Dont be imposing your daft views on other people. Dryers serve a purpose in wc
No one needs to be carrying tissue as an alternative to dryer because a minority don’t like dyers.YOU need to anticipate someone will use the dryers that are provided for their intended purpose. If you don’t like it, you leave promptly with your tissues.

Roxietrees · 25/05/2025 12:22

@empee47 how did you react to her?
Horrible, entitled, aggressive woman, her reaction was ridiculous. My 4 yo doesn’t like the noise either but it’s part of being in a public space and he needs to learn that other people aren’t going to stop doing things because of him. I just cover his ears and that usually works fine. I’m sure you coped with the verbal attack better than I would have..I would have lost my shit and probably said something awful 🤣

CalmTheFuckDownMargaret · 25/05/2025 12:20

That mother and child better strap in for the next 15 years because if this is how she approaches things she’ll generate a lot of conflict with strangers and not all of them will be as reasonable as you when confronted by her batshittery.

NewGoldFox · 25/05/2025 12:19

Helpmeplease2025 · 25/05/2025 12:06

That’s completely optional, and no one has any right to get upset when someone doesn’t conform to this made-up etiquette.

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Yes it’s quite often optional to be considerate of small children. I don’t see the point you’re trying to make here? I never said the woman was right to shout at op.

Enjoy blasting small children’s eardrums to your hearts content I suppose.

Crickacrack · 25/05/2025 12:11

Enthusiasticcarrotgrower · 25/05/2025 09:06

I hate the “you obviously don’t have kids…” used at a stranger in an argument. It’s so deliberately hurtful.

Yeah and what if the person doesn’t have kids and wanted to have kids? Or had a kid and lost them to some illness or accident.

There’s so many reasons why it’s a foolish and insensitive thing to say.

As evidenced on here it’s often said to people who do have kids. So it’s a complete nonsense that these people can tell either way.

Helpmeplease2025 · 25/05/2025 12:06

NewGoldFox · 25/05/2025 11:57

Whilst I don’t agree with the woman’s reaction at all I think it’s a relatively new etiquette/politeness to be considerate of children when using these driers. Some of them are so obnoxiously loud and they are ear height for a lot of the littlies.
I try to be aware of any children around when using them as my own children used to find them so unpleasant and it’s just considerate to try to do so.

That’s completely optional, and no one has any right to get upset when someone doesn’t conform to this made-up etiquette.

NewGoldFox · 25/05/2025 11:57

Whilst I don’t agree with the woman’s reaction at all I think it’s a relatively new etiquette/politeness to be considerate of children when using these driers. Some of them are so obnoxiously loud and they are ear height for a lot of the littlies.
I try to be aware of any children around when using them as my own children used to find them so unpleasant and it’s just considerate to try to do so.

Flashahah · 25/05/2025 11:56

Koalafan · 25/05/2025 11:45

Right, that's probably ok for now but realistically you'll have to stop taking him into women's spaces in the next few years. Presumably you're aware of that already though. 👍

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Good job you’re about to tell the PP how to deal with her DS in the next few years.

And it’s not probably ok, it’s absolutely fine.

BIossomtoes · 25/05/2025 11:46

Funkeh · 25/05/2025 08:07

Because a lot of the older style ones (such as supermarkets) recycle air from the toilets, you are aware of what air in toilets with no ventilation is like right? 💩

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You are aware that’s the air you’re breathing all the time you’re in there?